1044 days ago
This oppressive Government is beneath contempt. Wimbledon can go ahead with full crowds but kids are seeing school proms and parties scrapped along with sports days, end of term plays, concerts, Brownie and Scout camps, residential courses. There will be no singing or dancing at my wife’s cousin’s wedding as it finally goes ahead at the 4th time of asking but in pubs and stadia across the country folks will sing, dance, not just sit at tables of six as they watch the Euros. Of course, at the G7 folks broke all of the silly rules in place as VIPs can’t catch covid. There is no logic in any of this, it is just mean and oppressive. And masks?
3589 days ago
I have not had a lawyer’s letter for more than two weeks. I can only conclude either that the greedy fat cat City Bully Boy lawyers are all sipping corporate champagne at Wimbledon or that I am slipping and being too much of a nice guy for my own good. It is only a matter of time and so I invite readers to guess who will send me my next lawyer’s letter. And, to help you select which scumbags are likely to win, I offer a handy form guide.
The Form Guide is simple. How many lawyers letters have I received in the past two years from the companies in the week’s poll.
3945 days ago
Comrades!" he cried. "You do not imagine, I hope, that we pigs are doing this in a spirit of selfishness and privilege? Many of us actually dislike milk and apples. I dislike them myself. Our sole object in taking these things is to preserve our health. Milk and apples (this has been proved by Science, comrades) contain substances absolutely necessary to the well-being of a pig. We pigs are brainworkers. The whole management and organization of this farm depend on us. Day and night we are watching over your welfare. It is for YOUR sake that we drink that milk and eat those apples.
Squealer, Animal Farm by George Orwell
In that spirit I bring you evidence of how those leading lights among those elected to serve us spent the weekend sitting in the best seats at Wimbledon at no cost to themselves. 
My caption for this picture is
Miliband, Call Me Dave and that fat Scottish git saying “taxpayers, you do not imagine that we are in the best seats at Wimbledon at your expense because we like expensive freebies. In fact we all hate tennis and free drink. But supporting Andy Murray, it has been proved by scientists, makes us more able to deal with the deficit, problems in Syria, immigration and the EU. It is for your sake that we are here.”
If you have a better caption please post it in the comments section below.
Last week I asked you for your captions for this picture of five of those fine fellows that William Hague wishes to send guns to, assuming they are not back in Britain at the time beheading soldiers or blowing up buses.
3946 days ago
Andy, you were a miserable git desplaying all that is worst about Scottish chippiness as a young man. You still strike me as a pretty dreary fellow and your cliche ridden post match interviews are really truly unbearable. But you do seem less miserable these days and actually almost quite a nice guy.
Crying last year was a masterstroke as you would have to have a heart of stone not to feel for you. And as such, although I'd rather watch paint dry than sit through a tennis match ( even if involves some delightful young ladies carefully chosen by John Inverdale), I truly wish you the very best of luck today as you seek to end the post 1936 Wimbledon drought.
As they rarely say where you come from...Best of British to you.
