72 days ago
The quest began on Monday, hence Malcolm’s absence in Sicily. He was promised an early start on Wednesday, but a day of disappointment followed. On Thursday, he was taken to a tree. So, how did this all conclude? His diarist explains…
74 days ago
The quest began on Monday, hence Malcolm’s absence in Sicily. He was promised an early start for Wednesday, but a day of disappointment followed. Perhaps, Thursday was more productive. His diarist explains…
83 days ago
The quest began yesterday, hence Malcolm’s absence in Sicily. Now events move on as his diarist explains…
84 days ago
I am off on my annual quest to find the magic money tree which I know exists and can solve all of the world’s problems. Just harvest the tree and Government debt will disappear. Then harvest it again and the government can give more money to everyone to help them deal with inflation. It is so simple. I just can’t see why Uncle Tom and other wicked Tories just don’t get it.
358 days ago
Forced to work in the kitchen by problems with my study ceiling, I am suffering BBC Radio 4, something the Mrs inflicts on me every morning as a punishment for being an evil capitalist. Today’s torture is listening to Positive Thinking presented by Sangita Myska, a “deep dive” into how to end fuel poverty. Natch all the guests agree on one solution with nobody at all challenging a narrative which is patently absurd. This show encapsulated all that is wrong with the BBC.
702 days ago
£30,000 a year for goose stepping around in a high visibility jacket telling the rest of us what we can or cannot do and where. What sort of person with small willy syndrome would want such a job? It seems there is no shortage of takers. Take this fellow.
857 days ago
It is so simple, I cannot think of why we have not gone down this route before. I hope this video explains why the Government’s response to Coronavirus is going to make us all rich.
1422 days ago
As you may have gathered last Tuesday, Malcolm’s long-suffering wife reckons that he has been spending too much time in The Punter’s Return and so has organised a holiday in Denmark, Sweden and Russia where Mr Stacey hopes to discover the magic money tree and an updated theme for his next novel. We left him about to catch a ferry from the egalitarian money free funded land of milk and honey that is Sweden and on his way to to Russia. Our senior reporter has now updated us on his progress since…
1428 days ago
Mrs Stacey says that I have been spending too much time in the Punter’s Return reading dull articles about shares and that we need a break. She says that I need inspiration for my next novel and so has suggested that we head off on one of those holidays advertised during Midsomer Murders for a more mature and sophisticated audience.
1590 days ago
It is five years since the death of Margaret Thatcher, our greatest ever Prime Minister. A couple of weeks later, with my friend Lucian Miers and tens of thousands of others, I stood in silence on Ludgate Hill as her coffin passed by on its way to St Pauls. As we celebrate her life, here's a short video for the snowflakes, Maggie explains that there is no such thing as public money. Don't rush off to find a safe space in which to cry, you pathetic bedwetters but the money tree really does not exist. Take a lesson on that from a woman who grew up in a room above a corner store enjoying almost none of the luxuries, handouts and "rights" that you take for granted.
1608 days ago
One of the big lies that our children are told in school and university and which the liberal media ram down our throats is that public sector workers are paid less than we folks in the productive sector and have had lower pay rises over the past few years. Those lies are exposed as lies with hard data as I did in my, Bath Spa lecture HERE, the "what happened next" story of which I will relay one day and which will horrify you. But the lie has worked. If enough folks repeat a lie often enough it becomes an Orwellian truth.
1609 days ago
My late ex father in law Iwan was consistently damning about the Assembly, which governs the Wales he loved with such fervour. He was a man who had grafted away all his life as builder and developer, risking his capital and working bloody hard to make a decent living for his family and along the way paying vast amounts of tax.
1729 days ago
I wandered up to the Greek Hovel this morning and saw, at once, that something was not quite right. Yes there were olives on the trees as you can see below but not vast numbers.
1744 days ago
The tweet below refers to the Paradise Papers not the Panama Papers but that is not the glaring error. The error is to say that austerity is caused by tax evasion. It is wrong on so many counts.
1785 days ago
On the Today programme this morning, overpaid presenter Michelle Hussein was at the Labour Party leaders rally, sorry I think it is called a party conference, in Brighton interviewing shadow minister John Ashcroft. It is not his platitudes that are of interest but one question she asked, from which I quote exactly:
1796 days ago
My pay has fallen by 14% thanks to austerity says another lardbucket public sector worker. The fake news channels report this as fact and pathetic Mrs May finds another money tree and prepares for public sector pay rises all round. So what if the deficit is £50 billion and going to rise? So what if the National Debt is already the largest Europe and rising? So what if inflation busting pay increases across the public sector will only fuel inflation so pushing up interest rates? Who cares? Well lets start with facts, the inconvenient truths that show how the lazy, overpaid bastards in the public sector who are lying to you about pay.
1807 days ago
As you may know, I hit the keys on my computer so hard that after a while the figures on them wear off. Then they become so damaged that they stop working altogether or only if you hit them repeatedly very hard. At that point hipster Marxist, the pizza hardman Darren Atwater, says "why don't you get a new Mac costing loads of moolah from the money tree?" and I go buy a new keyboard, which looks like what I have been using all my adult life, and plug it in. Joshua types like his Dad as you can see in the video below...
1825 days ago
Reading the Guardian letters page is not an ordeal I can bring myself to suffer even in the interests of research into the far reaches of the deranged mentality of public sector working, virtue signalling, elitist, money tree worshipping thought. Or what goes for it. But my father, a closet reactionary, is a loyal Guardian reader.
1844 days ago
The useless Tory Government has today announced it is to spend £200 million on a new package of measures to help rural England. Natch a good chunk of that is going on improving broadband speeds but the overall measures will, it is promised , create 6,000 jobs.
1849 days ago
Abi Wilkinson is a freelance journalist based in London writing about politics, inequality, gender, popular culture, and anything else that takes her fancy. She normally writes in the Guardian which likes articles about gender ( fluid, natch) and politics as long as they involve money tree worshipping and or/smashing the even half rich. Abi's latest piece really is peak stupidity in thus summer of left wing madness. Abi reckons that what we need is a 100% inheritance tax.
1851 days ago
With no real majority at Westminster, Mrs May's pathetic Tories are unable to push through any of the so many radical changes this country needs to make to avoid going bust. The chances of radical change on any issue that matters are zippo. Or so I believed. You thought that the useless Cons were out of big ideas? Think again. Today's Sunday Times reveals dramatic new proposals to tackle the needs of the transgender community. I just despair.
1852 days ago
As you can see in a tweet below from a regional organiser of the UNITE Trades Union, which bankrolls Labour, the vicious Tories are at it again, trying to raise the pension age. This is all because Tories hate those who are not so rich that they do not need a state pension. So bangs on the left in a post fact era chorus. So what are the facts?
1876 days ago
All journalists have opinions. None of us can be truly impartial as we have our own views and prejudices. If you are a columnist, that is to say you write opinion that is why you do what you do. The views of Polly Toynbee, George Monbiot and Owen Jones are well known. They are Big State money tree worshipping lefties and argue that line. On the other side Mark Steyn, Melanie Phillips or Peter Hitchens take a different tack. I do not hide my own libertarian take on life. But none of the above are reporting news and when doing that your prejudices do matter. You should bury your on news when reporting FACT.
1910 days ago
This is a human tragedy, it is a mass murder, the story is of shattered and broken lives. However there is still going to be a General Election on June 8 and it is a legitimate question: will this attack make an impact? The answer I suspect is that it will though folks may consider it tasteless to speculate about it, it cannot be ignored. Terror attacks are just not good news for Jeremy Corbyn.
2067 days ago
I thought it was a good name. Unusual and reminiscent of an era when Britain made things, was a truly prosperous nation and before we all demanded shelter from cradle to grave in the safe space underneath the great Money Tree. But the Mrs disagreed. And so our son is called Joshua not Ebenezer.
I saw a production of the Christmas Carol last week and poor old Scrooge got a really hard time. In the first party of the tale he is a hero, a wealth creator, a provider of employment, the sort of man we can all admire. Then those pesky ghosts arrive and in the space of a night they turn him into a Guardian reading liberal with a spine made of Jelly. The play ends with him giving Bob Cratchit a huge pay rise.
2069 days ago
Today is the annual Christmas party held by the Mrs for her mad lefty friends, a Godless bunch who regard Christmas as having nothing to do with Christ. The normal score is that I do the cooking then, to avoid being emboldened by a few glasses of wine into pointing out that whatever they are saying is patent nonsense, I feign illness and go to bed. Let them believe
2142 days ago
Naturally the surname is Winnifrith. None of this double barrelled nonsense in this household. But we have now decided on three Christian names...
2143 days ago
There are two parts to this bearcast. First I look at Government Debt and GDP over the past 8 years in the UK , France, the US and Greece and where all four are heading - it will startle those like Jeremy Corbyn, Chancellor Hammond and Malcolm Stacey who still believe in the money tree. Then I look at the great sell indicator that is a broker buy note and explain why.
2147 days ago
Seventy-five years ago, eighteen year old men and women were dealing with the Luftwaffe bombing our cities to oblivion, with death all around them and the stresses of war. Some had psychological stress but they were relatively rare and, frankly, who could blame them? Wind forward to today and 26% of 16-24 year old women report suffering at least one mental health issue a week. 9% of men suffer likewise. It is hard to know where to start.
2209 days ago
The poisonous midget and Jimmy Krankie lookalike Nicola Sturgeon is, this morning, spitting out her porridge as a poll shows that post Brexit most Scots want to stay part of the UK. Bugger. I was so much looking forward to the midget leading her nation of whinging welfare junkies to glorious independence. I am, perhaps, even more gutted than Jimmy Krankie by this news.
Like all humourless lefties,
2221 days ago
Nicola Sturgeon seems amazed that EU leaders are not lining up begging Scotland to join the Evil Empire as soon as possible. It has not dawned on her that, set to lose a major benefactor in form of the United Kingdom (in reality England plus the Celtic scroungers), the last thing it wants is to take back the welfare addicted nation of idlers that is Scotland. Heck the EU alread has the basket case that is the Real Greece why would it want the wannabee Greece of the North as well?
2243 days ago
Poisonous midget Nicola Sturgeon notes that Scotland voted to stay in the EU but that Britain voted out and so she is having another referendum on whether Scotland should leave the UK. We should pre-empt her and just boot it out now.
2301 days ago
The BBC News at Ten coverage of the elections to the costly waste of space that is the Welsh assembly is focussing on the economy. The big issue is apparently Steel and which party is going to spunk the most cash on part nationalising and subsidising an industry that will never ever make a cent in profit. But the BBC says there is an alternative view in the principality. Hooray. I look forward to Huw Edwards interviewing a real capitalist...but this is Wales.
The alternative view
2323 days ago
If you are prepared to swallow vast amounts of junk food you will probably swallow anything, even the hocus pocus policies of Labour and the SNP. Perhaps it is all those folks mainlining welfare payments as they sit on thair arses which explains the correlation but it is official: Labour and SNP voters are fat slobs as the map below demonstrates with Scottish nationalists being the biggest lardbuckets by a mile.
2444 days ago
Old Getafix is a good man and we agree on many things. But his article today HERE on oil and on how shares are cheap is just 100% wrong and I have to take the Money Tree worshipper to task on this.
2530 days ago
On Thursday night Malcolm Stacey attempted to gain entry to Jeremy Corbyn’s last campaign rally but was foiled and failed to meet the bearded one. Does that mean that his search for Corbyn’s Money Tree is at an end?
2532 days ago
Good news. The Quest is hotting up. Getafix is worried. His potions based on cuttings from the money tree do not seem to be working. Why are shares in Advanced Oncotherapy not at 50p despite being featured here twice a week? Why is the FTSE 100 not at 8,000 as predicted? Perhaps the Money Tree he has been using in the depths of the Welsh forest is a fake or has lost its powers. Fear not…for another old fool (sorry we meant respected druid) has emerged in North London and Malcolm seems to have tracked him down.
Comrade Jeremy Corbyn is a true believer in the Money Tree. And tonight the great man will be holding his last rally as he seeks to become leader of the Labour Party. The event is in Islington North London where almost everyone seems to believe in the Money Tree. Malcolm is heading to N1 as we speak to find this new mystic. Can Malcolm find him and will Corbyn reveal where he cuts twigs from his Money Tree… watch this space, Getafix is in hot pursuit.
2533 days ago
Getafix is worried. His potions based on cuttings from the money tree do not seem to be working. Why are shares in Advanced Oncotherapy not at 50p despite being featured here twice a week? Why is the FTSE 100 not at 8,000 as predicted? Perhaps the Money Tree he has been using in the depths of the Welsh forest is a fake or has lost its powers. Fear not…for another old fool (sorry we meant respected druid) has emerged in North London
Comrade Jeremy Corbyn is a true believer in the Money Tree. And so Malcolm Stacey has headed off to find this new mystic. The trouble is that Corbyn is elusive, rushing round the country speaking to massed crowds. Can Malcolm find him and will Corbyn reveal where he cuts twigs from his Money Tree… watch this space, Getafix is in hot pursuit.
2605 days ago
This morning my money tree worshipping comrade, the druid Getafix, aka Comrade Malcolm Stacey has written comments (HERE) about Tesco which are so completely insane that I have to respond. Quite simply, I can only assume that Malcolm took too much magic potion last night as he appears to be off with the fairies. Malcolm writes about Tesco:
2617 days ago
Earlier today Comrade Malcolm Stacey, our token money tree believer on this website, argued HERE that Greece would not go bust and that would cause shares to zoom higher. I am sorry to say that he is wrong on one if not both counts and explain why in this podcast.
2638 days ago
I wonder if it was his years at the BBC which saw my pal Comrade Malcolm Stacey infected with the mad lefty virus. Becuase the old Money Tree worshipper does talk some awful rot and today's column from him HERE is a classic. I feel forced to point out in the interests of balance why he is spouting total gibberish.
The old leftie states:
The new British government will continue austerity. Sadly, that is not good news for the less well off, but it won’t affect the wealthy very much. And it will bring the national debt down.
So the wicked Tories will continue austerity will they? I wish they would. In fact I wish they had started austerity five years ago but they have not. Government spending has risen year on year since 2010 under the wicked Tories and will continue to rise. Some austerity.
And it gets worse
2658 days ago
In the local elections my Tory candidate was a gent called Perry Hicks. He runs the local gym and with his slicked back hair looked like a gangster from the Kray area. I am sure that he is not a gangster but even if he is, he got my vote anyway. As you can see below my votes were straight down the line Tory and I see that both Tories lost.
Like Theo, my quite cute Tory candidate for Parliament, Mr Hicks seems to be a great money tree believer. His flyer
2750 days ago
My esteemed fried and colleague comrade Malcolm Stacey is nothing if not consistent. The great Money Tree worshipper is perennially bullish and once again that is his message today (HERE). But is the Footsie "flying?" I compare it to a 1916 Wisden and it is clearly not. And I point out why even if it breaches 7,000 there is every reason to be bearish rather than bullish.
2766 days ago
Like most of my family, Malcolm Stacey has a range of daft lefty opinions which see us disagree on a number of matters. He is a top bloke and we agree on a lot (busting financial fraud, immigration, etc), but I still have images of him sitting in Wales kneeling in prayer to the Money Tree and that brings us to Impellam (IPEL) which he wrote about on Saturday and where we half agree.
2768 days ago
After spending a total of four months at the Greek Hovel and holidaying in mighty Hellas perhaps twenty times in my life I still speak almost no Greek. It is shameful. But that ends tomorrow.
For my birthday the Mrs, who speaks good Greek and fluent Swedish as well as Northern English, has bought me five lessons. The teacher is recommended by none other than the ex wife of Red Trousers, the buffoonish money treee worshipping Mayor of Bristol. Lesson one is on skype and starts at 10.30 AM.
To the folks in Kambos...I am going to shock you all on my return on 18 Febuary.
2901 days ago
Andrew Bell of Red Rock Resources (RRR) and Regency Mines (RGM) like me started his life as an oil analyst. Bell is a Scot living in England and, I sense, supports the Union. As an English taxpayer I cannot pray hard enough for the welfare addicted Money Tree worshipping Greece of the North to vote for independence as I explain HERE. But Bell adds to the debate in a very well argued video showing how SNP assumptions about Scottish oil revenues are quite simply sheer fantasy.
3068 days ago
It is time for shocking revelations of shameful personal habits. Earlier today my colleague Malcolm Stacey came out as a reader of the turgid rag for crackpot deluded lefty social workers, teachers and other Money Tree believers – that is to say The Independent on Sunday. Malcolm then argued that he won’t invest in a company with an all-male board. Utter cobblers.
The Money Tree worshipping liberal left like to argue that the fact that 20% of FTSE 100 directors are birds is down to affirmative action campaigning and that if we had legally binding quotas then the birds would get a fair quota on PLC boards (50% I assume) and companies would be better run as a result. This is all so much shite.
The increase in female boardroom representation over the past two decades matches the increase in the number of female partners in City law firms, partners in big City accountants, etc. If anything we wicked capitalists have outperformed liberal bastions with all their affirmative action programmes in this respect. That is because we wicked capitalists care about the bottom line and thus promote on merit. If a woman is the best person for the job, will make more money for the firm than the man she gets the post.
Why are there not more women on PLC boards? Simple. Demographics, PLC boards
3086 days ago
The democratically elected President of Ukraine was a prize rotter but was ousted in a coup. The EU supported that coup because the old guy was not so keen on joining the warm embrace of the EU.
The Ukraine is bankrupt. It is set to default on its debts because a) its bloated Government spends too much, b) it was and probably still is run by crooks.
Large parts of the Ukraine do not want to join the EU. Sadly those large parts are generally the economically viable Russian speaking parts in the East. It is the unviable Western bits that wish to sign up to the joys of the EU. And, having prompted this mess with its meddling, the EU now wishes to send 11 billion Euro off out east. But hang on a sec? The EU has its own deficit. It has only just asked the UK to pony up an extra couple of billion quid to cover that black hole. Several of its existing members (Greece, Spain, Italy, etc) are themselves bust.
Where is this 11 billion coming from? The bloody Money Tree of course. That is to say taxpayers in the not yet bust EU countries now. And future generations of taxpayers in any EU country that is still solvent in years to come.
Grotesquely overpaid politicians love spending other folk’s cash and the EU serves up the worst offenders in this respect – step forward Cathy Ashton, for example. When will it learn its lesson: a) stop meddling outside the EU, b) sort out your own near-terminal problems before trying to fix those of others?
The EU fostered the coup and now wishes to send your cash to support a regime containing a good sprinkling of Jew hating neo-Nazis. It should instead be apologising, firing the lead meddlers and allowing Ukraine to go bust and market forces to work their magic.
Which country has done better since it faced bankruptcy Greece or Iceland. The former gets the EU bailouts, the crooks stay in charge and is still bust with its population facing economic Armageddon. The latter went bust, sent the crooks to gaol, reconstructed and is now the fastest growing economy in Europe.
I guess Ukraine wishes to follow the Greek model.
3136 days ago
The Scots it would appear have negotiated the deal of the Century with England for post-independence financial Armageddon. They get the freedom. The English get to pick up the tab.
The Scots would be able to set their own budgets, their own tax rates and spend as much as they want yet the English taxpayer c/o the Britsh ( or post independence English) Treasury has agreed to underwrite its debt. This is sheer insanity.
87% of Scots take from the State (in terms of services, welfare, etc.) more than they give. And thus Scotland has found itself with an electorate which things that austerity means deep fried mars bars all round on the State being cut back to only 6 days a week. Or only giving free cigarettes to Primary School Children only on alternate days.
Given that you have more chance of finding a heterosexual non child molester presenting a Top of the Pops edition from 1977 than you have of finding a Tory voter in Scotland, its three political parties that matter ( Labour, The Nationalist loons and the Lib Dems) are all committed to more spending and more tax but the ultimate funder is always seen as the great Money Tree.
Scottish economic policy and the prevailing ethos of a land that once gave us Adam Smith is akin only to Greece. Edinburgh is the Athens of the North.
And so post-independence
3253 days ago
Oh worship the Money Tree, Bow down to the Great Money Tree. Nick Clegg you really are a prize git of the highest order. Your suggestions that all kids under 8 should get a free school meal might grub a few votes from the more innumerate members of the electorate but at every level it shows you for the fool and clown that you are and your party as an ideologically incoherent mess.
We start with the Money Tree basics. The UK is running a vast budget deficit and is heavily in debt. It cannot afford another £600 million. We are going bust. What do the Lib Dem’s not understand about that? Wake up to bankrupt Britain folks.
Aaaaaaah but what about the starving kids?
3356 days ago
No winners from last week’s contest. Let’s hope for more inspired entries this week. And on that matter as I see I am being bashed on twitter for suggesting that we do not give EVEN more money to the world’s third largest employer because the UK Government has so much to spend I come to Mr Ed Balls, MP.
Apparently Ed reckons that the last Labour Government was not profligate and is now starting to outline his vision for how he will bankrupt Britain within five years starting 2015. Sorry, I meant to say: how he will like Gordon Brown be prudent and manage the Nation’s finances responsibly.
And so here is the picture. Post your entries in the comments section below by 9 AM next Friday.
For what it’s worth I am torn between
“Crook and bigot, Sir Patrick Mercer dreams about his remaining two years as an honourable member of parliament”
“Islamofascist Hate preacherAnjem Chowdary offers praise to the source of his £25,000 a year tax free lifestyle package”
“Ed Balls takes advice from Tom Winnifrith's deluded lefty partner and assures us that Labour’s spending plans are fully costed”
3392 days ago
Whatever you think of David Miliband he was articulate and he was clever. He was wrong on most matters but he had his plus points. I was horrified by the stupidity of the lard bucket who has succeeded him. More than half the voters cast in this contest were cast four weeks ago by post. They were organised by the established party machine in the seat (Labour) and so fell almost entirely for Labour. Those who actually voted on the day, voted for UKIP not this lard bucket. There is something very wrong with such a system but do not expect the established parties to change it.
That she has a strong Geordie accent is not a problem. So does the delightful Ms Cheryl Cole who – as we all know – can do no wrong. But this woman just uttered an incoherent stream of grammatically incorrect babble. She is thick. Asked by Sky TV if she was a Blairite or a Brownite she looked vacant. I am not sure I could explain the differences too clearly myself but then I am not a Labour MP. And so the lard bucket answered: I am a Labour party supporter. Well there’s a surprise.
Whet are her solutions to the Country’s ills? Er…shake that magic money tree. Spend, spend, spend. Great. What did the lard bucket do before this to give her such an acute grasp of economics? She was a social worker.
At that point I could take no more and flicked to another channel featuring another Labour supporter in the news…Mr Stewart Hall