Personal and undiluted views

3295 days ago

It’s World Toilet Day - #Wecantwait – I am so excited I am pissing myself!

It is another UN sponsored “world day”.  And today’s spurious bag of nonsense is “World Toilet day.”  No shit. I am serious.

I was alerted to this by a woman from the charity Water Aid which has bullied the UN into making November 19th “World Toilet day” and has published a report titled “we can’t wait.”  The woman was a guest on Radio 4’s Today programme which my Mrs insists that we listen to in the morning.

It did not take this woman long to start to explain that lack of toilets is an issue that affects women far more than men. The failure of the world to build more toilets is therefore a reflection of the patriarchal nature of society. Even my Mrs, who is a deluded lefty of the highest order, was struggling to keep a straight face at this point.

But there was no stopping the woman from Water Aid.


3426 days ago

Frigging hell it is 7.40 in Greece and where’s my breakfast?

The deluded lefty insists that she does not believe in patriarchy, blah, blah, blah. So we have an early morning arrangement that is based on equality and partnership – no exploitation either way. After a hard day’s slog in the public sector she stays in bed until about 7.30 and I make her a cup of tea. I get up rather earlier to be a wicked capitalist but just after 7.30 the DL brings me a bowl of organic fair trade porridge. I think I am right that oats do come from Scotland and Scotland is the sort of third world bankrupt country where deluded lefties try to help poor farmers with fair trade.

Anyhow my point is that I am used to the little woman serving me breakfast by 7.30. Yup, for the avoidance of doubt for any BB Morons out there, my partner is a bird not a bloke.

As such life chez Spiros here in Greece is a bit of a shock for me. I get up – as ever - at between 5.30 and 7 (3.30 and 5 UK time) allowing me to create a string of masterpieces before the UK starts its working day. Spiros, on the other hand displays the work ethic which has made Greece the place it is today (the Scotland of the South) and seems unable to raise himself before eight.

It is now 7.45 and, with five articles under my belt already, I am increasingly in need of a coffee and some toast and so now have to go through the ritual of jumping into the pool and splashing as much and as loudly as possible in order to hint, gently, that it is rise and shine time.  

Splish, splash, splosh, wakey, wakey Spiros!