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The most pretentious corporate mission statement in history – Starcom MediaVest

Tom Winnifrith
Saturday 22 June 2013

I see via Linkedin that a foxy Greek bird who used to work for me has a new job and so I go to check out her new employer a firm called Starcom Mediavest which as far as I can see is something big in advertising. I could not fathom exactly what it does from its website  www.smvgroup.com but its mission statement “our purpose” is an absolute stormer. I reproduce it below. Try not to laugh too much at this classic piece of pretentious nonsense.

Our Purpose

SMG is the Human Experience Company. People and experiences are our purpose and the heart of our business.

Our Dream

We live to grow our clients’ businesses by transforming behavior through uplifting, meaningful Human Experiences.

Our Beliefs

•The future is shaped here.

•Change is opportunity—and we love change.

•People and their experiences are at the heart of everything we do.

•Our people are the primary source of our competitive advantage.

•A diverse tribe is a strong tribe.

•The role of technology is to add meaning and value to people’s lives.

•We deliver for our clients by delighting their customers.

Our Attributes

Our DNA is unique. Our people are transformational, dynamic, relentless, fearless, tribal, streetwise, switched on, human.  We seek out and develop these attributes in our talent and put these qualities to work for our clients.

Our Focus

Powerful experiences are Simple. Meaningful. Real Time.  With steadfast focus on these guideposts, we deliver.

Our Spirit

We win as one. Through collaboration, people, and technology, we come together to win as an agency and for our clients.

United, all these dimensions of our human experience purpose fuse to create Starcom MediaVest Group, an agency focused on the future—one harnessing transformation spurred by digital, content and analytics and rooted deep in human understanding that sparks insights, big ideas, experience innovations, and business-building results for clients.

I am sold… where do I sign up.

 

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About Tom Winnifrith
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Tom Winnifrith is the editor of TomWinnifrith.com. When he is not harvesting olives in Greece, he is (planning to) raise goats in Wales.
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