I noted yesterday the persecution of Ofsted boss David Hoare for making a number of factually verifiable statements about the inbred chav community of the Isle of Wight and their propensity to crime, poor educational results and poverty. The old fool should have known better than to tell the truth and use empirical data in Airstrip One these days. It is far simpler to blame everything on global warming, the wicked Tories, Maggie Thatcher, Brexit or racism. Naturally my defence of Mr Hoare has already seen one chav from across the Solent send me a semi literate tweet and that prompts me to come up with "A Modest Proposal."
The long term solution is not a cheap one but could, I am sure be almost self funding. It is simply to persuade the young people of the Isle of Wight that they are to be offered a free holiday abroad with free alcohol thrown in. They could then be rounded up and let loose on other islands suffering from years of inbreeding such as the Isle of Man, almost all of the Western Isles in Scotland as well as certain parts of East Anglia as part of a mock club 18-30, the only way is Benidorm set up.
In order to introduce some colour diversity to the Isle of Wight a small group of its young ladies could be sent to more exotic locations such as the Pitcairn Islands. Plied with alcohol and deprived of any form of birth control, by the time the Isle of White chavs were rounded up again then, assuming they had managed to keep their hands off their own cousins, the gene pool on a range of Islands and in East Anglia would be expanded in a material way.
I accept that it may take several generation of exchanges to entirely eradicate the webbed feet and to push the IQ of the chavs on the Isle of Wight back up above 80 but this is a long term plan. In the short term we are told that the grinding poverty of the inbred chavs on the Isle of Wight is an issue. And thus I quote from someone who like me was an Anglo Irishman educated at Hertford College. Taking of the plight of our beloved Ireland, Jonathan Swift noted
I have been assured by a very knowing American of my acquaintance in London, that a young healthy child well nursed is at a year old a most delicious nourishing and wholesome food.
There you go. One could at a stroke weed out the thickest of the local chavs then use the food bank network to ensure that the remaining islanders had a nourishing meal every day.
Of course one could also reform our welfare and housing benefit laws so that folks without work from the Isle of Wight were forced to move elsewhere to find work thus ending the inbreeding issue, eradicating poverty and making the world a better place for all.
But heck, eradicating the dependency culture and the client state of the left would be far too painful so we must seek out a more modest proposal instead.