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Joshua's apparent hatred of Santa Claus

Tom Winnifrith
Wednesday 13 December 2017

There is no doubt that my angelic one year old son Joshua will be blessed with a visit from Santa Claus on the night before Christmas for he has been a good boy. The Mrs will be equally blessed for she has been a good girl. Notwithstanding the fact that he has just vomited in the kitchen, my three legged cat Oakley will also be rewarded with a stocking. Indeed, Santa will be a busy fellow. The mother-in-law is joining us to brighten up my Christmas and I gather that Santa will also be visiting her. to reward her for her good deeds in 2017, The only question is will daughter Olaf, be so lucky? She is a godless creature delighting in liberal delusions who thinks that Christmas is just one great consumerfest and nothing to do with Jesus. Should Santa really reward such heathens? But back to Joshua...

At his nursery a grotto has been established where parents can leave a present for Santa to hand out to their little darlings at the end of a given school day. And thus as I go to pick Joshua up in the evening, a big fat man with a white beard, glasses and a kindly smile sits there in his red suit waiting to greet the little children.

On Monday I was carrying Joshua to the car. He was smiling as he greeted me and in a good mood as I slung him over my shoulder like a small sack of spuds. So when I saw Santa I put him down, facing the old man. Joshua stood, looked and then started screaming and bawling in a way he has never before. After a minute or so of trying to console him and persuade him that Santa was really a well intentioned old geezer I just apologised and carried him away.

Tuesday came and Joshua and I were walking home so he was in a pram. I wheeled him from his classroom towards the exit and he was happy. Then he spotted Santa. Again cue screaming and bawling. I hastily agreed with Santa that he and Joshua were just not meant to be friends and we scuttled away. Today was a noon pick up so no Santa. I think that means no more encounters with the bearded old boy. I am struggling to explain Joshua's hostility. Perhaps he thinks it is Jeremy Corbyn?

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About Tom Winnifrith
Tom Winnifrith is the editor of When he is not harvesting olives in Greece, he is (planning to) raise goats in Wales.
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