6 days ago
Today is not only Joshua’s Birthday but also 100 days to Christmas and also Dydd Owain Glyndwr Hapus!. So I am busy cake making. Maybe a picture later after I burn my own house down in honour of the last Welsh Prince of Wales. In the podcast I discuss naughty corporate brokers, Optibiotix (OPTI) and Novacyt (NCYT)
31 days ago
I know that some of you are sceptical about my chances of getting lucky with Britain’s leading chanteuse but it seems that many of you think that my chances are improving. I refer you to the poll I ran last night on when Chill Brands (CHLL), formerly the fraud known as Zoetic (ZOE) would finally publish its results. The top answer…
94 days ago
The country is drowning in debt. The Government is running a record deficit so adding to that debt, a burden for all of us as taxpayers and our kids and their kids. So what does Tory MP Joy Morrisey suggest? Yes! Another scheme of such mind-numbing pointlessness for the Government to spunk other folks’ cash on. It is so pointless, it is almost as if this was a contest to fund the most appalling use of taxpayers’ cash and Joy was determined to win. To think that we are paying Joy an MP’s bloated salary and, inter alia, on her expense claims, the cost of a TV license and a packet of face masks, to come up with ideas like this.
130 days ago
If Clem Chambers manages to keep his job as boss of ADVFN (AFN) as Israeli brainbox Yair Tauman plans a boardroom clean out, it will only be because AIM dog Online Blockchain (OBC) owns 18% of ADVFN. And who runs Online? Er…Clem Chambers. Today, Online, which celebrates its 25th birthday next week having racked up more than £5.5 million in losses and has less chance of making a profit than I have of shagging Cheryl Cole, for this week at least, has news. Wait for it…
143 days ago
Yesterday, I established that the revenues booked and boasted about by the fraud [email protected] Capital (SYME) were fantasy. Not my thoughts about Cheryl Cole fantasy, but the stuff of real make believe. So if revenues do not really exist how come Supply has not suffered a crash landing in tits up alley yet? Read on…
217 days ago
I start the Mrs and George Orwell then with the podcast that went live today with me as the guest, not of Cheryl Cole or Princess Anne as was suggested, but of James Delingpole and it is – I think – very entertaining. Then to the final vindication of 2 big exposes from October 2019 HERE and HERE. these both show the failings of the FCA and I compare and contrast whistleblowing to the floor shitters with whistleblowing to the SEC which I did today re the fraud Zoetic International (ZOE)
240 days ago
We know from yesterday released audited 2019 results that as at this week [email protected] Capital (SYME) has still not signed one contract with a customer and has no cash with which to service any customers. Yes it has provided term sheets but that is not the same thing. I might well provide a term sheet to Cheryl Cole later today about a servicing proposition I have. But that, I am sad to say, would not be a binding contract! And without a contract or even a purchase order you simply, as a PLC, cannot book any revenues. Which brings us to today’s release of half calendar year 2020 results from the con that is [email protected] Capital.
257 days ago
If only because this is another opportunity to gaze at a photo of Britain’s most talented chanteuse, it is time for the result of the Cheryl Cole Rover’s Return caption contest yesterday. Some of you have minds like sewers and many of you followed a predictable theme in supplying captions for the photo below.
261 days ago
I am asked for where we are with Big Sofa (BST). As you may know, it delisted last April saying PLC costs were not worth it. It then raised £1 million at 3p a share in October so how is it doing? I hope that it is making its way towards profitability and a trade sale. Just as I hope that Cheryl Cole has something special for me for my birthday next week. But in both cases I think it is sensible to plan for the the outcome not being entirely as one might have wished. Anyhow Big Sofa has sent a missive to some of its shareholders, some folks being more equal than others. So for those of you plebs who did not receive an update on trading, here it is.
266 days ago
Have I judged Oisin Fanning of San Leon (SLE) by a different standard to, say, Neill Ricketts of Versarien (VRS)? Sure. Would I not judge, for instance, Cheryl Cole by a different standard in the looks department than, say, Diane Abbott? Yes I would. And I bet Cheryl is also better at singing, counting and more or less everything else than Ms Abbott too. Management is key to it all in the world of investing as I discuss today.
299 days ago
You may remember that at Manchester Airport we met up with our friends from the Mani, the Guardian-reading, lunatic, mask jihadists L&G. They assured us that when arriving in Greece, they would be isolating in order not to spread any British germs to the Mani and so it was a while before we saw them, in a socially distanced manner, in the Kambos restaurant formerly known as Mirandas. They are a thirsty couple and, even from a distance, conversation flows freely.
371 days ago
Of course there really is more chance of me shagging Cheryl Cole than of this happening. But let’s hope for it anyway. How many of the current wave of enthusiastic shareholders who piled in to the grossly misleading announcements starting on September 10 understand that there could still be much more share dilution still to come? There are three separate financing instruments under which Iconic (ICON) can be required to issue shares for and they are as follows:
398 days ago
London Millionaire liberal elitist, our own in-house Euro Loon Jonathan Price, faces house, or should I say mansion, arrest within days. About bloody time. I joke with him on email but I am not sure he sees the funny side. After that digression I discuss Red Rock Resources (RRR) – do you believe Andrew Bell? – Amigo (AMGO), Sunrise Resources (SRES), Cobra Resources (COBR) and the very odd price movement at joke company Anglesey Mining (AYM). Cheryl Cole gets two mentions in this podcast
411 days ago
On Thursday, I published a letter, now confirmed as genuine, from the Government of the Republic of Congo saying that Zenith Energy (ZEN) had lost its sole asset, Tilapia on June 4, something it failed to disclose to investors as it secured more funding. Still, Zenith and its newly appointed adviser, Allenby Capital, have failed to address this. Instead, we have a statement on a Cheryl Cole type deal. Let me explain.
464 days ago
I start with a few words on the summer weather here in Wales. then it is on to Big Sofa (BST). Then onto a few words about Neill Ricketts, Versarien (VRS), Rolls Royce (RR.), me, Cheryl Cole and the company’s latest promo video HERE. Finally, onto Wirecard a German Norfolk which tests the Roger Lawson thesis on how to deal with short sellers to destruction as it implodes.
512 days ago
I am absolutely exhausted. Recording videos is pretty draining. You have to remember not to pick your nose and to be alert at all times and right now I am recording four or five a day plus bearcast. That is all for the ShareProphets Shares Conference where, I promise, you will be dazzled by the content so BOOK YOUR TICKET NOW HERE!!! In today’s podcast I discuss Big Sofa (BST), Shell (RDSB), ValiRx (VAL), Catenae (CTEA) and James “Dracula” Parsons, Cheryl Cole and Ascent Resources (AST). Suffice to say only one of that trio excites me in any way.
518 days ago
With olther folks cash, Neil Woodford was a big fan. The company has missed all its targets to date. Even now, having belatedly slashed costs, Xeros (XSG), the company founded to disrupt the world of washing machines, does not expect break even until Q2 2022. What could possibly go wrong? I reckon there is more chance of me shagging Cheryl Cole by Q2 2022 than of this company reaching breakeven by 2022 but we shall see. Anyhow if you are tempted, not by Cheryl – that is a given – but by Xeros here is your chance.
557 days ago
Okay most listed oil stocks are heading for zero. You don’t need the brains of Cheryl Cole, sorry I meant Lloyd George, to realise that ceteris paribus most of the sector is fecked. But surely, Sound Energy (SOU), once valued at c£800 million, is toast and the last rites will be read soon.
570 days ago
Nope, this is nothing to do with Cheryl Cole. Instead the chart below is intended to show how obsessed I am with the Versarien (VRS) car crash. The chart was published before today’s shock warning and aims to show that I am obsessed or desperate and thus to be ignored. I fear those who have ignored me are rather poorer as a result. But fear not morons, when you have lost all your money and Versarien has been booted off AIM, a then 100% vindicated Sheriff will cease coverage… meanwhile I bet Neill Rocketts is glad he sold so many shares even if he was not 100% honest about the reason!
617 days ago
The PR person for Plutus Powergen (PPG) is the Cheryl Cole of her world, but even more classy. But not even her charms can save her client from more comment from myself, notwithstanding appeals from head honcho James Longley that I remove prior, harsh but accurate comment HERE.
630 days ago
I start and end the podcast defending the editorial style and approach of this website, based as it is on free speech and on nailing crooks, from two seperate attacks. In between I enter the raging Hurricane Energy (HUR( battle with my own, balanced and detailed, thoughts and comment en passant on the big news today: Malcolm Stacey’s severe case of #TrumpDerangementSyndrome and the real shocker, the terrible news about Cheryl Cole.
661 days ago
I reply to a listener who blames yesterday’s lack of bearcast on my thoughts shifting away from Ms Cole to this young olive harvester - such a suggestion is almost defamatory. Then it is on to Dignity (DTY), St James Place (STJ) and – in some detail – the very naughty boys at Iconic (ICON), led by toxic Dave Sefton and why the two NEDS walked today.
671 days ago
Or maybe I am just misreading the data?
685 days ago
For some reason, Britain’s most disgraced fund manager held this AIM dog in his Equity Income Fund though the chances of it paying a dividend made my chances of getting lucky with Cheryl Cole look like a nailed down sure fire certainty. Today there is another body blow, clinical failure, but the real issue, if you do the maths, is looming insolvency.
699 days ago
You think that Justin the Clown at Pox Markets and Proactive are there to help you? Think again. He who pays the piper…I reference Bidstack (BIDS) and Big Dish (DISH) in this part of the show. I discuss Dev Clever’s (DEV) “news” today with reference to Cheryl Cole, look at the accounting mess at PureCircle (PURE) and have a few thoughts on the trading statement from Sosandar (SOS) where I am really not tempted to leap back in again.
703 days ago
As you can see below, Joshua watched Panorama on Neil Woodford avidly. He liked seeing me but had a major gripe. I reflect on the show. I look at the bonkers boss of you cannot be Sirius Minerals (SXX) and at his company and then on to the latest “news” on Horse Hill from UK Oil & Gas (UKOG) and, yes, Britain’s most talented chanteuse is relevant.
720 days ago
In today’s podcast I discuss the ominous silence from Brady (BRY), dare to disagree with Chris “three brains” Bailey on SIG (SHI), look at Bidstack (BIDS) and consider the, incomplete, Q3 trading statement from Audioboom (BOOM), pondering when its next bailout placing will be.
862 days ago
Today’s bearcast is a full report on the AGM of Neil Woodford’s Woodford Patient Capital Trust (WPCT) which I’d score as a win for me against the great fund manager and his chairman Susan Searle. I did manage to get Cheryl Cole into the debate and I did ask Neil woodford to donate to rogue bloggers for Woodlarks, as you can do here,, but I also took the board to task on a number of other matters and managed to get Neil pretty riled. Happy days.
941 days ago
Please remember that i do occassionally lapse into Parody thus while the first few minutes of this podcast concern the nation's sweetheart and most talented chanteuse, my real concern is the scandal at Blue Jay Mining (BYAY) unearthed by today's RNS. I cover the role of shamed promoter Old Mother Michael Walters, disgraced broker John Meyer of SP Angel of the Mysquar (MYSQ) fraud shame and of course the company itself. There should be a full investigation and heads need to roll after almost two and a half years of the market being misled. If you enjoyed this podcast please support the EIGHT rogue bloggers for Woodlarks with a small donation HERE
972 days ago
In today's podcast there are repeated references to Cheryl Cole as I discuss Utilitywise (UTW), Sensyne Health (SENS), Neil "smug bastard" Woodford, Flybe (FLYB), Eqtec (EQT), Phontonstar Led (PSL), Active Energy (AEG) and Altona Resources (ANR)
1000 days ago
Nope Cheryl Cole is not mentioned. But plenty of other old faves including Quindell (QPP), Globo (GBO), MySquar (MYSQ), Julie "Lingerie on Expenses" Meyer, Big Sofa (BST), Wishbone (WSBN) and Neil Woodford are. There are six resolutions. The first concerns fitness and the walk for Woodlarks where I urge you to donate HERE
1056 days ago
I have got more chance of shagging Cheryl Cole than Rob Terry has of achieving a £1 billion flotation of his latest fraud but let us humour the old criminal and examine his plans for OS3 Digital Limited, formerly Knob Park Estate.
1777 days ago
By my maths Strat Aero (AERO) now has cash of er...about...roughly...sweet FA. It is completely out of cash and continues to burn cash and indeed when publishing results that were drowning in red ink on September 30th the management were reported as admitting that it needed to place before Christmas. I should cocoa. You don't need the brains of Cheryl Cole to work that one out.
1899 days ago
How on earth did hapless Nomad Peel Hunt sign off on what Jim Mellon's FastForward Innovations (FFWD) terms a "strategic update" but is in fact nothing more than a shameless pre placing ramp.? My comments are in bold. FastForward's are not.
1911 days ago
It looks as if shareholders will very soon hear the final grim news at Gulf Keystone (GKP). I first said sell at 180p and have been given grief all the way down. Folks can line up to apologise to me in an orderly queue. I discuss who is to blame and what happens next. Then it is onto the reason Brexit is not the real issue, there is an elephant in the room and its European but its on the other side of the channel. That takes me to the UK deficit, Cheryl and the cheerleaders and my stance on equities.
1940 days ago
Last time it was the slowdown in house prices. Today it is the fact that UK equities are not rocketing that Malcolm Stacey is blaming on Brexit fears. His fellow Guardian reading Euro loons blame Brexit for slowing UK economic growth while Dodgy Dave blames it for an increased chance of World War Three. Maybe it is Brexit that is causing Cheryl Cole not to head out to the Greek Hovel for a night of passion with me?.Bloody Boris, you bastard: it is all your fault that I am not playing jiggy wiggy with the UK's leading chanteuse tonight.
1954 days ago
George Osborne says UK house prices will fall by 18% if we vote for Brexit. At every single conceivable level he is talking bollocks. Even the lovely Cheryl Cole can testify to that as I explain in today's podcast.
2004 days ago
Conroy Gold (CGNR) has today put out a laughable release claiming that it is "targetting" 5 million ounces of gold at its deposits on the Irish/Ulster border. I, as you know, am still targeting getting up close and personal with Britain's most talented chanteuse but I've been on my quest a lot less long than Conroy has been, unlike the AIM tiddler I'm pursuing my quest with my own money and there is almost as much evidence to support my dreams as that of the AIM listed money cruncher. That is to say sweet FA.
2035 days ago
In today's St David's Day podcast I wish my Welsh listeners a happy national day and - especially for you - discuss why sheep porn matters. I then move onto Horse Hill and today's news and why Ben Turney and the other silly rampers are talking shit. To make it simple, I use the analogy of Ms Cheryl Cole and Mr Wayne Rooney. I discuss African Potash (AFPO), letters of credit and thus Environmental Recycling (ENRT) and its fellow FRAUD Eden Research (EDEN). Its PR man Queenie McManus is - I assume - still smearing me as he chats to his pals the Bulletin Board Morons - but the company refuses to meet for an interview. What - other than fraud - is it hiding? I discuss Greka Drilling (GDL) as it heads down the pan and - after today's results from Barclays (BARC) - banks in general and why Old Getafix is wrong to be such a bull.
2056 days ago
Just a reminder that it is Shrove Tuesday or, as younger folks might say, Pancake Day. Next up I shall be asking what you are giving up for Lent? I shall be giving up expressing my undiluted admiration for Britain's leading chanteuse Ms Cheryl Cole. Back to shares and I discuss what is real asset backing and what is it worth with relation to Allied Minds (ALM) and Cambian (CMBN) and a piss poor trading statement from Tungsten (TUNG). I express some displeasure with MX Oil (MXO), now off any buy list, and then move onto Servision (SEV) which is heading to where Motive TV (MTV) is now - off another 50% at 0.00p
2086 days ago
Before the FA Cup 3rd round tie against Wolves yesterday there were two big calls. Once again TV pundit Lauro called out West Ham to lose in one of the day's big upsets. Happily Lauro was once again wrong. The other big call was from our relatively new manager Slaven Bilic who said that he'd rather win the FA Cup than finish in the top four of the Premiership so ensuring Champions League football next year at the Olympic Stadium. These are not the sort of words long term Hammers are used to hearing.
2125 days ago
It is short podcast time as I am having issued sending material back to the UK. The Albanians did not turn up today so the olive harvest is delayed by 24 hours. It may be delayed again if I have to head to Athens on Global Shorting Conspiracy business. Things are starting to get interesting as I mention briefly and this is NOT Globo (GBO). Elsewhere I cover Edenville (EDL), Gulf Keystone (GKP), Sweet Group (CSG), Atlantic Coal (ATC), Iofina (IOF) and African Potash (AFPO). Warning: this podcast contains bad language and rather too many references to Britain's most talented chanteuse Ms Cheryl Cole.
2128 days ago
I am attracted to stunning women. My wife and, obviously, Cheryl Cole. Evil Knievil is attracted to fine wines. In fact to any wines. And it seems as if pouting ex Sefton Resources (SER) FD Raylene Whitford is attracted to overvalued cash strapped POS AIM listed oil Companies.
2139 days ago
Market abuser Chris Oil seems attracted to lobster pot stockmarket disasters in the way that I am drawn to Cheryl Cole. It is fascinating to watch car crash after car crash for the little twerp. Following on from Sefton (upping his stake to 13%) just before delisting, Lenigas Cuba (CUBA) – nuff said – now we have Mkango Resources. This train wreck hits AIM on December 2nd.
2419 days ago
The good news: Worthington's lawyers letter issued today is not from Pinsent Masons and so as per my deal with God earlier I can carry on drinking, swearing and thinking about Cheryl Cole. In short: the letter has arrived and I shall see you in short bitchez! I am not a man for backing down. The bad news, my critics have anounced they will smear my 78 year old Dad as well as me. I feel a bit of white rage coming on here. At a company level I discuss Trap Oil, Gulf Keystone and Tangent Communications.
To support our continuing campaign against fraud on the AIM casino (but also main market listed frauds) click HERE
2459 days ago
On my first night at the Greek Hovel I wandered into town to watch the World Cup Final. As you may remember I was the only person present supporting the Krauts against the Argies and this drew particular disapproval from one man wearing the heavy moustache one would associate with a Maniot warrior of old. That man was Nicho.
By the end of the summer we were firm friends. He speaks English and is the life and soul of the Kourounis tavern run by the lovely Eleni. The young men call him Papou (grandfather) but respect him as a chap who can drink them under the table, happily do a Greek dance – after half a bottle of whisky – but also be deadly serious.
As the only English speaker bar Eleni he is a conduit for me to wider world. His main job is with an organic food form headquartered in Athens. But he can work remotely and one imagines that business is not exactly booming and so he has plenty of time for more important things such as growing olives.
You will remember that an olive tree is viewed as a being like a beautiful woman who must be treasured and cared for. And Nicho owns a 500 year old specimen which in Kambos terms is like saying that you have Cheryl Cole waiting for you at home lying in a state of undress on your bed.
2476 days ago
I have pointed out numerous times that GXG listed US Oil & Gas (USOP) is a worthless POS with joke assets run by liars. Just check the archives on ShareProphets. Wee Brian McDonnell has served up a Christmas treat for us all with an announcement from GXG that trading in the shares has been suspended because of a disorderly market. FFS
Getting suspended on GXG is almost impossible. It is like managing to get defeated in a Mensa test by Cheryl Cole. But somehow US Oil has managed it.
US Oil & Gas’s London adviser Alexander David Securites ( who I have warned about this POS so have only themselves to blame for the reputational damage they now suffer) told me in a rather po faced manner
2477 days ago
I am not thinking of divorcing the Mrs but if I were I might start with X-Factor. In my single days the cats and I used to watch DVDs of Inspector Morse or, as a real treat, The Sweeney or Foyle. These days the Mrs is the only one smart enough to work out how to use the three remote controls needed to work her ultra-modern TV. As such she has power and that means that the cats have to watch the X-Factor.
To show solidarity with the suffering felines I have occasionally wandered in and, I confess, have become quite hooked as a range of chavs strut their stuff on stage. Of course the real stars of this lack of talent show are the judges, uber-camp Louis Walsh who is nice to everyone, Britain’s leading chanteuse and intellectual heavyweight Ms Cheryl Cole, or whatever she is called these days, an old spice hag and the waspish plutocrat and brains behind this money making machine Simon Cowell.
Watching is, I admit, pretty embarrassing but as we sat glued to Saturday’s final part one the Mrs grabbed her phone. Who are you texting? I asked. “I’m not – I’m voting for Fleur East.” The Mrs had listened to host Dermot and knew that her vote (cost £1.50) really mattered. Ching Ching. More money from Mr Cowell. It got worse…
2666 days ago
Quindell (QPP) has today updated its shareholders on its plans for a Full Listing. The statement is weak, begs questions and was only prompted by me and others asking questions. I know that Rob Terry, the Quindell PR bimbos and his other advisors are keen readers of this website and I am glad that they have tried to answer a valid question raised here.
As a reminder Quindell stated on 31st March that it would submit a full listing application to the UKLA in mid-April targeting a listing before the FTSE Indices Review (4th June). As per AIM Rule 41 that implies getting the application approved by 20 business days before 4th June, i.e. 7th May. As I explained in my video of Friday HERE based on the normal iterative process of three submissions of a prospectus that was achievable.
But we still have no Rule 41 announcement which means that as of today (9th June) no approval has been given. So Quindell is a month behind schedule which means that the UKLA MUST HAVE flagged up issues with the document. And Quindell tacitly admits that today with a statement:
2823 days ago
I have noted before that the way that AIM Cesspit listed Ukrainian dairy products group Ukrproduct (UKR) announces bad news smells like a six week old pot of cream left in the baking sunlight of the Steppe in August. And so as 90% of share-watchers enjoy their last day off, the company has slipped out another dire trading statement.
You can read my comments on the curious way this company announces the departure of directors, all signed off as kosher by corporate adviser Mr Dick, HERE
Today’s statement confirms what we all suspected. EBITDA for 2013 will be sharply down on 2012. Blame higher milk prices, ripples in the soft cheese market, whatever – it is hard to imagine that doing business in the Ukraine right now is that much fun.
Worse still the heavy debt this company now carries means that the I (for Interest) number has gone up sharply. So what is the bottom line number (i.e. Profit before tax) going to be? I refer to today’s statement.
“Net income will be impaired by the sizeable increase in interest charges arising from the EBRD loan leading to the negative net profitability for the year.”
Put another way this company is loss making. It blathers on about how it “plans to return to positive profitability in 2014.”
You know what? I have made plans for 2014. After watching West Ham lift the Premiership trophy on the final day of the season following a five month run of 3 points from every game with Carlton Cole scoring hat-tricks every match, I am off on a one week romantic break with Cheryl Cole in the West Indies. I cannot wait. Neither, I am sure, can Carlton and Cheryl.
2867 days ago
Sooner or later every Grim Northern Shit Hole will be named the UK City of Culture. Glasgow, a City noted for its obesity epidemic and religious bigotry but little else of note since 1945, has held the title. Liverpool where 95% of the population are on welfare or are habitual thieves has also been a City of Culture. And so it is only natural that Hull should get its turn in 2017 fighting off fierce competition from other post-industrial wastelands where folks have an average IQ of less than the X-factor audience: Dundee, Leicester and Swansea.
The poet Philip Larkin, although born in Coventry, made Hull his home. But he died in 1985. Since then Hull has given us er ……um.
The town is also the birthplace of actress Maureen Lipman (everyone’s fave North London Jewish granny) and of Geneses P-Orridge, the artist who came to fame in the 1970s with a vast sculpture made of Tampax boxes. The group Atomic Kitten performed there last year.
Hull is indeed a worthy winner (after heavy taxpayer funded lobbying from its local council) of this prestigious title.
Well done Hull. For 2018 nominations are now open. It strikes me that with its cultural quarter Stoke is too classy to win so how about a short list of Rotherham (famed for its child snatching, must be some literary trail there), Newcastle ( birthplace of the UK’s most talented chanteuse, Ms Cheryl Cole) and Sheffield which brought us Joe Elliot, the literary and poetic genius behind Def Leppard. All three councils can then spend taxpayers cash enthusiastically to lobby to follow in the footsteps of Hull.
2874 days ago
I know, I know. It is Chav TV par excellence. It is utterly moronic. The audience bay like those demanding death at the Coliseum and has a collective IQ of 17. The whole thing is truly frightful and I am truly ashamed to admit it but, late in life, I have become hooked.
There is drama. I kind of knew that Abi was toast on Sunday, she gave a weak performance the day before and though a sweet girl from somewhere in the Grim North she did not have the X factor. But there was drama none the less as she entered a sing off with Hannah, a girl who cannot articulate a single word properly. Surely she has to go soon?
All the contestants bar 1 seem to come either from the Grim North or Essex or South London. A few of them can speak proper English. And, dare I say it, some of them seem quite good at singing.
The real appeal is the Judges. American Nicole is truly ghastly and makes the audience seem like a collection of Nobel Prize winners. But there is something endearing in quite how thick and shallow she is. It goes without saying that no-one could be a patch on the UK’s leading chanteuse Ms Cheryl Cole.
The rather camp Louis Walsh seems like a nice man although I am not sure that he would be my first pick for the pub quiz team. Sharon O. is almost as ghastly as Nicole in a rougher, older manner. And she is not as thick as the American. No-one is as thick as Nicole. If you had a gap in your pub quiz team and had to choose between Nicole and a loaf of bread, you’d go for the loaf any day.
However, Gary Barlow is just a class act. He is witty and cutting, kind and cruel and, compared to everyone else involved in this spectacle, he is an intellectual colossus.
So I am hooked on the chaviest most low-grade junk TV going. I really cannot think of any more of a guilty confession to make. But I felt I should come clean.
2934 days ago
I watched the first half of today’s 0-0 draw away at Southampton on the box. Two howling errors by James Collins in defence, a magnificent Jussi keeping us in the game and more chance of the BBC enjoying a sex scandal free week than of West Ham actually scoring. I gather that in the second half it was much the same with the only difference being the failure of Collins not in defence but at the other end failing to put away an easy chance provided by Mark Noble.
But it may be harsh to pick on the Ginger Pele. West Ham’s most telling statistic is shots on goal in four Premiership starts. In the first game against Cardiff we had four and scored twice. In the three games since then we have managed just two shots on goal. Maiga and Vaz Te could not score in a brothel. Frankly my cat or, even James Collins, are more likely to find the back of the net in the Premiership.
We are told that Croatian Fulham reject Petric and Carlton Cole are honing their fitness and should be ready soon while we all pray that Andy Carroll recovers tomorrow but big girl's blouse that he is, he will not. After today’s dismal showing by our first choice fit strikers I do not care if Carlton Cole is slower than Cheryl Cole, play him anyway.
Ok. Petric might be over the hill and not good enough for Fulham and only half fit but at least he knows where the goal is. I know Geoff Hurst attends most games at Upton Park. He might be 70 odd but I wonder if he still has a spare pair of boots... has anyone called Tony Cottee to see if he fancies a game? My mate Barry Jenkins might be 50 and smokes 20 a day but he says that he scored a few goals in his time playing on Hackney marshes and he already owns a collection of West Ham tops so the club only need provide him with shorts and socks and he'll be available for the Everton game. Any other ideas?
2 shots on goal in the last 285 minutes of football (inc stoppage time)...
2955 days ago
City law firm Pinsent Masons played its part in the Sefton dirty tricks campaign against Dan Levi and me with its infamous letter to the FSA trying to stop me writing about shares. To protect its bent client it tried (and failed) to deprive me of a living. And it then (at great expense to Sefton shareholders) tried to bully me in the libel courts. As such you might understand why I am not its greatest fan.
Pinsents tried to destroy me on its chosen playing field (the law). It failed. Now the rematch is set to take place on my chosen playing field – the internet and new media.
Pinsents disgraceful behaviour is now all over the internet. Those responsible for its new media promotion cannot be enjoying what they read. Its role in the Sefton scandal is now laid bare and my triumphant visit to its luxurious office with a glass of champagne is now a well watched video. The Times newspaper mentioned it in full and Pinsents must be squirming.
But still the fuckers will not withdraw their law suit (which they admit is in tatters). Still there is no apology. I am not asking senior partner Chris Mullen (hey Chris you now feature in google searches alongside a pic of a scantily clad Cheryl Cole which is not pornography and the word fraudster thanks to liar and fraudster Jim Ellerton) to come and grovel personally. But Chris, you could send along a few of the other partners to buy me a slap up dinner at RMPC or just write a public letter of apology.
Oh shite, Chris now appears on google searches next to the word pornography. Welcome Pinsent Masons to my chosen battleground of new media.
Meanwhile I know Pinsent Masons has spent a great deal of effort building up its twitter presence so if you are bored just head off to @pinsentmasons find any one of its worthy tweets and draft a suitable reply. As an example earlier today I found a tweet from PM
Financial firms to set targets for female board members - Linda Jones of @PinsentMasons talks to @BBCNews http://bbc.in/13cGpRN #ukemplaw
So naturally I replied (including both @pinsentmasons and @bbcnews)
@PinsentMasons @BBCNews how about as a priority ensuring boards do not have contain crooks like Pinsents star client Sefton @TomWinnifrith
If you having nothing else better to do this weekend, feel free to go and tweet a reply to one of the numerous dreary tweets sent out by Pinsents and bring some life to its twitter feed. I am sure that they will appreciate the gesture.
3045 days ago
The official first birthday of this website is June 2nd. That was the day that the first article appeared. As it happens this is article number 3,248. There is a bit of a cheat in there as links to our required reading count as an article but none the less the output has been pretty heavy on a consistent basis. However it was exactly a year ago today that the domain TomWinnifrith.com was registered.
It took a few days to cobble together the first version of this site. Hence the slow build up to the official birthday party. But none the less what was then a therapeutic distraction for me begun 365 days ago.
I shall try to think of a fitting way to mark the anniversary. Perhaps I should reveal which CEO of a listed company has hookers in Hong Kong down as a business expense? Maybe not. a) his wife might be reading and b) I am not sure I can stand it up although I know it to be true. Anyhow I shall try to plan something enjoyable. For me and you, dear readers, anyway.
So in the build up to the first birthday party, once again thank you for continuing to read in ever greater numbers.
PS Just for PR Prude Kay Larsen of College Group who is one of those who have made the past year such fun I attach to this article a picture of Britain's most talented chanteuse Ms Cheryl Cole. For you Kay...
3102 days ago
There is so much I could have covered in this week’s caption contest but somehow the spark of interest is missing. I cannot think of anything at all funny to say and so I was tempted not to run a contest at all but with no prize on offer I offer up the following picture taken, I gather in Wales. In honour of PR prude Kay Larsen of College Group PR who thinks that she has the right to dictate exactly where her clients are covered and how, I offer up this picture.
For what it is worth my entry is:
Sheep One: I just want to talk about pornography
The ram in the middle: I just want to shag some sheep
3103 days ago
Well anything is possible. The uber talented chanteuse Ms Cheryl Cole could be walking down my street right now to ask me out for a hot date. Frankly that is more likely than Labour losing a seat that has never been anything but Labour. But miracles can happen. Hang on… there is someone at the door.
Pizza delivery. Wrong address. Not Cheryl. Drat.
The results last time were Labour 52%, Tory 22%, Lib Dems 14%, BNP 7%, others (not including UKIP 5%). Following Rotherham and the national trends my assumptions would be:
Various others including the BNP and the Lib Dems get 10% between them. The Lib Dems will come somewhere between 5th and 8th on another night of abject humiliation for Nick Clegg. The BNP will not achieve much. At least Clegg’s memory these days seems to be so poor when it comes to hearing painful news (Rennard, Huhne, Hancock) that he will soon be able to forget about leading his party to another electoral caning.
The Tory vote will slump. Call Me Dave has done his utmost to piss off traditional Tories (I am amazed that there were so many in South Shields, wherever it is, last time) and voters will tactically switch to the best placed party that might just run Labour close, i.e. UKIP. The Tories will get 10% of the vote ( + or – 3%). I suspect the – is more likely than the + - it will be a dire night for Call Me Dave as May 2nd also sees local elections in which the Tories will get thrashed. There will be stacks of very angry ex Tory councillors on May 3rd.
And so on the face of it, if the Labour vote held steady then that would see UKIP on 30% and Labour on 52%. But….
South Shields looks to be the sort of grim Northern shit hole that Labour takes for granted. Its voters there are working class and one suspects that their views on immigration, Europe and a range of other issues are not exactly the sort aired by Ed Miliband and his pals at Islington dinner parties. Besides which this by election is caused by Dave Miliband pissing off to New York to earn loads of wonga. Talk about treating your poor constituents with contempt. That makes the circumstances a touch unusual.
And so my guess is that there will be some shift from Labour to UKIP (as there was in Rotherham and Eastleigh) and also from Labour to “not voting at all as you are all wankers.”
UKIP has nothing to lose here. If it gets 30% and comes second (from nowhere) that is a triumph. But I have a sneaking feeling that it could do rather better than that. It is currently 17-1 to win and I am tempted to have a tiny flutter. Anything is possible. Hang on... is that the doorbell I hear ringing again?
3105 days ago
I do not actually have anything new to say about Avanti Communications (AVN) other than CEO David Williams must be very pleased about the rugby. However this is another client of bizarre PR bird Kay Larsen and so I just wanted to ensure that when she does a Google search on it and her the words pornography & sheep shagging (something that never happens in Williams’ homeland) and a picture of an attractive young lady come up.
Kay, this will now be the way for all your clients following your after lunch outburst yesterday on what you deemed pornography and sheep shagging and how YOU get to determine where your clients are covered and how
Today’s model is from the Sun. A publication College Group deals with every day.
3106 days ago
I do not actually have anything new to say about Imagination Technologies (IMG). I just wanted to ensure that when Kay Larsen does a google search on another of her clients, her after lunch outburst from today on what she deemed pornography and sheep shagging comes back to haunt her as this prudish PR bird sees another of her clients next to the sort of picture a serious journalist would never run. This time it is Miss Albania.
If you really would like to see some serious analysis on Imagination do not bother reading arse-licking journalists on the “serious financial press” as they know that it is Kay who decides how articles are written with what language and where they appear and with what image. The 4th Estate would not want to annoy the PR firms as one day they too might a well-paid job on the dark side. And you would not want to miss out on those spoon fed scoops would you?
3106 days ago
Some folks think that I am the lackey of bear raider Evil Knievil, writing to order to suit his needs. Au contraire. He does not work for me and vice versa and given how insufferable the old boy can be when he gets it right, I – like many – take a perverse pleasure when one of his short positions sees his financial toes roasted close to the fire. And online retail giant ASOS (LSE:ASC) has roasted Evil badly over the years. He has been short for much of its meteoric rise and he is still short with the shares at 3,334p – he will carry on getting burned.
I write this totally objective comment on ASOS even though it uses as its PR form College Group which I appear to be having a bit of a battle with as of this afternoon. To read about Kay Larsen PR prude at College Group PR, Pornography, Cheryl Cole, sheep shagging and Advanced Computer Software click HERE
Moving on from the prude to the bear. Cawkwell (that is to say Evil Knievil) has always been of the view that ASOS shares trade on too high a PE because at some stage the earnings growth rate will slip. So far it has not happened and I guess it will have cost him several hundreds of thousands of pounds. It will cost him more.
3106 days ago
For 24 hours I have been endeavouring to get hold of a broker note on a stock I first tipped at 14p and which is almost a quid now and which I have written about for four years. I wanted to post an update. I shall do so later today. The PR bird who looks after this account is a Ms. Kay Larsen at College Group PR. I have just had the most bizarre conversation with Kay who I tried to contact earlier but she was at lunch. Now it is 3.30 and she is back at her desk and this is bizarre. Evil thinks that Kay must be thick. I reckon that she is just on another planet. Anyhow…
Who will you be writing this for I was asked? Dunno. Probably ADVFN. Ok. I thought that was easy. But Kay drawled…
I have just done a Google search on you. Ok.
It seems that you wrote an article on my client on February 18th with a pornographic picture attached. Er… what…I checked it out and it was a picture of Ms Cheryl Cole (see above) revealing far less than is revealed on page 3 of the Sun every day. Does College Group boycott the Sun too I wonder? Er that is not pornography I stammered, it is Cheryl Cole, Britain’s most talented chanteuse. Kay disagrees. It is pornography she insisted.
Kay was not deterred. Her Google search led her to assert “And I see that you described a Welsh company as sheep shaggers.” Er not exactly, I tried to explain that IQE is based in a land where folks make jokes about sheep molestation but that I had written a full apology to the entire Welsh nation for making that link and I accept now that no-one in Wales has ever got familiar with a sheep.
Kay was not impressed. “It is not where we want to position our client” she insisted. The client, BTW, is Advanced Computer Software (ASW). Kay wants to position her client so that it is commented on by “serious financial journals” and regards my blog differently. Her “perception is otherwise”. It is all to do with the “way you position your blog.”
Okay so let’s get this straight: Kay will not co-operate with me unless I “reposition my blog” so that it follows her vision of what is “serious” with regard to the images I use and the language I use. Hmmmmm
3176 days ago
It is amazing what cobblers some folk spout. HMV (LSE:HMV) has gone bust. It follows hard on the heels of Jessops which headed to retail heaven earlier this week. Chuka Umunna, Labour’s Shadow Business Secretary, called HMV a “national institution” and described the news as “deeply worrying” Yeah right. What next Chuka? Blame it all on Margaret Thatcher or global warming? HMV is not a national institution it was a commercial enterprise that like British Leyland or coal mines in Yorkshire that had run out of coal was just past its sell by date. In the old days, cretins like Umunna would probably have called for a state subsidy. Now they just blame it on the Tories and wring their hands in a pathetic fashion. The demise of HMV was inevitable, it could not even be saved by soaraway sales of CDs by the UK’s leading chanteuse Ms Cheryl Cole.
3204 days ago
The Zoltavians are tweeting and frothing away on Bulletin Boards once again. This strange sect believe that a great Roman God will bring them great wealth if they buy shares in a company which, in my opinion, by any conventional measure is one of the most overvalued on AIM! I refer to Zoltav Resources (LSE:ZOL). Their hopes can be compared to my preparing a great meal for Saturday and stocking up at the chemist’s for other “items required” (nudge, nudge wink wink!) in the hope that my email asking Britain’s leading chanteuse, the delectable Ms Cheryl Cole, might secure me a hot date and a night of passion!!! It is just conceivable that the fragrant Ms Cole might drop everything and head round to Winnifrith towers for the night of her life but I concede that it is unlikely… As to Zoltav making folks cash if they buy at s share price of 3.425p, well that really defies belief.
3231 days ago
What is the hot and sexy word in the world of oil and gas right now? Shale deposits. They are going to transform the world as we know it and so any mention of the s word is bound to get investors licking their lips as if they had just been promised a sure fire night in the sack with the lovely Cheryl Cole. And so if you are a loss making company that needs to raise cash fast what do you do? Yes, issue an RNS headlining the word “shale.” You do not need to mention any pesky details like fees, revenues or cash, the “s” word will do, the shares will move ahead and you can get another placing away. This brings me to AIM listed joke company Vialogy (VIY)
3242 days ago
A Matter of principle – the frigging Google Puritans vs Doing What I want
I have thought about this long and hard. As you may have read on this blog here, Google for me to pay it to advertise this blog elsewhere on the world wide web (it wants my cash) but being a bunch hypocritical frigging puritans it will not allow advertisers who use its adsense network to advertise here because it reckons that this website promotes gambling and contains adult content.
And so I have a choice. I can take down pictures of the UK’s top chanteuse Ms Cheryl Cole in a partial state of undress and remove any elements of swear blogging on my site and take Google’s easy advertising money. Or I can leave the blog unaltered and rely on those who advertise outside the Google network to generate a few pennies.
3243 days ago
I detailed yesterday how the Google Puritans ranked this site as having adult content for reasons that I simply could not understand. As a result Google will not act as a reseller allowing advertisers who use its near monopolistic services to stick a banner on TomWinnifrith.com – I must rely on the support of independent companies who act away from the Puritans of Google to survive. And two such enterprises have already been in contact in the past 24 hours. But the hypocrisy of the utter tossers at Google got better overnight.
3244 days ago
We carry adverts on this site and I’d like to thank those companies who back us. But we also applied to run ads via Google and right now Google has just said that they will not because our content is unacceptable on two grounds: gambling and adult content. So we are ranked with the porn sites. This is laughable and my express wish this morning is that the puritans at Google burn in hell. Here’s why this is such a joke.
In its email Google states that
Currently, only Google ads that we classify as family-safe are available through the AdSense program. We’ve found adult content on your site.
3362 days ago
There are two big soccer stories today both of which make me fall a bit more out of love with a game that is now anything but beautiful. I start in Scotland with Rangers FC who have gone bust and have now been voted into the Scottish 3rd Division. This means three things. Firstly, Celtic will win everything for half a decade because (apart from the brief Fergie driven glory years of Aberdeen) Scotland has only got two decent teams. Secondly, tiny Scottish clubs will get a cash windfall for a few seasons when Rangers come to play them. And thirdly within a decade we will be back to the normal duopoly.
Who cares? Scottish club football has not got enough money. I know Celtic were the first British side to with the European Cup ( 1967) but for two decades Scottish League football has been a third rate affair. We used to joke about how Scottish goalkeepers were all useless. You can make the same joke about the other 10 players in any given Scottish team these days.
3400 days ago
It is a little known fact but Bobby Farrell (the bloke in Boney M) was not a very good singer. In fact it was not his voice on any of the group’s hit records. But he had the right looks for the age and so he whirled and twirled in all the videos. Sadly, in 2010, Farrell stopped whirling and twirling aged 61 as a result of a heart attack, suffered in St Petersburg. Ra Ra Rasputin, Russia’s Greatest Love machine etc etc etc.