Personal and undiluted views
Bristol East

1516 days ago

Photo Article: General Election Result from Toumbia is in: Tory win!

The Mrs claims that she has put up a Labour poster in our house back in Bristol. The shame of it. What will our god fearing, hard working, tax paying white van driving neighbours think of us. They will have no idea that I am not, like the Mrs, a deluded Guardian reading lefty. The Mrs also made it clear that My Tory poster would be used as litter by Oakley or ripped up by Joshua in my absence. So I have brought it to Greece and as you can see it is now up on display ay the Greek Hovel.

---

1517 days ago

I called it for Trump & Macron - here is my GE2017 party by party forecast - big Tory win

Everyone, including me, called the French election right, but I was one of very few who predicted a Trump win in the US. For my hat-trick I am now having a stab at forecasts for the UK General Election on a party by party basis. But first just a few general observations before I go onto what will be a night of triumph for the Tories.

---

1528 days ago

Photo Article: Okay I have cast my vote but do so with no enthusiasm at all

James Delingpole‏ tweeted yesterday: Never thought I'd say this but Theresa May's Conservatives are so uninspiring it almost makes you yearn for the useless Dave. Rod Liddle asked "Is this the worst Tory Campaign ever?" I am not sure I know the answer Rod but as I go to vote in a seat the Tories should be gaining from Labour I do so almost not caring who wins.

---

1530 days ago

Photo Article: Ways to annoy the Mrs No 34: putting up a Tory election poster In Bristol East, then Greece

I am back in Bristol for a few days and was wandering back from lunch with Joshua when we happened to pass the Conservative Club. The door was open and i was conscious that I needed to renew my father's membership. Though not a Tory, or indeed a Bristol resident, he likes the idea of being able to access cheep beer at a place not far from our house.

---

1538 days ago

Online virtue signallers at Avaaz tell me to vote Labour tactically in Bristol East but they can't add up

Online virtue signalling liberal pests Avaaz claimed credit for Macron's victory but said they were robbed by the Trump triumph. That was really a win for them too. Now the virtue signallers are going for a hat-trick of wins and have turned their attemntion to the British Election where threy plan to stop the wicked Tories. Indeed they have contacted me about my vote in Bristol East. Sadly their maths makes those of Dianne Abbott look like Einstein. The snowflakes write:

---

2139 days ago

Kerry McCarthy MP (Labour farming) Treat meat eaters like smokers…er hang on comrade

I write as a meat eating smoker and loyal member of Comrade Corbyn’s Labour party here in Bristol East where our local MP is Kerry McCarthy, a vegan recently made shadow minister for The Environment, Food & Rural affairs. I am starting to worry that Comrade McCarthy and I might not see eye to eye when showing fraternal solidarity at our next branch meeting.

Comrade McCarthy is today quoted as saying: “I really believe that meat should be treated in exactly the same way as tobacco, with public campaigns to stop people eating it. Progress on animal welfare is being made at EU level... but in the end it comes down to not eating meat or dairy.”

Hmmmm.  Campaigns to stop smoking are because smoking cigarettes is bad for you – if you do it often enough you will get sick. So of course is unprotected anal sex with complete strangers. But we do not have bath-house taxes instead we have punitive cigarette taxes (which creates a mass criminal smuggling industry) because middle class morality insists on the right of the state to decide selectively what we should or should not put into our bodies.  Cigarettes bad. The todger of a highly promiscuous Easyjet airline steward, okay.

But at least

---

2289 days ago

Poor Theo Clarke (Con) just knocked on my door.

Theodora seems like a pleasant enough young lady and – for a politician - actually not bad looking either but the poor girl made the dreadful mistake of knocking on my door personally as she fights the Tory cause here in the safe Labour seat of Bristol East.

I opened the door and she said “Hi I am Theo Clarke” and I said “I Know who you are and I have written about you, you are not a proper Tory, you say Government should do more to create jobs. It should do less and butt out and let entrepreneurs create jobs but I’m voting for you anyway.”

I suspect poor Theo was rather taken aback.

---

2319 days ago

Amanda does not understand the Seagull issue and is cross with me

I wrote yesterday that I was considering voting Labour because it is only the People’s Party and its local standard bearer Ms Kerry McCarthy that understand the critical important of tackling the seagull menace here in Bristol East and have pledged to put it top of their agenda. My good friend Amanda is cross with me and has sent me a stern email.

Whilst I accept her point that the economy, Europe, crime and other matters are important I am still in two minds. Perhaps her reaction is symptomatic of how out of touch folk in London are with life in the rest of the country? What with their underwater yoga classes and other funny ways I cannot expect them to appreciate the true Seagull peril we face here in the boonies. And only Kerry and the People’s party seem to appreciate this.

On the other hand the smile on the face of the deluded middle class lefty  that is the Mrs when I announced that I was thinking of back Ed Miliband thanks to the sterling efforts of Kerry McCathy has made me think again. I cannot give her that pleasure. Okay, fear not Amanda I have stopped floating and am back with the Tories. But I would like them to stop blathering on about things like the economy and to let us know how they plan to tackle the big issue we face down here. What about the Seagulls Mr Cameron? What are you going to do about it?

---

2320 days ago

Should I vote Labour to tackle the Seagull Menace – the hot issue in Bristol East

I am rather cross with my capitalist cat Tara. Whereas my morbidly obese three legged cat Oakley treated the UKIP pamphlets thrust through our door with suitable respect by defecating on Nigel Farage’s face, Tara failed to respond in a suitable manner when the Labour party pushed three flyers through the letterbox. Bad Tara. 

Thus the Mrs, a lifelong deluded lefty, thrust them into my hand smirking at the failure of Tara to follow orders and I dutifully had a butchers. There was one from a dreadful harridan who leads Labour on the City Council and thinks our pompous arse of a red-trousered mayor George Ferguson is awful. He is but her rantings made me feel almost sorry for the Mayor. The level of petty squabbling just made me want to see the whole lot of them at City hall strung up with eco-friendly piano wire.

Then there was a glossy pamphlet from our Labour MP Kerry McCarthy. Oddly I could find no picture of her party leader Mr Miliband on the flyer and cannot imagine why that is. She had a long go at the Tories for failing to tackle the deficit. You what? Suddenly the party that always runs out of other people’s money when in power is the party of Austrian economics?  Pull the other one Kerry luv.  Kerry also boasts that she has mentioned Bristol 200 times in Parliament in the past five years. Wow… my taxes are well spent on you aren’t they?

Finally there was a pamphlet from my local council candidate who was wearing a trainspotter’s uniform and looked about 150. By this point I was losing the will to live but comrade Mike Langley grabbed my attention by flagging up the real issue in this election: the seagull menace here in Bristlington.  And

---

2368 days ago

Why is my local Tory candidate Theo Clarke ashamed of being a Conservative?

The local Tory candidate for the Bristol East Seat, Theo Clarke has just stuffed a flyer through our letterbox. The Mrs, being a deluded lefty, saw the flyer from Theo – who seems like a nice young lady – and noting the party said “it’s for you.”

Hmmm. I was hoping to see that Ms Clarke wants to slash welfare spending, introduce huge tax cuts for lower paid workers, and tackle the grotesque waste in the NHS and other branches of Government as she reduced the size of our bloated - and totally unaffordable – state. Maybe she might believe in other Tory policies like law and order or lifting the red tape and regulatory burden on small businesses? Er no….

Her priorities are: 

---