2705 days ago
Not only does the Mrs insist that I need to buy a Christmas hat for our morbidly obese three legged cat Oakley but she then tasked me with making the purchase. And thus I found myself in a store called The Range which is a consumerist paradise for poor people with no taste whatsoever. You want a masturbating Christmas gnome for your garden? This is the place to get it. Ghastly Christmas decorations utterly unrelated to the nativity in 15 shades of gold and silver for your council flat are what you crave. Come along to The Range and you will be spoiled for choice.
2796 days ago
School results on the isle of Wight are piss poor and so Oftsed boss David Hoare mistakenly commented on this and suggested that there were perhaps good reasons why the offspring of the inbred white trash that inhabit the island's poorer districts fared so badly. You could see the poor fellow was doomed. Somehow he has survived for a month but now he has gone.
What Hoare said was obviously true. But
2812 days ago
I noted yesterday the persecution of Ofsted boss David Hoare for making a number of factually verifiable statements about the inbred chav community of the Isle of Wight and their propensity to crime, poor educational results and poverty. The old fool should have known better than to tell the truth and use empirical data in Airstrip One these days. It is far simpler to blame everything on global warming, the wicked Tories, Maggie Thatcher, Brexit or racism. Naturally my defence of Mr Hoare has already seen one chav from across the Solent send me a semi literate tweet and that prompts me to come up with "A Modest Proposal."
2813 days ago
It is rather like the annual ritual humiliation we see each Christmas when some poor sod of a Vicar mistakenly tells the little kiddies that Santa Claus does not exist. "How dare he?" scream a feral pack of dimwitted local residents and some publicity hungry, self important, local politicians on the make and the poor chap is forced to apologise as he tries to keep his job. And so today's victim who dared to tell the truth is David Hoare the head of Ofsted.
3413 days ago
I am not thinking of divorcing the Mrs but if I were I might start with X-Factor. In my single days the cats and I used to watch DVDs of Inspector Morse or, as a real treat, The Sweeney or Foyle. These days the Mrs is the only one smart enough to work out how to use the three remote controls needed to work her ultra-modern TV. As such she has power and that means that the cats have to watch the X-Factor.
To show solidarity with the suffering felines I have occasionally wandered in and, I confess, have become quite hooked as a range of chavs strut their stuff on stage. Of course the real stars of this lack of talent show are the judges, uber-camp Louis Walsh who is nice to everyone, Britain’s leading chanteuse and intellectual heavyweight Ms Cheryl Cole, or whatever she is called these days, an old spice hag and the waspish plutocrat and brains behind this money making machine Simon Cowell.
Watching is, I admit, pretty embarrassing but as we sat glued to Saturday’s final part one the Mrs grabbed her phone. Who are you texting? I asked. “I’m not – I’m voting for Fleur East.” The Mrs had listened to host Dermot and knew that her vote (cost £1.50) really mattered. Ching Ching. More money from Mr Cowell. It got worse…
3763 days ago
Santa (aka the Mrs, formerly known as the Deluded Lefty) included in my stocking a book called “Chavs” by Owen Jones. The Mrs was not fully aware of quite how loathsome Mr Jones is but surely the fact that at the top of the back cover is a quote from Guardian Harridan Polly Toynbee about how wonderful this book is must have been a giveaway.
Toynbee is, as you know, wrong about everything – the Toynbee Rule.
And so the book is dreadful. Mr Jones seems to think that quoting the opinion of some frightful lefty establishes what that frightful lefty believes as a matter of fact. That is even when it has been shown that the factual evidence shows that the views of the frightful lefty in question are just not borne out by hard reality.
I can understand when the students of the Mrs (studying sociology at a former Poly) cite the author of the Spirit Level to demonstrate the “fact” that inequality of wealth causes unhappiness all round. They are just 19 and are not a self-proclaimed one-person think tank for the Left. But when Owen Jones makes the same sort of claim you wonder what fuckwit offered to publish his book? Surely it would have been cheaper to have bought a few essays from her students off the Mrs and republished them?
Jones purports to show how the Middle Classes demonise all working class folks as chavs.
