Personal and undiluted views
Camden Council

17 days ago

Zebra Crossing rooted to the bottom of the pyramid of victimhood: all hail the Trans crossing

A zebra crossing is black and white so I guess it is multicultural. But guide dogs know what it is and so it saves lives both of blind people and of kids who want to cross the road. But this is 2021. So it is not enough. First there was the LGBT crossing. Okay it was very expensive and totally confused the guide dogs so was a pointless virtue signalling health hazard. But the wider LGBTQ community is only so far up the pyramid, we can do better. and so to Camden Council in London which, as is the wont of such bodies, pays its senior staff mouth watering saleries but bleats endlessly about how front line services are having to be slashed back because of cuts in Government funding made by the evil Tories. As you can see below, Camden does have money for some vital projects…

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3039 days ago

Do you have an ashtray? Er…

It was late in the evening at Real Man Pizza in Clerkenwell and another hectic day at our quirky Celtic Italian restaurant was drawing to a close when this couple wandered in. They ordered and then asked if they could sit outside. Sure – no problem. And then the bloke asked for an ashtray!

How very European. When the smoking ban came in we, like all bars and restaurants, got rid of our ashtrays. Keeping hold of them would in today’s puritan climate be like stashing hard corn porn behind the counter. I may be a smoker but I have to accept that I am a filthy, disgusting human being guilty of the greatest crime on this planet.

And so when folks smoke outside Real Man they just drop the butts on the pavement. Camden Council pisses away thousands of quid a week sending round vans with posters saying that if you drop a butt on the street you can get fined £80 or whatever but that is what folks do. Because in Aitstrip One ashtrays are just another relic of the 20th century.

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3227 days ago

Camden Council hates me

I am sitting in Real Man Pizza Company trying to catch up on my writing backlog before heading to Paddington and yet again the bastards at Camden Council have sent little men to dig upo the road outside our door. The drill is incredibly load. You would think there was gold buried on Clerkenwell Road as this is about the tenth time in two years that a small patch of tarmac has been dug up and resurfaced. I am assured that the racket will end soon but what is the point? Perhaps it is a cunning job creation scheme where Camden pays men overtime rates at weekends to dig up the same few square metres, resurface and then dig up again every few months.

I have no idea. I just feel that Camden Council hates me. Why can’t they go and plague some of the other restaurants around here and drive away their customers for a change? I am promised the pain will within an hour or so. Meanwhile I have turned the music up full blast so poor Aldo is suffering a CD Punk Compilation 2 prepared by my friend Paul in the IOM and which we play on Monday evenings as well as the drilling.

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