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Labour Party Councillor has sex with an alien 4 times a year

Tom Winnifrith Sunday 19 January 2014

 

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Just to show that UKIP does not have a complete monopoly on Nutters, and to show balance I refer you to Labour Councillor Simon Parkes from Whitby who says that he has sex with an alien four times a year and this is causing tensions with him human wife. Ok. Compared to Ed balls on Economics this seems quite plausible but none the less...

Cllr Parks says that he has had a child called Zarka with an alien who he calls the Cat Queen. Mr Parkes, a driving instructor by trade,

The driving instructor, who has three children with his human wife, said the intercourse with the alien happens about four times a year. “What will happen is that we will hold hands and I will say ‘I’m ready’ and then the technology I don’t understand will take us up to a craft orbiting the earth," he said.

Parkes has also claimed he was abducted by extra-terrestrials as a child and that his “real mother” is a 9ft tall alien with eight fingers. But residents of Whitby should not worry. Parkes states:

“It’s a personal matter and it doesn’t affect my work. I’m more interested in fixing someone’s leaking roof or potholes. People don’t want me to talk about aliens. I get more common sense out of the aliens than out of Scarborough Town Hall.”

Cllr Parkes UKIP application interview video, oops sorry I meant to say revelations of his alien experiences, can be watched below.


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Tom Winnifrith is the editor of TomWinnifrith.com. When he is not harvesting olives in Greece, he is (planning to) raise goats in Wales.
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