Personal and undiluted views
South Shields

3137 days ago

Friday Caption Contest on a Saturday: Nick Clegg Special

It is so long since we ran a caption contest that I have forgotten what that caption was or who won. Let’s assume that it was the Evil son for simplicity’s sake. And so this week caption contest features that leader of the party whose candidate in Bridgewater South got zero votes on Thursday. Even the candidate herself could not bring herself to vote Lib Dem. Meanwhile in South Shields Nick Clegg’s party scored the worst by-election result for a major party (do the Lib Dem’s count as one?) since 1948. Across the land Beardy Weirdies with Orange rosettes were thrashed. As such I ask for captions to this picture.

For what it is worth my entry is:

Nick Clegg predicts the number of seats the Lib Dems will win at the next election…best case scenario

Or

 Nick Clegg counts up the number of Lib Dem votes in Bridgewater but is out by ten.

Post your entries in the comments section below – deadline 9 AM Friday.

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3138 days ago

The Labour victor in South Shields – thick lardbucket

Whatever you think of David Miliband he was articulate and he was clever. He was wrong on most matters but he had his plus points. I was horrified by the stupidity of the lard bucket who has succeeded him. More than half the voters cast in this contest were cast four weeks ago by post. They were organised by the established party machine in the seat (Labour) and so fell almost entirely for Labour. Those who actually voted on the day, voted for UKIP not this lard bucket. There is something very wrong with such a system but do not expect the established parties to change it.

That she has a strong Geordie accent is not a problem. So does the delightful Ms Cheryl Cole who – as we all know – can do no wrong. But this woman just uttered an incoherent stream of grammatically incorrect babble. She is thick. Asked by Sky TV if she was a Blairite or a Brownite she looked vacant. I am not sure I could explain the differences too clearly myself but then I am not a Labour MP.  And so the lard bucket answered: I am a Labour party supporter. Well there’s a surprise.

Whet are her solutions to the Country’s ills? Er…shake that magic money tree. Spend, spend, spend. Great. What did the lard bucket do before this to give her such an acute grasp of economics? She was a social worker.

At that point I could take no more and flicked to another channel featuring another Labour supporter in the news…Mr Stewart Hall

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3139 days ago

Making Money from My Father thanks to UKIP & the Shipston poll

My father has already done his stint as part of the slick electoral machine of the Shipston branch of the party that wishes to block the deportation of Abu Qatada and now we sit back and watch the results come in tonight. To add interest we have six bets running. And it is at 5 Albanian Lekke a pop.

My banker is who will get a greater percentage of the popular vote: UKIP or the Lib Dems. The last national survey suggested the Lib Dems would get 14% and UKIP 22% just behind labour on 24%. I think it is pretty brave of anyone to admit voting Lib Dem but I suspect that even more folks are reluctant to admit to voting UKIP lest the local council snatch their kids or Ken Clarke accuses them of racism. So I sense the 22% might just underestimate the UKIP vote and so barring a miracle this is my banker bet.

I win 5 Albanian Lekke from my father.

I wish we had a bet on the South Shields by-election where the word is that both the Tories and Lib Dems will lose their deposits. Indeed there is a suggestion that the unofficial Monster raving Loony party (the one led by Nick Clegg) will in fact be beaten by the Official Monster Raving Loony party. UKIP will come second but I suspect a lot closer to Labour (in its safest seat in England) than it did in Rotherham.

How well UKIP actually does is down, I suspect to whether folks feel apathetic (Local elections do not count, all politicians are greedy sleazy tossers who ignore our wishes on everything, but I am off down the pub, staying at home waiting for the next Coronation Street star to be exposed as an alleged sex offender) or angry

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3166 days ago

Kevin Maguire – vile, bigoted, thick leftie

Maguire is a senior journalist with the Daily Mirror and a professional Northern class warrior. He was born in South Shields and has made a point of not losing his Geordie accent - indeed it has got more pronounced over the years - despite him being a full time member of the political media elite of London. I imagine that he lives in a plush part of North London. But he is oh so very working class (with an A pronounced the right way).

And so he wades into the debate on child killing welfare junkie Mick Philpott by suggesting on twitter

The issue of "funding lifestyles" should begin with George Osborne's family trust fund and the knighthood Sir George inherits

What a tool. Osborne will one day become Sir George as he inherits a baronetcy. This is the same reason Sir George Young is a Sir – he is a baronet. It is not a knighthood. It is a hereditary title and brings you zero money just a silly title. It funds no lifestyle.

And yes Osborne’s family is rich and the chancellor has enjoyed the benefits of that and will inherit wealth. So frigging what. Does Maguire think that no-one should inherit wealth? The Osborne cash has been around for a couple of generations. What about the Miliband cash – both of those boys inherited a good amount from their Marxist Dad. Does Maguire think that is wrong? Will his three offspring inherit anything from the money Maguire and his partner (Cambridge educated novelist and Guardian writer Emma Burstall) have made over the years from the lefty media circus? Go on Maguire: who are you leaving your cash to?

As it happens it is none of my business who leaves their cash to whom. The point is that it is the fruit of their labour (or perhaps that of their parents or grandparents) and individuals should have every right to decide where cash they earn goes to. That is rather different to Mick Philpott who acquired income and wealth with money taken from folks who worked to fund his lifestyle and his asset accretion (the snooker tables etc.) via Britain's utterly crocked welfare system and onerous tax regime. We as taxpayers had no say in the matter we just ponied up involuntarily to give Mick an easy life.

You have to be a bitter and stupid deluded leftie not to appreciate the difference between the funded lifestyle of Mick Philpott and that of George Osborne. Step forward Kevin Maguire.

 

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3173 days ago

Could UKIP win the South Shields by-election?

Well anything is possible. The uber talented chanteuse Ms Cheryl Cole could be walking down my street right now to ask me out for a hot date.  Frankly that is more likely than Labour losing a seat that has never been anything but Labour. But miracles can happen. Hang on… there is someone at the door.

Pizza delivery. Wrong address. Not Cheryl. Drat.

The results last time were Labour 52%, Tory 22%, Lib Dems 14%, BNP 7%, others (not including UKIP 5%). Following Rotherham and the national trends my assumptions would be:

Various others including the BNP and the Lib Dems get 10% between them. The Lib Dems will come somewhere between 5th and 8th on another night of abject humiliation for Nick Clegg. The BNP will not achieve much.  At least Clegg’s memory these days seems to be so poor when it comes to hearing painful news (Rennard, Huhne, Hancock) that he will soon be able to forget about leading his party to another electoral caning.

The Tory vote will slump. Call Me Dave has done his utmost to piss off traditional Tories (I am amazed that there were so many in South Shields, wherever it is, last time) and voters will tactically switch to the best placed party that might just run Labour close, i.e. UKIP. The Tories will get 10% of the vote ( + or – 3%). I suspect the – is more likely than the + - it will be a dire night for Call Me Dave as May 2nd also sees local elections in which the Tories will get thrashed. There will be stacks of very angry ex Tory councillors on May 3rd.

And so on the face of it, if the Labour vote held steady then that would see UKIP on 30% and Labour on 52%. But….

South Shields looks to be the sort of grim Northern shit hole that Labour takes for granted. Its voters there are working class and one suspects that their views on immigration, Europe and a range of other issues are not exactly the sort aired by Ed Miliband and his pals at Islington dinner parties. Besides which this by election is caused by Dave Miliband pissing off to New York to earn loads of wonga. Talk about treating your poor constituents with contempt. That makes the circumstances a touch unusual.

And so my guess is that there will be some shift from Labour to UKIP (as there was in Rotherham and Eastleigh) and also from Labour to “not voting at all as you are all wankers.”

UKIP has nothing to lose here. If it gets 30% and comes second (from nowhere) that is a triumph. But I have a sneaking feeling that it could do rather better than that. It is currently 17-1 to win and I am tempted to have a tiny flutter.  Anything is possible. Hang on... is that the doorbell I hear ringing again?

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