Personal and undiluted views
celebrity

2369 days ago

US actor Matt Damon tells us how to vote on Brexit - so what you little prick?

It has been widely reported that the pompous US actor Matt Damon has opined on Brexit, branding it "insane". Mr Damon's qualifications as a political scientist or an economist are unclear. He did go to Harvard but dropped out before graduating and studied English. To suggest that he has any expertise on the finer points of Brexit would therefore be somewhat pushing the limits of plausibility.

And, as an American, no-one should really care what Matt Damon thinks about a British issue. Perhaps with his enormous intellect Mr Damon might discuss when was the last time that American citizens took heed of overseas counsel 

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2383 days ago

It is going to be a great olive harvest here in Kambos but we need a celeb to promote our oil - any ideas?

Everyone here in Kambos, the little Mani village in which I am resident, is agreed. Our trees are drowning in flowers and come late November we are going to have a great olive harvest. As is our way in this part of Greece will turn our olives into oil and we will have simply vast amounts to sell and so all the talk is of who we can get to promote our olive oil to help rescue the village from austerity. I know what we need.

Can anyone think of a celebrity who is well known for using vast amounts of olive oil? Preferably we would want a good family man or woman, known for their single minded commitment and integrity and who might perhaps help promote alternative uses for our oil? Can anyone think of a suitable person?

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2394 days ago

We move to new US hoster, I head to olive oil central to fight for free speech

I am still spitting nails at the facist lawyers for a certain celebrity couple who got this entire website taken down on Friday by bullying our previous hosting company. The facist lawyers at Web Sheriff were not acting on behalf of a UK Court and acted on their own very dodgy interpretation of whether any legal threshold had been crossed by a certain article.

Fine. I have now republished the article which breaches no UK injunction, having moved my hosting to the United States and moved myself to the hovel in Greece which produces fantastic olive oil. If anyone reading this wants to buy some oil to use for whatever they want they know how to get in touch. Our new hosting company has balls of steel as you can see:

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2421 days ago

Tory MP shags hooker - Labour Tories & Hacked Off talk 100% cobblers

It emerged last night that Tory MP John Whittingdale, now the Culture & Media minister, had a sexual relationship with a hooker before he became a minister. This has now prompted almost everyone involved in the sordid affair and everyone commenting on it, notably former MP Dr Death, Evan Harris, who now speaks for the odious Hacked Off body to spout complete drivel.

Four newspapers, that is to say three tabloids and the little read Indescribablyboring, knew about the affair but chose not to print details. They did so as they discovered about the relationship just after Leveson and were thus terrified of being bashed about intruding into the privacy of the MP, who was not married and did end the affair after he discovered he was dating a call girl. 

That was a bad call by the press. Prostitution

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2422 days ago

There was a knock on the door and a man had a brown envelope: I feared it was for me

Having received two threatening emails in two days from lawyers acting for celebrity xxxxxx and his partner xxxxxxx who do not want us all to know what we all already know about threesomes, unprotected anal sex and olive oil baths, I am feeling a tad skittish. And so seeing a bearded man get off his bike and wander to my front door carrying a brown envelope I feared the worst. It would not be the first time that I have been "served" at this adddress.

Sure enough the envelope was stuffed through the letterbox and had my name on it carefully typed. I opened the door and shouted "who are you" as the fat bearded man got back onto his moped. He asked if I was "Mr Winnifrith" to which I shiftily replied that I was at which point he announced who he was "Comrade, I am your local labour councillor". 

Indeed,

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2811 days ago

Amin the Cook & Jeremy Clarkson: the same rules apply

On Tuesday I heard a loud noise inside Free Speech & Liberty Pizza and came in to find a young cook shouting loudly while a senior cook sat on a chair mopping blood from his head. The younger guy, Amin, had done a Jeremy Clarkson.

You are fired said I. And so he was. He shouted. He pushed me a bit but he was out of the building within ten minutes and will not return. Given he has only been on the payroll a few months he can have no comeback, you cannot hit a colleague.

That is what Jeremy Clarkson is alleged to have done. He seems to think

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2819 days ago

The BBC is RIGHT to suspend and maybe sack Jeremy Clarkson

I have defended Jeremy Clarkson when he has been attacked unfairly – for instance when he made a series of factually accurate comments about the workshy semi feral population of the welfare safari that is the slum Liverpool.  I cannot think that I have ever written a pleasant word about the politically correct nest of paedophile friendly vipers that is the BBC – I would privatise it at once. But for once I stand firm with the waste of taxpayers cash that is the Beeb.

Clarkson is alleged to have thrown a punch at an employee of top gear. In every single workplace in the country such conduct would see anyone – even a CEO – suspended pending an investigation and, if found guilty, fired. Simply being a celebrity does not buy you an exemption. O it should not buy you an exemption.

I see that Noel Edmonds is arguing that the BBC should accept that “stars” have to be treated differently. Rubbish. One of the facets of the sad decline of Britain is our lamentable worship of the cult of celebrity. Folks want to be famous just to be famous. And when you are famous somehow you get to live by different rules.

Maybe that is the way our nation is going. Maybe simply by being famous you can be allowed to hit your staff. What else are you allowed to do as a celeb which we plebs cannot do? Steal, cheat, murder? I don’t know but where exactly do the celeb-worshippers draw the line?

It was, arguably, this cult of celebrity that allowed Saville, Hall, Harris and the other monsters to get away with what they did. 

Call me old fashioned

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3656 days ago

Deluded Lefty Celebrity Hyprocrite of the day – Brian May

You may remember that Brian May, the guitarist with Queen, lead the campaign to stop the cull of badgers in the West Country. The badger population is out of control and they spread TB but “nouvelle landowner” May knew better. After all, he deserted the Tories for Labour in 2010 to save badgers and foxy woxy.

Now it emerges that on one of his Dorset estates he accepted professional advice and allowed healthy young deer to be, er…culled. Of course he has now put a stop to it on humanitarian grounds.

One rule for poor farmers and one for Brian. I wonder as the young deer saw the gunmen approaching were they singing to themselves:

She keeps her Moet et Chandon
In her pretty cabinet
‘Let them eat cake’ she says
Just like Marie Antoinette
A built-in remedy
For Kruschev and Kennedy
At anytime an invitation
You can’t decline

Caviar and cigarettes
Well versed in etiquette
Extraordinarily nice

She’s a Killer Queen

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