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Yeeeees - Christmas comes early at West Ham, but I did not dare look

Tom Winnifrith
Saturday 6 May 2017

I did not want to hex my beloved West Ham so not only did I not seek out somewhere to watch the game but I switched off my PC so I could see nothing on twitter. In fact I made sure that I did not know the result until this morning. Here in a Greek Hotel as the bubbles tucked into their breakfast a loud YEEEES went up.

After a season of utter woe and failure to beat the Spurs at home means a) the team we despisre most in the Premiership will not win the title. Instead it will be won by the marginally less hated Chelsea. More importantly 42 points means safety. Though West Ham is currently 9th there are stacks of teams on 41, 40 and 39 points who will overtake us. But Swansea cannot so West Ham is safe. We are stayin' up cos we are stayin' up!

For the past few weeks West Ham's twitter account keeps on talking about how a top ten finish is what is on our minds. Bollocks.

From years of experience, West Ham supporters always look down not up when we look at the table. I have wasted far too long in recent days working out how we stay up when, as I assumed was a cert, we lost our last three games (home to Spurs and Liverpool) and away at Burnley whose home record is cracking and who might well need the points badly.

But now I don't have to worry about how Crystal Palace v Hull turns out. Or pray for Everton to beat Swansea. It is far better to stay up by beating the scum and dashing their title hopes than by relying on Hull taking points off Palace or vice versa. In fact there is no better way to stay up. Even the Mrs has noticed and mentioned it as she phoned from Heathrow. 

A joyful call to my daughter, whose veins flow claret & blue, awaits

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About Tom Winnifrith
Tom Winnifrith is the editor of When he is not harvesting olives in Greece, he is (planning to) raise goats in Wales.
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