Lavinia Woodward attends Christ Church the Oxford College known as "the House". 17 Prime Ministers went there, it is the college of of the privileged elite. It goes without saying that like Evelyn Waugh I was rejected by the House and, like Waugh, ended up at downmarket Hertford. The House is for the blue bloods not great writers. Lavinia picked up her boyfriend on the casual sex app Tinder, then while off her head on drugs assaulted him, throwing a laptop and other objects in his direction before stabbing him in the leg with a bread knife. Jail beckons surely? Er...no.
Let us imagine that the person in the dock was some chav from Oxford's worst estates at Blackbird Leys. Like Lavinia she is 24 and off her head on alcohol and drugs when she stabs her boyfriend. The chav did not attend a £16,000 a year school before going to Oxford but a sink comprehensive in the Leys. Claiming that she has had a past abusive relationship - as Lavinia did - would cut no ice with the judge.
There would be no question at all, that pleb would be heading for the slammer. So what if she gets to access even more drugs there. So what if it harms her chances of getting a job at Tesco. The crime merits time.
But luckily for Lavinia, Judge Ian Pringle worries that sending her down may damage her chances of becoming a surgeon. So he says he is considering no sentence. While I can see that Lavinia has some skills with the knife, if I am to be operated on I'd rather it was not by a bird who likes taking vast amounts of booze and drugs and assaulting men she has picked up on tinder. Brain dead elitist judge Pringle stated:
To prevent this extraordinary, able young lady from following her long-held desire to enter the profession she wishes to, would be a sentence which would be too severe,
No judge Pringle you are wrong. Getting into Oxford does not make you extraordinary. Most folks there are clever but not Einsteins. The ,medical profession will stagger on without the admission of posh Lavinia to its ranks and crime must go punished.
Judge Pringle would send the chav from Blackbird Leys down without hesitation and would probably lecture the tearful wretch as she stood quivering in the dock about how she is an idiot and must pay for her sins to send a message to society.
This is the 21st Century. It cannot be one law for the privileged elite and one for the great unwashed. Lavinia must go to jail and judge Pringle should be fired for being an elitist, out of touch old coot.