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Friday Caption Contest on a Sunday – the Church of England on Finance Issue

Tom Winnifrith
Sunday 20 October 2013

My father has done more than his fair share of work as Treasurer of the Shipston Parish. Its finances are okay – thanks in good part to my father handing over far too much of his dosh – but the finances of the wider C of E are a shambolic disaster. The reason is that it is a failing organisation – it keeps on losing customers to the grim reaper, other faiths and sects or to apathy and it is not replacing them.

One reason for this may be that the Church, like other once respected bodies such as the National Trust and the RSPCA seems intent on straying off its core patch. All three of these bodies have made themselves look ridiculous with their pronouncements on matters such as global warming and hunting of animals. But they just cannot help themselves.

And thus the Archbishop of Canterbury has today waded into the energy price debate telling companies that they should sacrifice profits by cutting prices ( prices agreed with the regulator) so folks are less badly off. Why not instead cut this Government’s ludicrous energy taxes imposed to help reduce our carbon footprint? Er…. Because the Church still thinks the planet is getting warmer (even though we are now in year 16 of cooling).

This is not a moral point the Church and the Archbishop is making but a political one. He wants wealth taken from shareholders in private companies and given to the British population. Of course lower prices might mean we use more fuel which will cause global warming won’t it?  Archbishop Justin Welby is like his predecessor set to be another misguided, failing CEO of an organisation in what appears to be terminal decline.

As an aside I would note that a large number of the other contributors to Shipston Church are little old ladies living by themselves on a fixed income derived from bonds and safe high yield shares like…er….the utilities. Cut their dividend stream and a) they cut back on fuel usage and b) they give less to the Church.

As such I offer you a suggestion for the next Archbishop of Canterbury Mr Gordon Gekko. He knows as much about religion as the CofE knows about economics so what would Gordon say? Post your captions in the comments section below by Friday at 9 AM

For what it is worth my comment is:

Having been appointed as the next Archbishop of Canterbury, Gekko states:

Greed, for lack of a better word, is good. Greed is right, greed works. Greed clarifies, cuts through, and captures the essence of the evolutionary spirit. Greed, in all of its forms: greed for life, for money, for love, knowledge, has marked the upward surge of mankind. And greed, you mark my words, will not only create those with enough private wealth who will donate funds to mend the roof of Shipston Parish Church, but through the same process will save that malfunctioning corporation called the Church of England. Thank you very much.

Last week I asked you for comments on this picture in our Polly Toynbee Grim North edition

Congratulations to the winner, Revidiver for this:


Here's a shilling Polly towards your villa in Tuscany.


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About Tom Winnifrith
Tom Winnifrith is the editor of When he is not harvesting olives in Greece, he is (planning to) raise goats in Wales.
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