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Friday Caption Contest on a Sunday – Jumaa Kater Saleh Edition

Tom Winnifrith
Sunday 17 November 2013

Don’t’ know who Jumaa is yet?  Is that

 a)      Because Theresa May has cracked down on the UK’s insane asylum laws and so there is no problem

b)      Becuase you have not read the sane Sunday press

c)       Because you read the Guardian/Observer/Independent and think that our immigration/legal aid/welfare system is an unmitigated blessing so have not been told about Jumaa?

Ok, to the chase: Jumaa arrived in the UK illegally in 2004 in the back of a lorry. He cannot speak proper English. He has never worked. He has always lived on benefits. And he raped a 13 year old girl and two other minors. He is a paedophile.

So is the UK:

a) putting him in prison for a long time and then sending him back to Sudan because Theresa May has cracked down on the UK’s insane asylum laws?
b) Sending him straight back to Sudan?
c) having jailed him for just two years it is now paying him vast amounts of compensation for keeping him in prison longer as we tried to deport him and thus infringing his human rights?

Guess what? It is c. No kidding. Apparently Jumaa has cost the British taxpayer £350,000 since are arrived here. And Theresa May is useless. Well that second item won’t be news to you.

In honour of this case I ask you for captions to the picture below. Please post your entries in the comments section.

For what it is worth my caption is:

Idi takes a time machine and arrives in the UK in 2013 and Theresa May welcomes him saying:  “Mr. Amin, we appreciate that if we sent you back to Uganda you would be persecuted for your cannibalism and so to protect your human rights please stay in Britain…now where would you like us to put you up?”

Last week I asked you for captions to this picture

Blair

The winner came via twitter from Peter McBride with:

I wonder if I could franchise the other lapel...?

Balir to a T. well done Peter.

I look forward to seeing the Amin capitions in the comments section below by Friday.

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About Tom Winnifrith
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Tom Winnifrith is the editor of TomWinnifrith.com. When he is not harvesting olives in Greece, he is (planning to) raise goats in Wales.
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