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Ha! Christian Aid: Gotcha – you called the wrong Mr T Winnifrith on the £2billion day

Tom Winnifrith
Wednesday 5 December 2012

My Guardian reading father is an incredibly generous contributor to Christian Aid. But still they want more. It is after all better to give than to receive and they are just helping to save his soul. And so once a week he gets a call asking him to up his contribution. Bad luck Christian aid. My father is at a funeral and so when you called today and asked for Mr T Winnifrith I replied truthfully that they were speaking to Mr T Winnifrith and…

As you may have noticed, Bankrupt Britain has today pledged yet more cash (£2 billion in total) to help poor countries tackle climate change. Sure the UK will have a balance sheet like that of Greece two years ago by 2020 but who cares? Just piss it all away. Well Christian Aid cares. It is not their cash anyway, just like it is not the Government’s cash. It is the taxpayer’s cash but no-one asked us.

Christian Aid’s senior climate change adviser Mohamed Adow said: ‘We welcome this new pledge by the UK to provide mid-term climate finance. It is an encouraging move and forces the hand of other developed countries. The UK must push them to make their own commitments.

‘If other developed countries continue to offer vague assurances rather than solid commitments, their claims about showing leadership in tackling climate change are like a mirage in the Qatari desert.

‘The UK has promised that half of the £1.8 billion will go towards helping countries adapt to climate change, which is also welcome. Previously, most climate finance has gone on mitigation efforts to reduce emissions. Given the terrifying impact of climate change already making itself felt, this is a step in the right direction.

Bollocks to you Mohamed and bollocks to Christian Aid.

a) The world has got colder for the past 16 years and so there is absolutely zero evidence linking carbon emissions to global warming
b) Britain is going bankrupt and cannot afford this.
c) Money is going to places like Uganda where £12 million of Irish money has recently just “gone missing” (i.e. gone to Swiss bank accounts) and where the President when not pushing through laws to make homosexuality punishable by death spent £25 million last year on his private Jet. Uganda spends a far greater percent of Government spending on defence & security than does, say, the UK.

And so I told Christian Aid that for welcoming plans to accelerate the bankruptcy of Britain by funding African crooks and spurious projects with taxpayer’s cash it was a disgrace. Mr T Winnifrith is freezing his contributions and if he is plagued with one more call will consider cancelling them altogether.

And it is all true. I did not lie. My personal contributions are frozen (at nil) and now it looks as if My Dad will not be plagued anymore and his efforts to win deluded left brownie points by handing over cash for despots will be frustrated.

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About Tom Winnifrith
Tom Winnifrith is the editor of When he is not harvesting olives in Greece, he is (planning to) raise goats in Wales.
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