Confused? Remember this is 2021 and on the pyramid of victimhood, women  – even if they are lesbians- are now pretty much on the bottom rung.  Meanwhile members of the transgender community are pretty much at the top of the pyramid so their needs trump those of a common or garden lesbian.

For some reason Quincey has graduated from sleeping in Jayarani’s baby chair and is today taking control of my garden trug which, after bringing in another batch of chillies for threading and drying, sits on the kitchen floor. Maybe, as he approaches his 7th birthday, he is growing up. Whatever, the bigger and friendlier of the two cats is very handsome as you can see below.

When you are up against the whole roster at Radio 1 it really is almost impossible to be Britain’s dumbest radio presenter but I wonder if Mike Graham of Talk Radio is a shock contender for the title. As you can see below he managed to make a chap from Insulate Britain look smart today and that is some achievment.

Fellow Woodlarks walker Robert tries to shame me with a photo of an impressive woodpile at his place. Now I know that size isn’t everything but after some hard work yesterday which even Joshua got involved with, our bigger logs have been split and the pile here in Wales grows as you can see below.

Ahead of the pointless green wankfest that is COP26, folks in the host City are getting hotter under the collar than a solar panel desperately seeking sun on the Clyde, over the fact that Glasgow appears to be over-run with rats amid piles of rubbish. Personally I reckon that is all down to global warming but others think that the blame can be pointed at a more obvious villain. So who is to blame? Is it:

The game for the, overwhelmingly white and middle class, idiots who do their best to gum up Britain’s roads is to waste as much Police Time as possible while screwing up the traffic flow. And so the latest wheeze is for these idiots to attach their hands or face to the road with superglue which causes police and medical staff to waste hours and hours ungluing them without causing pain. As ever we have it all wrong.

I am reading this series of books to my five year old son Joshua who is, of course, of Indian origin. So I explain what Laura means by an Indian and he gets it.  But in years to come  the simple pleasure of reading these wonderful books may be denied us because Laura is now like coffee, women’s knickers, fried chicken, a 42 tonne rock, trees and numerous other items officially racist. Who says so? Homerton College Cambridge.

The BBC decided to send one of its reporters, Branwen Jeffreys, to some grim Northern town where folks were poor so that they could take the piss out of the “levelling up” programme which is one of Boris Johnson’s little joke policies.  Firstly the state broadcaster showed the traditional scenes one associates with grim post industrial Northern towns such as this one, Ashington in Northumbria. And then complained that the Government was not spending enough on infrastructure to change that.

My son is a 5 year old kid just like all the other kids in his form at Primary school.  He plays, he learns, he obeys the teacher. He gets on well with his peers and with older kids in a school where there are, I think, three children of colour. Joshua is the only one in his form. Boy must he have stood out today.

As I have discussed openly, I have in the past considered suicide. Thankfully those dark days are long gone but 125 folks a week do kill themselves in the UK each week. If my mother’s own suicide taught me anything it is a tragedy for the person who ends their life but, perhaps, an even greater one for those left behind. I know that both my father and my mother’s brother, Christopher Booker, were haunted to the end by the idea they could have stopped it.  The pain and guilt they felt were all too obvious. 

Plan B for England should covid case numbers increase involves bringing back face masks, vaccine passports and an encouragement to work from home. And this, we are assured by the experts, will help to stop the spread of covid, protect the NHS, make us all safer, yak, yak, yak.  But the problem is that there is already hard data from the British Isles to show this is utter rubbish.

When Angela Rayner termed the Tories “scum” she was attacked for her language and then the papers snapped her having a crafty cigarette outside the Labour party conference. That was the picture then used because, in 2021, all smokers are deemed stupid, ignorant and just rather dirty. Truly: smoking is the new evil.

One of the totemic symbols of global warming is the polar bear. Al Gore predicted they’d all be gone by now as he picked up his Nobel prize. In fact numbers are at record levels. Another is the Maldives. The islands were meant to be under water by 2010. In fact sea levels are unchanged and not one island is underwater. And then there are the coral reefs. I shall hand you over to Prince William…

Today we learn the sad news that Dennis Hutchings has died aged 80. Mr Hutchings served this country for 26 years as a soldier but the “peace process” in Northern Ireland meant that he was pushed into an early grave by this wretched faux Tory Government.

There are some folks out there who suggest that to make amends for Britain’s role in slavery we white folks here in Britain should ALL have to pay reparations to ALL people of colour on the basis that their ancestors were slaves. Heck, I know we did not enslave the Indians but I am sure we must have committed multiple Imperial sins in India, becuase in the new narrative of 2021 Empire is always bad, so surely my Mrs gets a look in as well? No. Okay well let’s talk about Alex Scott, the former footballer and TV presenter who is a person of colour and about me.