Douglas

1194 days ago

The Stupidity of Matt Hancock – has he never read Defoe or studied the history of his home town Chester?

I note that Matt Hancock has a First Class degree in PPE from Oxford and admit that I cannot match his Geoff. I only achieved a Desmond from the same place in the same subject and, at the time, I remember thinking that I was jolly lucky not to have racked up a Douglas. I am pretty sure that my late uncle Christopher Booker had the same feeling after coming away with a second from Cambridge where he read history.

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1200 days ago

London in Tier 3 – The Tories fail their PPE logic paper horribly: how thick is Matt Hancock?

As you may know, my occasional panic attacks consist of a nightmare that I have somehow managed to go back to Oxford as a mature student but, sitting in Schools facing finals again, I realise that I have done even worse than last time and that my Desmond will be removed and I am, if lucky, heading for a Douglas. One of the papers I must face is logic. Observing recent events, if I am compared with the current crop of Oxford-educated poltroons running the country, I reckon I might come top of the class and be set for a Geoff.

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1201 days ago

BREAKING BOMBSHELL EXPOSE: Is Bahamas Petroleum $20m disguised death spiral placing today ILLEGAL?

As a loyal former citizen of the Isle of Man I feel that it is my duty to go to my good friends at its Financial Services Authority on Bucks Hill in Douglas to dob in Bahamas Petroleum (BPC) for apparently breaking the law with its disguised death spiral placing announced today. Crime should not pay. Have they abolished birching for naughty Nomads on the island yet?.

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2742 days ago

Wasting More Time with the bastards at Barclays

Having had the run around from my Barclays team in Douglas, Isle of Man as I described on bearcast yesterday, I was advised to go to a Barclays branch in Bristol with two forms of ID to change its records of whom I worked for. As I had a dental appointment in town I walked to the main Barclays branch in central Bristol, at Broadmead, where the bastards then wasted another forty five minutes of my life with sheer incompetence.

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