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I am Viagra man and an ex FD is not Really an ex FD in my Spam Box

Tom Winnifrith
Thursday 26 July 2012

Just for the avoidance of doubt should any hot Swedish birds with loose morals and a penchant for older men staying in Greece thus summer be reading this, this article is not an admission that I have used or need to use Viagra. I am not that old. I shall explain more later. For the avoidance of more doubt, that bit about the Swedish birds was also a joke but in case I am still creating doubt, I have no need to take any chemicals.

Gmail is very good at taking out obvious spam, but sometimes it gets it wrong. So just occasionally I check my spam box to permanently delete a dozen emails from Nigeria and to see of there is anything important there. Today there was. First up was an email from a former FD at RSH Paul Lavender. Apparently he is in Madrid with his family and has been held up at gunpoint and needs me to wire him cash so he can get home – the thieves did not grab his passport.

So why was this in spam? Well it is an exact replica of numerous other emails sent out along similar lines. It looks genuine. They seem to have the right qualifications for Lav. The email address is almost the same as his. Er yes… almost the same. Gold stars for gmail. This one was from Nigeria as well.

Secondly there was a contract I have been waiting for from a publisher (Harriman House). I was beginning to wonder if my good friend Steve Eckett had seen sense and decided not to publish an e-book by me. After all the two companies that have published books by me in the past (Beautiful Books and Rushmere Wynne) have both gone bust. I am on a hat-trick here. But no. Eckett is a man of his word but has decided to call the book “The wisdom and wit of Viagra Man” and so gmail reckoned that the contract was in fact an invitation for me to buy a product, and I stress this once again, that I do not need.

For what it is worth the book will be a collection of put downs by me: articles from blogs, reposted to BB morons who make inane comments about those articles, emails sent over the years and the odd LinkedIn slap down. Viagra is a reference to this quote from Dru Edmonstone:

“Tom should have a career as a stand-up comedian. When it comes to investment writing, he sets the standard that we would all like to follow. Sometimes right of Genghis Khan and other times left of Bob Crowe, his words never fail to say it as it is with authority, integrity and lots of humour. A daily MUST READ full of Investment Viagra!!!!”

I am not sure that I agree with what Dru says but it reads well. And so I am now Viagra man. I am not sure about that either.

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About Tom Winnifrith
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Tom Winnifrith is the editor of TomWinnifrith.com. When he is not harvesting olives in Greece, he is (planning to) raise goats in Wales.
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