Being a Canadian, my best man Darren Atwater is a bearded uber-woke deluded lefty. Like his beloved leader Justin Trudeau, when he puts his socks up for the Winter holiday which he dares not call Christmas lest he offends someone of another religion or none, Darren always uses an Eid sock or a Pride Parade one. But even he must find it mildly disconcerting that many of his fellow countrypeople might think that my portly pal could be pregnant. We reactionary conservatives reckon that only women get pregnant but in Canada such a statement would be condemned as alt right freakery and – amid a twitter storm – there would be demands for instant career ending sanctions. It seems to be what the Canucks call progress.