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A masterstroke by Boris to win back my vote and it almost worked

Tom Winnifrith
Wednesday 24 March 2021

We were all told that if we got the vaccine we’d be safe so could go on our hols. That seemed a bit harsh but I played along and got the jab and promptly booked a flight to go and spend the summer at the luxury eco palace formerly known as the Greek Hovel. Then the Tories said that if I went on hols I would be fined £5,000. Yet another reason to vote Plaid Cymru in May thought I, as I cursed Boris Johnson and the evil Tories. Or maybe not.

For it seems that if you are the sort of chap who owns a place abroad, fellows like Stanley, the dad of Boris, Polly Toynbee or myself, you can go on hols anyway if you need to handle matters relating to renting out your second home. Well, as it happens, I have been approached by a fellow who wants to rent the Greek Hovel later this summer but since I have not been there since last summer it really will need a lot of work on the house, the pool and above all on clearing the land of frigana so that it is not a snake paradise.

So it seems as if I really will have to go to Greece to sort this out and, thanks to Boris, the plane will not be clogged up with the sort of filthy poor people who can’t afford second homes and so I shall not be troubled by the grating sound of working-class accents as I make the trip.

Well, I say, that is jolly D of Boris to fix this up. A nice plane where the only passengers are chaps like myself and Stanley. I might even bump into a few of my chums from Oxford or boarding school. This really is the sort of Britain we want to see. Oiks off to Margate in the rain, chaps like Stanley and myself enjoying cheap and uncrowded flights to the sun where we can chat about Horace, the relevance of Evelyn Waugh in 2021 Britain, the sad decline of first class county cricket and other matters the hoi polloi cannot hope to grasp.  I was so chuffed with this proposal that I was almost tempted to vote Tory again but then I saw the tweet below from Leanne Woods, the former leader of the cottage burners, Plaid Cymru, the party of Wales.

If you like women who are mean and nasty to you, Leanne is your political dominatrix and as a floating voter, this is really going to win me over.  C’mon Leanne insult me again, it is just so seductive. Leanne how can I resist your charms, your clear and logical analysis takes my breath away. I apologise for even being tempted by the Tories and Boris’s cunning summer holidays plan.

Cymru am byth.

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About Tom Winnifrith
Tom Winnifrith is the editor of When he is not harvesting olives in Greece, he is (planning to) raise goats in Wales.
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