1963 days ago
No doubt the whore blogger Malcolm “Fat Bastard” Graham Wood is preparing to pen rubbish about how Frontera (FRR) has solved all its cash issues in order to earn his Christmas bonus. But today’s statement from a company that is technically insolvent means nothing of the sort. The great Waseem Shakoor, who I have forgotten to ask about Newcastle’s 3-0 thrashing at home to the Mighty Hammers, nails it with the post below.
2422 days ago
"The grooming of girls in Newcastle is not an issue of race – it’s about misogyny" says Labour MP Chi Onwurha in today's Guardian. She continues "What’s worse, rape or racism? I found myself posing that question after the Operation Sanctuary investigation was finally made public, revealing horrific abuse of girls and vulnerable young women in Newcastle." What follows defies belief.
2432 days ago
A man who deserted West Ham as a player to "go to a bigger club" in the form of Everton should never have been our manager in the first place. Last season West Ham were dire and Slaven Bilic should have been fired after we stayed up only becuase some teams were even more dire than we were. Decisions such as keeping Randolph in goal rather than Adrian cost us our normal status of mid table mediocrity. having been saying Bilic out more or less since his appointment, I am at least conistent.
3752 days ago
My season tickets for my beloved West Ham go unused yet again. We lost 3-1 at home to Newcastle and were crap and should have lost by more. Fat Sam Allardyce has Horseface back from injury and we are still crap. I do not want to watch a game until he goes.
So instead, in the face of almost non-stop rain I have spent the afternoon nailing together railway sleepers, buying five bags of horse manure (no the real stuff not anything to do with what West Ham serve up these days) and five of earth hauling them up a steep hill from the most dreary garden centre in Christendom and then into my house and garden to create a herb bed.
A day spent dealing with horse manure, getting drenched in the rain, putting my back out and all to grow some herbs or an afternoon at Upton Park. Until Fat Sam goes it is a nil brainer.
3811 days ago
Sooner or later every Grim Northern Shit Hole will be named the UK City of Culture. Glasgow, a City noted for its obesity epidemic and religious bigotry but little else of note since 1945, has held the title. Liverpool where 95% of the population are on welfare or are habitual thieves has also been a City of Culture. And so it is only natural that Hull should get its turn in 2017 fighting off fierce competition from other post-industrial wastelands where folks have an average IQ of less than the X-factor audience: Dundee, Leicester and Swansea.
The poet Philip Larkin, although born in Coventry, made Hull his home. But he died in 1985. Since then Hull has given us er ……um.
The town is also the birthplace of actress Maureen Lipman (everyone’s fave North London Jewish granny) and of Geneses P-Orridge, the artist who came to fame in the 1970s with a vast sculpture made of Tampax boxes. The group Atomic Kitten performed there last year.
Hull is indeed a worthy winner (after heavy taxpayer funded lobbying from its local council) of this prestigious title.
Well done Hull. For 2018 nominations are now open. It strikes me that with its cultural quarter Stoke is too classy to win so how about a short list of Rotherham (famed for its child snatching, must be some literary trail there), Newcastle ( birthplace of the UK’s most talented chanteuse, Ms Cheryl Cole) and Sheffield which brought us Joe Elliot, the literary and poetic genius behind Def Leppard. All three councils can then spend taxpayers cash enthusiastically to lobby to follow in the footsteps of Hull.
4010 days ago
My football mad daughter and I were at the Arsenal game a few months ago and as the crowd chanted “with a packet of sweets and a cheeky smile, Arsene Wenger’s a paedophile” I dreaded the question “Daddy what is a paedophile?” Wenger is not a nonce as it happens but what would I say? “Er.. It is a sort of person who is often on the BBC.” I guess that is true.
Today’s game (a nil nil draw with Newcastle) was hardly a classic. The bloke two seats down shouted Cisse loudly as the Newcastle player ambled from the corner flag towards his goal (which is where my seat is). He was ignored. Cisse. Again ignored. Louder still came the shout Cisse at which point Mr Cisse looked up and got an instant shout of “Wanker!” from the bloke two seats down who regarded this as a win.
Former West Ham boss Alan Pardew manages Newcastle. Not for much longer one suspects as they will – at best – narrowly survive but I sense they may not. Pards left Upton Park amid, no doubted unfounded, rumours about his private life. And so within minutes of the opening whistle the rhythmic chat went up: “Alan Pardew shags who he wants, Alan Pardew shags who he wants.” After a few minutes of this the chant changed to “Alan, Alan give us a wave.” Mr Pardew obliged. The Trevor Brooking stand then started off with “He loves us more than you” at the Newcastle supporters. A few minutes later it was back to “Alan Pardew shags who he wants, etc.”
A couple more terms I am glad that I do not have to explain to my daughter.
With my record of having seen West Ham lose every time I have watched them this season broken and with the Irons now 100% safe from relegation I shall take my daughter to the last home game against Reading. “Going Down, going down” and “That’s why you’re going down” should not be too hard to explain.
4011 days ago
As fate would have it. Every West Ham game I have seen this season seems to have been a defeat. As such I head off from Clerkenwell to Upton Park this afternoon, taking along a Real Man Pizza Company loyal customer, with some trepidation.
Alan Pardew comes back to the Academy with his side still a good outside bet for relegation. Their recent form is poor and my sense is that whatever happens between now and May 19th, come May 20th Pards is set to get his P45. For a team that thinks it is a “big side” Newcastle has had a lousy season.
By contrast the Irons have started to play some pretty decent football of late. We are now almost certainly safe from the drop and one sense that Messrs Nolan and Carroll will have a point or two to prove today. The odds have to be on a home win, 100% certainty of top flight football next year and Pards being one game closer to black bag time. But I warn you, I shall be heading down to the Academy in a couple of hours, the Albatross is on his way.
4130 days ago
It is a 5.15 kick off so for now I can relax and look at how the other games are unfolding. I was chatting to a Newcastle supporter yesterday and the mood at whatever the stadium is called these days must be very bleak right now. On 20 points in the league (just two points above third bottom Wigan) and today out of the Cup thanks to Championship side Brighton. The side has injuries, its best player has just gone to Chelski ( and scored already) and I suspect that West Ham old boy Alan Pardew must – at the back of his mind – be starting to think that a P45 is on the way. Newcastle thinks it is a big club and unless Pards turns it around quickly, he looks like toast.
As for West Ham, Fat Sam has been active in the transfer market. Two new strikers (Maguire and Chamakh) are on board given options other than Carlton Cole up front with Carroll still injured and Maiga off to the African Cup ( and perhaps shipped out in the transfer windown anyway). But Joe Cole will almost certainly be playing today. With him, Jarvis (he of the covershoot in gay magazine Attitude fame), and Noble (if on form) playing behind Cole we do look able to score goals. Top scorer Kevin Nolan is back from suspension and although he is not universally loved I welcome his return. He may slow the game up a bit but a) he scores and b) he adds a bit of grit in defence which is where I always panic.
Injuries means that we have recalled young Danny Potts from his loan spell at Colchester.
