Personal and undiluted views
Shipston

43 days ago

Photo Article from the Welsh Hovel - no Darren these are not bloody cherries!

My colleague Darren uploaded these photos and reckons what he saw was cherries. Poltroon! Sadly my nine cherry trees are yet to yield much, I have hopes for next year. What you see is from the two crabapple trees in the new orchard I planted in early 2020 and which Joshua and I harvested last week.

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170 days ago

Remembering the late Dr Tom Winnifrith

My father would have put big red marks on this obituary for him by Stephen Nash for the Anglo Albanian Association, where it is suggested that Shipston is in Worcestershire rather than Warwickshire. Otherwise he would have been rather touched by what follows as were myself and my siblings. But Dad wouldn’t have said so. Folks of his generation did not admit to such things. Maybe he might have chosen a rather less “mad professorish” photo.

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195 days ago

Tom Winnifrith Bearcast: the last one from Shipston as 40 cases of books head back to Wales

I have spent the past day sorting out books and furniture at my late father’s house and reflect on that. Then I discuss Hurricane Energy (HUR) and why I am not selling my shares in MyHealthChecked (MHC) yet, and why they will pass through 10p fairly soon. 

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196 days ago

Tom Winnifrith Bearcast: Happy Birthday Dad

It is my late father’s birthday something I consider HERE. He used to love Bearcasts especially when I was rude about folks he disliked and i am sure Green Baroness Jenny Jones would have been in that category and I know Boris Johnson was. So I discuss Dad as I head to Shipston tomorrow to bring his books and possessions up to Wales on Wednesday. Then I look at today’s insane covid news and what it means for all of us.

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202 days ago

It is my dead Dad’s Birthday

I am sure that my siblings and a number of other folks who loved my dad, who died last October, will be remembering that it is his birthday today. He would have been 83.

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241 days ago

Reading the family papers: it is easy to be reduced to tears

Among those things I collected from the house of my late father in Shipston yesterday were some ancient photo albums and several boxes of family papers and documents. I have started reading but these things almost make me tearful.  

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254 days ago

Photo Article from the Welsh Hovel: Jane Tomlinson, My Grandfather in his Brideshead days & the portraits of a naked ex girlfriend dilemma

We moved to the Welsh Hovel 21 months ago and still we have some things in cardboard packing boxes. Not a lot but enough. But as rooms are renovated, one by one, and furniture is added, gradually those boxes can be unpacked. In a month or so I shall also be picking up more furniture from my late father’s house in Shipston including two more Victorian bookcases and so this week I have been going through those cardboard boxes.

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259 days ago

Tom Winnifrith Bearcast: as insanity rages I look at the thoughts of 3 great sex symbols and investment legends: Becks, Lucian Miers and Malcolm Stacey

I start with a joke about Lord George Young and the late Jimmy Savile prompted by a discovery my sister made today in Shipston. Then I look at IQE (IQE), Cineworld (CINE) and the scandal that is the David Beckham linked pot IPO.

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318 days ago

Tom Winnifrith Bearcast: May 1 he is made a Lord, June 2017 he hands over £500,000 - nothing to see here sir, move along quietly!

I start with the reason for no bearcast yesterday, Joshua and I heading to an empty house in Shipston. Then today’s Joshua Advent calendar window which confuses me. Then onto Nakama (NAK), Red Rock Resources (RRR), Wishbone (WSBN) which could be a 100 bagger – see HERE  - Monday’s fraud conference which is definitely my last outing as a speaker – Anglesey Mining (AYM) and finally why at every level, including valuation, Sensyne (SENS) is a complete and utter stinker. 

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332 days ago

Nobody’s Kingdom the last book by the late Dr TJ Winnifrith published today

As I recounted in my non eulogy eulogy my father published around 20 books on subjects ranging from the Brontes, George Orwell, the philosophy of leisure, Greece old and new and the Vlachs.  One of the highlights of the last weeks of his life was the first copy of his last book arriving in Shipston. That book is published today.

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361 days ago

The vicar sends me a stern email about Dad's funeral - the Church of England is failing its parishioners monstrously

I have been sent a stern email by the Vicar in Shipston about tomorrow’s funeral for my father. She knows my views and position but reminds me that the Church is only following the law in requiring us all to muzzle up and not sing. Naturally I have replied but the attachment below, the Church’s guidance on Covid prevention, strikes me as a monstrous deception which, in time, it will be forced to recognise and will come to regret.

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361 days ago

Come and arrest me at my father’s graveside you sad little people with Orwellian fantasies

Today an email arrives from sister T about my father’s funeral on Thursday. It generates a strong but measured response to all attendees from me. Were we 30 who were attending the funeral to head off afterwards to a grouse shoot that would be legal. Were we to head to the White Bear and book five tables in a crowded back room and sit there mask free that would be fine and dandy. But if we go on from the church to bury my father in the same plot as my late step-mother, in an open field, right on the edge of Shipston, there is a problem.

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367 days ago

Photo article from the Welsh Hovel - making Apple Juice

On Tuesday, Joshua and I again went picking apples from the orchard by the river and we have already enjoyed an apple crumble. Next up will be another pressing of aple juice for my first stab at it was a bit of a triumph.

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367 days ago

Photo article from the building works at the Welsh Hovel - folks re-doing their homework

First up is the third of the fireplaces we discovered in the dining room kitchen. This wall had been covered in plaster with a small fireplace from the early 20th century. That was in front of the third of the holes in the wall and had been “restored” while I was away in Shipston. Sadly…

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367 days ago

Tom Winnifrith Bearcast: Should Dad's funeral be in the White Bear and is Network International a stonking short?

I ponder this grave question after considering the illogical hateful restrictions we face in Shipston next week. In another podcast I raise the possibility that Donald Trump might win on November 3 because of factors the deadwood press and BBC opt to ignore. All is explained HERE. Then I discuss three sets of builders here at the Welsh Hovel who must be starting to dislike me. Then it is onto Centamin (CEY), Bidstack (BIDS) and Network International (NETW) – a £1.5 billion short?

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368 days ago

So who gets to attend my father’s funeral in this era of Covid lockdown?

There are six of us who called my father Dad and we have all been fairly reproductive. Thus with my father’s sister and his carer we are already at 24. And that number would have been higher had my wife not been almost due to produce a final grandchild and had my son not been too young to understand why so many are in tears. The Mrs and Joshua will not attend. Pro tem my father and the vicar do not count in the 30 who can attend, although I gather that the Welsh Government is considering changing the status of priests and corpses for services in this rain sodden Police state*.

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373 days ago

Tom Winnifrith Bearcast: the last from Shipston

My father died at 8.22 AM on Monday and I discuss that. Then [email protected] Capital (SYME), Eurasia Mining (EUA), Pensana Rare Earths (PRE) and market frothiness.

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374 days ago

Tom Winnifrith Bearcast - calling in from shorting gang HQ in Shipston. Not!

I start with a few personal thoughts as I sit here with my father. Thank you for your kind words and prayers. Then I deal with the idea that ShareProphets and I run a shorting gang. It is libellous tosh. Then to the US election. I am almost ready to call both the Senate and the Presidency for the Dems. I called the House that way eons ago. I say almost and then discuss what that means for you and me.

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374 days ago

Tom Winnifrith Bearcast from Shipston - L&G needs to read about witch hunting in 1640s England

If the title is not immediately clear as to why it is relevant, listen to the podcast and it soon will be. 

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374 days ago

Tom Winnifrith Bearcast: Bastard Bankster Andy Hornby is today's unacceptable face of capitalism

Coming to you from Shipston, I discuss Andy Hornby and why he is a posterboy for the unacceptable face of capitalism at the Restaurant Group (RTN) and also the news from Cineworld (CINE) – told y’all! As the shares are set for a Monday crash, I discuss the systemic failure of the media to understand the issue at hand and especially the guilt of the Sunday Times in losing folks’ money.

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389 days ago

Tom Winnifrith Bearcast: More sleaze at cash strapped Versarien & a clever arb for morons who like SYME

I am in Shipston with my father and start by discussing how I deal with phone calls here. I look at another crazy Covid story then at Versarien (VRS), Amigo (AMGO), Vela (VELA), Falanx (FLX), Cineworld (CINE) and at a clever arb for fools like Zak Mir who believe in [email protected] Capital (SYME), that leading enterprise from the province of Norfolk.

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392 days ago

Tom Winnifrith Bearcast: Answering Malcolm's question in detail ref Optibiotix & Skinbiotherapeutics and gosh these Tories are dim

I am in a bit of a rush as I prepare to head to Shipston on family business. First though filling skips, making jam and gin, emptying the kitchen. Then I answer Malcolm’s question on target prices with reference to two companies you know well. Then it is onto the assumption made by dim Tories like Lucy Allan MP about how all members of certain industries would thrive without lockdown. I know the industry she refers to better than anyone and she’s taking horse. The same madness is demonstrated with the way the dim Tories chuck cash at Versarien (VRS), the folly of which I expose again today HERE.

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395 days ago

Tom Winnifrith Bearcast: No Dan my friend I can't sack Pete Brailey without proof!

Dan Levi makes grave charges about Peter Brailey today but has no proof. Peter says he will swear on oath the accusations are false so how on earth can I sack him? I am off to Shipston today clutching a DNA test kit but before going leave you with some words on Dev Clever (DEV), Urban Exposure (UEX), Eurasia Mining (EUA), Kefi (KEFI) and Red Rock Resources (RRR) where I hope Andrew Bell appreciates the literary imagery.

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408 days ago

A bearcast from Two Tom Winnifrith's: is this more Tory Innovate UK sleaze? This time it is Verditek

It is a father and son effort today from Shipston. On the agenda: Verditek (VDTK), Xtract Resources (XTR), and IQE (IQE).

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410 days ago

Tom Winnifrith postcard: A journey through England as Coronavirus madness stalks the land in September 2020

This is the third in this series. The first two podcasts are HERE and HERE. This time I pick up daughter Olaf on the way to Shipston, discuss young folk’s behaviour and then learn that the Government is introducing new, utterly bonkers and unjustified, restrictions on us all as it wilfully misinterprets data all over again.

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417 days ago

Photo Article from the Welsh Hovel - any old iron?

Back from my fathers’ and in need of exercise after six hours at the wheel with an all too brief break in Shipston, it was time to start tackling the scrap iron at the Welsh Hovel.

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424 days ago

Explaining the BBC’s reference to flags at the last Night of the Proms to a shocked father

My father is a lifelong Guardian reader but is now gleaning real news from a one-day-old copy of the Daily Mail provided by his enlightened carer E. There is talk of cancelling his subscription to the loss-making publication, founded on the profits of slavery, and while this may threaten the funding of latest restoration works on Polly Toynbee’s Tuscan castle, it would surely be a good thing. But despite this move out of the shadows, my father still has a touching faith in the Guardian’s broadcast sibling, the frightful BBC. But maybe even this has now been tested.

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451 days ago

Tom Winnifrith Bearcast: Explaining to Shipston's Buffett why he is not so smart after all & Mahmud does the right thing at Boohoo

A brief and early bearcast today, as I am heading off to Shipston to see my dad and with reference to the sterling price of gold, I have to explain why he is not quite as clever as he thinks. Then it is off to near the Coronavirus hotspot of Leicester to buy an antique wood burning stove. What exciting lives Joshua and I lead. I discuss where next for gold and why companies with no proven resource can be a play on gold & silver prices but are really just a gamble. I cite Alien Metals (UFO) as a case study. What a terrible dog. Then it is onto Mahmud Kamani, Boohoo.com (BOO), the slave labour allegations and today’s news. I read it as bad for the bears and good for Mahmud.

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479 days ago

Photo article: how to bribe Joshua to go to visit his Grandfather

My father has a very large strawberry bed and that, plus the extreme likelihood that my father’s carer E will have lots of chocolate to hand out, is enough to encourage my son to join me on a road trip to Shipston. Do not tell the lockdown jihadis in the Welsh Government but we broke through the border two days ago.

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565 days ago

Thank you Shipston – a nice gesture for my Dad in these days of Coronavirus

My old father has been bed bound in a downstairs room for m any months now. In these days of Coronavirus he can only speak to his children, step children and gerandchildren on the phone. His only human contact is with a team of masked carers who give him food and drink and do an amazing job of keeping him cheerful. And thus his 82nd birthday this weekend cannot have been his best. However…

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592 days ago

Tom Winnifrith Bearcast - oil price and coronavirus disasters ahead

In today’s podcast brought to you from Shipston I look at the oil price and what it means for a range of oil shares from the majors down to shitty little oil explorers on AIM. I then return to the coronavirus ex oil and with especial reference to Telit (TCM), Cineworld (CINE) and The Restaurant Group (RTN).. Finally I look at the proposed comeback of disgraced Neil Woodford.

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596 days ago

Tom Winnifrith Bearcast: Even Shipston's Buffett is starting to panic

I am indeed with my father in Shipston this morning and even he has noticed that he is not quite as rich as he was two weeks ago. Shiuld we pamic about our holdings? On balance I am not suggesting that you do but certain stocks do look very vulnerable. Surely profits warnings from Telit (TCM), IQE (IQE) and Carnival (CCL) are in the pipeline. Then there is the issue of companies such as Bidstack (BIDS) which need placings urgently. Just how possible is that going to be in the current climate. Then to Sirius (SXX). The Sunday papers seem to think that sh\areholders may well reject the Anglo bid and so lose everything. I discuss this looming calamity, who is to blame and what the impact localised and more widely will be.

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852 days ago

Forget Russian Bots, it is Dad’s Army that is to blame for Brexit – media luvvie Daisy Goodwin goes full Cadwalldr

You may have missed it but Nick Clegg, once a hero of remainiacs like crazy cat woman Carol Cadwalladr yesterday spelled it out loud and clear – Brexit was not caused by Russian meddling and the Cambridge Analytica story is total tosh. Natch the crazy cat lady and her deluded followers dismissed poor Mr Clegg as a merchant of fake news. For them facts are an inconvenient truth, a bit like Carole’s self written life story.

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964 days ago

Carer E returns from “meeting “ Donald Trump – my father a changed man

My father has been in a bad mood for almost three weeks as his lead carer, the saintly E, headed off for a holiday in Vietnam. E is a right thinking soul who backs all the causes that you, I and 99% of the population outside of London, Bristol and Oxford think perfectly sensible but which would get you tarred and feathered were you to mention on a University campus. For some reason she and my father, a faux progressive, get on like a house on fire.

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1084 days ago

Photo Article – is it stir up Sunday? It is here

My father’s sister L was visiting him in Shipston today and I mentioned that Joshua and I were going shopping ahead of making Christmas Puddings.  Is it Stir Up Sunday she asked. To be honest I had not given it that much thought but unlike, I suspect, most younger readers I do understand the reference.

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1090 days ago

Discussing the Iliad, the seven cities and the Greek Hovel with my father

On our last day in Greece, The Mrs, Joshua and I showed the Greek Hovel to an elderly British couple, diehard lefties from a village up in the mountains above Kambos. The highlight of their visit was ornithological of which more later but what I really picked up on was a throw-away comment that the area around the hovel might be one of the “seven Cities.” My father and I discussed this in Shipston on Sunday and have been chatting by phone ever since.

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1228 days ago

Surely even my father will not fall for Oxfam's lottery scam - an appeal to the stupid

One of the joy's of being in Shipston with my father is getting to answer the phone for him. "Is that Tom Winnifrith?" says someone from the numerous virtue signalling charities run by legions of grossly overpaid Guardian readers, who he supports with his cash. Truthfully I answer "yes." I am then treated to a long spiel about all the valuable work they are doing out in bongo bongo land followed by an appeal for an increased monthly donation.

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1298 days ago

Happy 80th Birthday Dad

My father knows why I am in New York rather than Shipston and approves so he has had to make do with a card (which has arrived) and a present (which has not). But he is aware of what it is, something that combines two of his great loves in life: Kent and cider. Fingers crossed it will arrive tomorrow.

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1337 days ago

For my father and I it was a great day as both our rugby teams won but its a history fail for the BBC

My father has been watching the rugby like a hawk. Here in Greece I have been unable to watch but have kept in touch via the internet and calling my father after each game. Now this may not go down well with England supporters but in an Irish supporting family it was a perfect team as both our favourite teams won.

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1371 days ago

Falling out with my father over his loathsome cat Obe

We have not really fallen out but I have had to rebuke the old man sternly. I am staying with him in Shipston to start recording his memoirs which are actually really very interesting, not so much the later life but the years 1938 to 1956. I am not sure what I will do with the recordings but they are part of my family history but also an interesting insight into the war years in so many ways. We have hanged British Nazis, my grandfather, Sir John Winnifrith, in Churchill's bunker, evacuation with the nanny, Mrs No Cow and much more to preserve for posterity.

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1413 days ago

Tom Winnifrith photo bearcast - the best of British, the worst of British this Christmastime

Excuse the late Bearcast but my journey back from my father's in Shipston in the snow covered Cotswolds was long and eventful as I discuss in this podcast. In a valley on the Road between Stow and Cheltenham I took part in and saw the best of selfless Britishness, folks acting with a true Christmas spirit. And also the worst, in spades. The photos give some idea of the scene as I explain what went on. Normal service resumes tomorrow.

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1503 days ago

My father: the best customer of the Bulgarian Big Issue seller in a silver Mercedes

My father attempts to hide his inner reactionary by ostentatiously being the best customer of the fat Bulgarian lady who, rather aggressively, sells the Big Issue outside the Co-Op in Shipston on Stour. Sometimes, in order to either annoy me or to demonstrate his PC credentials to my virtue signalling public sector (part time) working sisters he will buy two or three issues a month.This is not Alzheimer's he has always done it. He is the favourite "customer" of the great Bulgarian lardbucket.

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1504 days ago

Tom Winnifrith Bearcast: No wonder the British civil service was crawling with Russian Spies

If you forgive me I start with long conversations with my father about World War Two and the early fifties, his father, his mother's godfather's son (hanged as a Nazi) and other matters all prompted by watching an episode of Foyle's war last night. You need to have these chats while you still can and I thought they were interesting. We move on to why my father thinks he is Shipston's Buffett - yes the UK residential property bubble and we see yet more signs of utter madness from the FCA on this score. Martin Fagan, all those years ago, you were bang on the money. 

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1562 days ago

Photo Article - Dessert Gooseberry Crumble, not so good for the diabetes but...

As i explained earlier, it is my duty to pick fruit in the Shipston garden created by my father and late step-mother. And thus I cleansed most of the dessert goosberry bush.

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1562 days ago

Photo: Picking gooseberries in the glorious English Rain at Shipston - how I would miss our summer rains

In Greece the summer rains are violent. Dark clouds gather above the Taygetos Mountains above the Greek hovel or sometimes out to see in the bay of Kalamata. The wind starts to pick up and you can hear it unsettling the trees, after a while the rustling of the leaves is so loud it sends a clear warning of what is to come. Thunder booms loudly, you start to see lightning and before you know it the rain is pouring down. You can be drenched, a dripping rat, within a minute or so as the skies empty.

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1565 days ago

Tom Winnifrith Bearcast: there are too many Ethiopians in Sound Oil's Moroccan fuel store

I am with my father and he enjoys being part of bearcast so here is another one off. We start on the use of language and its misuse something which Dad and I talk about a lot. Thus there was Theresa May referring to THE cricket. And a fellow Tory MP who used a word she really should not have used in a phrase with a clear meaning. many said the phrase was racist. It was not it is the word that is, rightly, just not acceptable. That brings me to Sound Energy (SOU), Amur Minerals (AMC), MySquar (MYSQ) and Bagir (BAGR). I leave Shipston tonight so no more father and son bearcasts, regular podcasts will be back in September.

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1566 days ago

Tom Winnifritb Bearcast: lessons from Carillion, 88 Energy, MySQUAR and the faux political correctness of my father exposed

Here I am in Shipston with my father who enjoys bearcasts if they mention him so just for that reason I record again. His faux political correctness is exposed by the issue of coverage of women's cricket in The Guardian - the dreadful newspaper he has delivered to try to fool my family of public sector "working" lefties that he is one of them. In terms of the market I look at Carillion (CLLN) and 88 Energy (88E). Shares in both companies are collapsing today and I look at why and at what lessons folks should be learning. You could so easily have avoided losing money on both. Please note Malcolm Stacey and other Ocado (OCDO) bulls, lesson one on Carillion is for you. I also make it clear that while he may have some of the attributes of a Bulletin Board Moron as he showed HERE, Evil Knievil is not, in fact, a BBM, I was just joshing him when I suggested otherwise. En passant I look at MySquar (MYSQ) and explain why today's exposes HERE and HERE may refer to events a long time ago but are pertinent. 

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1659 days ago

Diary of a Diabetic day 6 - a very up and down 48 hours, here and in Shipston

I loathe flying. The truth is that it frightens me a bit. And so I usually have a drink or two in the hope that it knocks me out on the plane. But taking this type 2 diabetes seriously, there was no alcohol for me at Bristol airport on Friday. The place was crammed, largely with fat people flying Easyjet for stag and hen parties across Europe. The rotund stags and porcine hens were already drinking heavily by noon when the Mrs and I arrived and they were also stuffing their fat faces with processed junk food, aka sugar filled suicide sandwiches. I had a coffee.

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1661 days ago

Diary of a diabetic day 4 - I think I am getting better and so is my father

Day 2 of my battle to tackle type 2 diabetes showed just exactly why there was no way I could do so without shoving my keyboard in a cupboard and changing every aspect of my life. I had to go to London to do some expert witness business for a friend. So it was all on board the 4.47 AM having done a very early morning blood test which came out at 11.7 down from 15.3 the night before. I know that post fasting measures will be lower but even so: I was told those new zappo pills would work fast!

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1661 days ago

Tom Winnifrith Bearcast - not a day I want to repeat

There seems to be a lot happening and as a result this bearcast comes to you from Shipston. I will head back to London later tonight and hope to see you all at UK Investor Show tomorrow. Pro tem I comment on Corero (CNS), Minoan (MIN), Amryt (AMYT) and Wishbone (WSBN) - we own the last two on that list and are very happy to do so. I also comment on allegations made elsewhere by the "share blogger of the year." 

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1670 days ago

Saying Goodbye to my father...but, thank God, that was only a dress rehearsal: Good News from Warwick Hospital

The operation was set to start at noon so I headed in to see my father for quarter past eleven. In he wandered on his crutches wearing the most ridiculous surgical stockings and dressing gown. His garb invited ridicule but given the gravity of what was to happen I held back. 

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1670 days ago

A night at Shipston with just loathsome Obe for company

My father spent the night in hospital awaiting his operation later today. I head to Warwick later this morning to have a chat before he goes into surgery. Last night he kept himself amused reading a biography of Ted Heath that he had discovered on the ward. Poor Dad: has he not suffered enough? That left me alone in his house here in Shipston with only his cat Obe for company.

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1671 days ago

Tom Winnifrith Bearcast - sitting in Shipston it is Cloudtag day! Where is the ouzo Dad?

It seems as if  my father has drunk all the ouzo. Who can blame him? But how will I celebrate if the fraud Cloudtag (CTAG) is booted off AIM today? Join in the fun with our Cloudtag termination clock HERE. Elsewhere I look at Bowleven (BLVN), gosh I loathe its management team, Advanced Oncotherapy (AVO), also run by tossers, and Strategic Equity Capital (SEC).

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1687 days ago

Wales vs Ireland - at least Olaf is happy, I watched Miss Marple

My father was bracing himself all day and watched the rugby to the bitter end. Today he will be with the rest of Shipston's small Irish community in the Horseshoe drowning their sorrows and wishing Scotland the best of luck against the Old Enemy. I could not watch after half time such was my sense of foreboding and - to the delight of the Mrs - switched to watch a Miss Marple I had seen many times before. The Alzheimer's is still at bay, I knew the killer at once and even why he did it.

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1694 days ago

My father's reading material - we are a modest family

I arrive at Shipston where my father spends most of his time sitting in a big chair in the main room watching quality TV such as Midsommer Murders, where he is still able to spot the killer well before Inspector Barnaby. This is good. My father has watched most Midsommer's at least five times so when he cannot beat the fuzz to calling out the killer it will be a sign that Alzheimer's really is kicking in.

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1715 days ago

Photo Article: The Snow in Greece falls not only in the North

I gather from my father, Darren and the Mrs that it snowed a bit in Shipston, London and Bristol today. It was snowing in Metsovo this morning and the fields on the Anelion side of the vallet were all white. But in case you think that the snow falls only in the Northern Pindus mountains, have a butchers at this photo taken from the Northern side of the Gulf of Corinth at Patras. The bridge across the gulf is pretty spectacular but look on the other side. That is the Pelopponese.

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1721 days ago

Tom Winnifrith Delayed Bearcast from Saturday - I really have got to sack Nigel Somerville

For reasons explained year and all down to that snot gobbling bastard Bill Gates I have been offline for most of the weekend. So this bearcast was recorded on Saturday when, smarting from the defeat of the Old Country, I was minded to fire Nigel Somerville. Moving on from that I discuss inter alia: why London's most expensive clown at Fladgate needs to be put to the sword by ourselves and how we deal with unprincipled lawyers. I also covered a couple of other things but after a frantic 24 hours in Shipston I cannot, for the life of me remember what they were.  

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1747 days ago

Why can't the peasants eat pheasant (like me)? The lie that poor people are forced to eat junk food

The left would tell you that the lower life expectancy of poor folks is down to poverty forcing them into unhealthy lifestyle choices. I will gloss over the fact that more poorer folks smoke or drink heavily than the affluent although no-one forces them to do so and just focus on food. Junk food is expensive. Healthy food can be far cheaper.

When in Shipston, staying with my father, I bought two pheasants from the butcher, pre plucked at £5.99. I saw many folks in the local Co-Op who were happily loading their baskets with more expensive pre-prepared junk meals.

For the past two nights

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1755 days ago

Tom Winnifrith Bearcast: Insider Dealer fund manager Mark Lyttleton - the whole thing is a joke

City slicker Mark Lyttleton of BlackRock is behind bars this Christmas. But not for long enough. How he sinned tells us how bent the whole City is and the joke sentence shows that white collar crime really does pay. This podcast is recorded in Shipston with my father listening. As a stern lefty he would imprison all fund managers not just the crooked ones,

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1793 days ago

Tom Winnifrith Bearcast - Fund managers are not superhuman but dead cats can bounce

In today's bearcast recorded with my father as the audience, here in Shipston, I start with the Autumn Statement which gets 0/10 from  me. Then it is onto Sound Energy (SOU) and the issue of fund manager due diligence. Then Optibiotix (OPTI), FastJet (FJET), Mkango (MKA), African Potash (AFPO), Countrywide (CWD) and the global real estate asset class - yes a Manhattan penthouse and a terraced home in a grim Northern welfare safari slum are related!. Finally a few words about Paternoster Resources (PRS) and as a related issue New World Oil & Gas (NEW).

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1805 days ago

Photo Article: Four Christmas Puddings almost ready - thank you Darina & Myrtle Allen

You are meant to make your Christmas puddings six weeks before Christmas to allow them to age and mature and so, leaving it to the last possible moment I have now just done that. The recipe is from a cookbook from the Queen of Irish cooking the amazing Darina Allen although she says that it is from her mother in law Myrtle, the founder of Ballymaloe. I think that Myrtle is still with us though she must be 92 by now and I am lucky enough to have visited the famed cooking school near Cork several times.

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1811 days ago

Tom Winnifrith Bearcast: Crooked Hillary Clinton, Crooked Mosman and er ...MXC Capital

I record this podcast from Shipston where I have just rowed with my sister about A Levels and grade inflation which she denies in her Public Sector Ministry of Truth way.  Then it is onto the US election, the outcomes and what that means. I am afraid that after last night I have a bad feeling. Then it is onto MXC Capital (MXCP), Redcentric (RCN) and Mosman Oil & Gas (MSMN) where in America there would now be class actions underway. Quite right too.

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1813 days ago

Buy a poppy - but what about elf n'safey?

I am a reluctant poppy purchaser for reasons that i have discussed here but wandering into the Co-Op in my father's village of Shipston a little old lady stood outside offering me the chance to buy. As you would expect, here in the Warwickshire countryside, she was silent and dignified and with her tray looking rather too full I popped a quid in the tin and picked up a poppy.

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1814 days ago

The Guardian Front page fisked on Brexit mob - it is just a lie

I am with my father in Shipston and the old fool is still delighting in ordering the awful Guardian newspaper. Indeed it gives the deluded lefty real pleasure in torturing me by reading out articles which even he accepts are complete and utter nonsense. Let's start with today's front page splash: "May told to act to calm Brexit "mob" anger. Hmmm.

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1889 days ago

Labour scoundrel Tessa Jowell blames Brexit for future Olympic failure - what a silly woman

Tessa Jowell was the woman who publicly ditched her husband David Mills as he became embroiled in a Silvio Berlusconi corruption scandal. Mills was exiled to my father's village of Shipston where the socialist millionaires kept a country farm as a compliment to their North London mansion. Jowell got to stay with the urban sophisticates. Out here in the boonies folks did not buy the seperation story as la Jowell kept on making appearances up here and, lo and behold, after Tessa's political career came to an end there was a miraculous reconciliation with Mills. The political elite actuallythink that we are so stupid that we buy this sort of horseshit don't they? Now Tessa makes the most bonkers of claims regarding TeamGB and its Olympics success.

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1890 days ago

12.15 at the White Bear - a big day for my father

After his fall and hip operation my father returned home to Shipston nine days ago. I pitched up six days ago and we started a daily routine of two "walks" a day then with the carrot being an ability to get to the white bear. Dad is now walking on crutches and gradually the walks have got longer.

Yesterday his two walks, 

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1894 days ago

My father takes his first outside walk since his fall ...the carrot approach

The physios are due later today and my father must report to them on his progress since his return from Warwick hospital. E, the delightfully right wing lady who comes twice a day to care for him and I told him firmly that he needed to truthfully demonstrate that he was on the mend. That was the stick. The carrot is the idea that he could walk to the White Bear again...that would be about 400 yards down Sheet Street and across the main square in Shipston.

And so he is in training. 

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1894 days ago

Talk about filial devotion: I have to go buy a Guardian in public again

For the third day, despite receiving clear instructions to deliver the loathsome Guardian Newspaper to my father here in Shipston and despite promising to do so, the Newsagent has failed. And that means that I must again head down to the shop in a few minutes to pick up the rag.

I shall explain loudly

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1895 days ago

Tom Winnifrith Bearcast, Great News from Shipston so over to Steve

Great news - may father is back home from hospital so I head back up to Warwickshire in a couple of days. Thereafter between him and the Mrs entering the final month it will be less of me, Steve Moore is in charge. Bash him if anything goes wrong. In today's podcast I look at City of London (CIN), IGAS (IGAS), XCite Energy (XEL), Wishbone Gold (WSBN), Nyota (NYO) and West African Minerals (WAFM).

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1897 days ago

Photo Article - summer pudding improvisation with a hat tip to Darina Allen

I noted in my culinary bible that is a Darina Allen tome a recipe for summer pudding without raspberries. Darina uses cake as her padding I stick with the traditional white bread. Armed with the last of the blackcurrants from Shipston as well as the last of the dessert gooseberries I started to improvise. Having cooked both fruit until they popped in sugar water the overwhelming taste was blackcurrant. The juice was like concentrated ribena. But cripes there was not enough mixture for both bowls.

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1902 days ago

It was 30 years ago today: names and images pop up on my mental google map of Warwickshire

And thus I have found myself in Warwickshire again. As I headed up to Warwick hospital on Friday my route to my father's was not the normal Cotswold spin but a more Westerley trek. New road signs, new memories. It was thirty years ago today...

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1902 days ago

Getting old, my father falls, back to Shipston

I came back from Greece on July 2nd and then spent barely five days away from Shipston in that month. My step mother died on the 14th and was buried nine days later. My father, in his old world way, did not "emote" as all around him wept. He said almost nothing. I have no idea what he was thinking or is thinking. One big question was how, when he was finally left alone, would he cope? I worried.

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1905 days ago

Tom Winnifrith Bearcast: Nightmares arrive in threes: The Mother in law at 5 PM, Avanti and African Potash

Oakley and I are bracing ourselves for the arrival of the mother in law. Wish us luck. At least I can flee to Shipston tomorrow, my poor cat is trapped with his Pokemon. Then I look at Avanti Communications (AVN) where the shares are surging on the back of an FT report - is this bogus? I look at Messaging International (MES) where I am not interested even after the fall, Magnolia Petroleum (MAGP) and a sector read across from the dire news earlier (HERE), Scotgold (SGZ), Johnston Press (JPR) and then do some detailed maths on African Potash (AFPO) and the loan from the FD's wife which could kill it stone dead on September 1.

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1914 days ago

My father books a cruise - profits warning alert for Fred Olsen lines after drinks offer

Dad and I are now into a good routine here in Shipston. He does not say much about my late step mum but he is getting a task done each day, sorting out his papers, her papers, probate, making a few plans, writing stern memos in his semi legible drunken spider handwriting. On Saturday I head back to the Mrs - who is now at 34 weeks - for a Bristol break and he will have his first time trying to cope alone without his cook and companion. We have a few folks popping in to see him during the six days before I return and we shall see how it all goes.

Plans have been made

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1918 days ago

Tom Winnifrith Bearcast: Mad Bull Malcolm Stacey just so wrong about the stockmarket (again!)

I am at my father's house in Shipston for my step mother's funeral. Their garden is magnificent and it is a wonderful day in this pretty Warwickshire town. Ahead of that I have a few words on the latest bullish offering from Malcolm Stacey - HERE. Malcolm is just plain wrong.

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1919 days ago

Tom Winnifrith Bearcast - looking back to 2001 and forward to 5PM today

I start by looking at the collapse of Crowdmix and how it so remoinds me of 2001 and what is says about the tech bubble, someting that is very much on my mind right now, as you can see HERE. Then I look forward to tomorrow in Shipston but more imprtantly to the demise, later today, of Worthington (WRN). I cover Ariana Resources (AAU) where I am cross and puzzled, Advanced Oncotherapy (AVO) - how is the placing going Belfort? - Weatherley (WTI) and Ferrum Crescent (FCR)

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1925 days ago

Tom Winnifrith Bearcast: Avanti Communications bull vs bear

I had the weirdest of phone calls on Friday from a chap who insists that as a bear of Avanti Communications (AVN) I have got it wrong. I have spoken about his thesis to Lucian and having thought about it over lunch at the White Bear having run the gauntlet of Shipston's Bulgarian Big Issue seller, I am more sure than before that I am not wrong to remain bearish. I discuss the bull vs bear debate giving both sides of the argument and my conclusion.

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1926 days ago

It was 40 years ago today, well not quite: back at Warwick School via Myton hospice

The route from Shipston to the hospice in Myton takes you past Warwick School which I attended between eight and eighteen. As I headed back to my father yesterday, having picked up the effects of my step mother and a death certificate, curiosity got the better of me and I swung left into the Car Park of the Junior School which cares for you between 7 and 11. 

The place has changed beyond all recognition. It is far smarter and more developed than in my day when three of the classrooms (those of Miss Jagger, Mr Wilkins and Mrs Birt) were portacabins. Some things remain. There are wickets painted in white on the wall of what was "the New Gym" but is now the Sports Centre which faces on the junior school playground. Or what is now the playground, we used to have two. The second, where the violent game of British Bulldog, now I am sure banned, was played is now a car park.

As I looked at the video display on the wall of another new building, I saw pictures of boys on ski trips and school trips to Russia and India. In my day it was Telford Gorge or the Museums in London or maybe just a short walk up to Warwick Castle. 

The old outdoor pool has gone, replaced by an indoor facility. Political correctness

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1927 days ago

Writing about death and family then it happens for real

I was just writing about the subject of writing about death when the call came. My father and I had said goodbye to my step mother twice yesterday but by the afternoon he was not sure if she took it in. By 11 PM she was unconscious and so today my father, sister N and I just sat in Shipston joking and laughing about times gone by and the political pantomime and not mentioning what was going on fifteen miles away in Myton.

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1928 days ago

What is it with the younger generation? Now they can't find a row of beans?

Having recently noted the failure of my step brother T and the Mrs, collectively the younger generation, to know what a potato plant looks like, I suggest to my father that I might include broad beans in his supper tonight. "All gone" he says. "Really?" I responded "who said so?" er...it was your step brother T.

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1930 days ago

The dreaded call has arrived - everything clicks into autopilot as I rush to Shipston

"How are you?". it was my little step sister Flea. Rather fearing the reason for the call I cannot remember what I said other than to ask why the call at noon on a Monday. It was her mother, my step mother, and the call I was rather dreading. Things had got worse overnight, dramatically so, and my step siblings were all rushing to the hospice. My father had his own hospital appointments today with my stern and sober sister the Doctor very much in charge. For all sorts of reasons he will need a drink or two tonight.

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1931 days ago

Photo Article: here you go its gooseberry and rhubarb crumble

As I mentioned at some stage last week my step mother is keen that fruit from the garden in Shipston does not go to waste. And so I returned home for an all too brief weekend in Bristol with a punnet of gooseberries that I had picked. Oakley's friend Tara was buried beneath the rhubarb earlier this year and, I apologise if you regard this as tasteless but it had come up amazingly.

Hence below

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1932 days ago

My father and the Bulgarian big issue seller in Shipston

It was Friday at noon and for some reason logistics had become muddled and my father and I were at a loose end. There was only one solution: the White Bear and two pints of cider. As we headed down Sheep Street with my father leaning on his strollator being overtaken by tortoises and little old ladies on their strollators, the old boy piped up with "Its Big Issue day, I can buy a copy off the Bulgarian lady."

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1937 days ago

Back in Warwickshire, Almost Everything changes in three weeks

The first big shock was when our car pulled up outside my father's house in Shipston. Up ambled by step brother T who greeted us warmly and then up strode a rather sexy looking woman who I did not recognise at all. Had T found a new wife and not told us? The old rogue. These teachers: we know what they get up to in all their vast amounts of spare time and holidays. Reading weeks my arse. So who was this stranger?

It was only when she started speaking that I realised it was my step sister L. Shockingly she has not only cut her long hair but also stopped dying it brown and is now - like her mother and brother completely grey. It is odd how that change of hair colour and style acts as a total disguise. I must remember that, the next time the FCA tries to stitch me up and forces me to go on the run.

The was not the real shock though.

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2092 days ago

Tom Winnifrith Bearcast 30 Jan - recorded with Shipston's Buffett

Yes once again I record with my father listening as he takes a rare break from crowing about his investment skills thanks to him owning a house. In this podcast I cover the real - and falling value of shells. Folks are just deluded if they think they are worth £500,000 even if utterly clean. Then I look at a few lessons from Peer TV (PTV) where fraud took place and I also cover Servision (SEV) once again with a warning that I have more. Those of a sensitive left wing disposition may be offended by a few jokes at the expense of my father and step mother.

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2136 days ago

Tom Winnifrith Bearcast 17 December - Concha another day of shame for AIM

I am sitting here with my father in Shipston. We have just had a long argument about the deaths of Cranmer, Latimer & Ridley. Naturally we both insisted we had the facts right. I am now 1p better off as I was right. My father has gone to the White Bear early in protest. Back to the podcast, I start with US base rates and why the UK will follow and what that means (house price crash, bad for certain equities). Then it is the AIM disgrace of the day Concha (CHA), onto Afriag (AFRI), Inspirit (INSP), Ultimate Sports (USG), Fastjet (FJET), and the shocker of a July IPO Adgorithms (ADGO). It is another day of shame for AIM.

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2167 days ago

Tom Winnifrith Bearcast 16 November: David Lenigas is not the only one in my sights

I am in Shipston with my father who has just won a premium bond. I discuss this ahead of spending it in the White Bear. Also how I deal with charities who call him. Then it is onto David Lenigas at the start with Lenigas Cuba (CUBA) and at the end with Rare Earth Minerals (REM). In between I look at Velox3 (VLOX), Juridica (JIL), Oilex (OEX), Phorm (PHRM), JQW (FRAUD), my anger at Reach4Entertainment (R4E), Paragon Diamonds (PRG) and I give Northern Petroleum (NOP) a well deserved kicking. Warning - this podcast contains strong language which some may find offensive. C'est la vie. 

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2169 days ago

Back with my Dad – here have the Amnesty Christmas Catalogue he says

And so I am back in Shipston with the deluded lefties, my father and step mother. On Syria, Jihadi John, supermarket waste we, rather alarmingly, find ourselves in agreement. But then they produce the Amnesty Christmas catalogue. My heart sinks.

Amnesty thinks the US is evil for executing its own citizens. The Saudis can do no wrong even though on a per capita basis they are top of the execution pops. Amnesty loves the Palestinians and loathes the Israelis. I ask where is the tea towel celebrating Gaza gay pride? My step mother is not impressed.

My father has marked me down for a book called something like

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2203 days ago

Tom Winnifrith Bearcast 12 October: jokes, jokes, jokes

I am staying wth my father and lefty step mother in Shipston and so there are a string of jokes at his expense. Talking of jokes I mention, en passant, Sefton Resources (SER) but also the total joke that is Golden Saint Resources (GSR). Then there is BBA (BBA), Telit Communications (TCM), Surgical Innovations (SUN) - cue predictable Zak Mir joke -  and eServGlobal (ESG). Finally I comment on Adgorithms (ADGO) and flag up superb Peel Hunt research HERE

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2235 days ago

Tom Winnifrith Bearcast 10 September - falling down the stairs

A relatively short podcast today from Shipston in Warwickshire as I am recovering from falling down the stairs. No. Before you ask, I was sober as a judge. On the agenda today: a chat with Nigel Wray, Sefton Resources (SER), Gable (GAH), Herencia Resources (HER), China Chaintek (CTEK) and Tern. I forgot to mention Audioboom (BOOM) - more on that tomorrow.

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2283 days ago

Photos from Shipston: Note to the Mrs, Raspberries don't grow in Tesco's punnets

The Mrs and I are separated by two great divides.  The first is that she is a deluded lefty who belies in the State rather than the individual and that capitalism is the root of all evil rather than the engine of mankind’s progression whereas I am a libertarian. The second is that she is a townie who has never lived where I grew up, the country.

So though an enthusiastic meat eater she recoils at the idea of killing anything. I find it easy. And I sometimes think that she thinks that raspberries and potatoes grow in punnets at Tesco. So just for her a couple of pictures…

My father’s garden in Shipston is full of life. And so there are raspberries a plenty to pick, the last of the potatoes and strawberries, red currants, black currants and still to come gooseberries and yet more raspberries.

Note to the Mrs & other townies:

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2320 days ago

Tom Winnifrith Bearcast - 17 June, going down memory lane

Coming to you today from Shipston in Warwickshire I start with a wander down memory lane. That is Mr nice guy. Then it is back to my true self as I plunge the knife into Sefton Resources and Goldplat and sit on the fence on Ten Alps now that Luke Johnson is on board. That flip flop Ben Turney is just too charitable.

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2472 days ago

Back in the garage and a message to my father about the cold weather & global warming

Back in Bristol and the cats are in disgrace for weeing on the doormat and the temperature is minus something. The Mrs is not sympathetic and I am back in the garage at my desk wearing a thick coat, hugging my heater and still freezing. I suggested to the Mrs that the cats be forced to join me as punishment but she said that would be cruel. And so I suffer alone.

At the tobacconists the Daily Express warns of snowfall across the country and of freezing conditions. I point this out to the Mrs on my return but she thinks this is just right wing propaganda and I must continue to work in the garage.

The Daily Telegraph warns its readers 

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2799 days ago

The New Media Thought Police March once again in Margate, Kent.

Once again the fascist bully boys of the Kent Police are stamping out on new media thought crime. This force has “form” when it comes to Orwellian oppression of thought crime but in Margate this week they have surpassed themselves. 

In the sleepy seaside town there is a plan to build a new Tesco. As ever in such matters, opinion is divided. The plebs want cheap turkey twizzlers and jobs and so are in favour. The middle classes fear that the small stores where they pay over the odds for their sundried Tuscan tomatoes may be shut down and so are against. Such was the debate in my parents’ home town of Shipston last year where my deluded lefty father and step-mother were naturally wanting to screw the poor along with their fellow Guardian readers who, for once, stood firm alongside Nimby Tory Toffs. Sadly this unholy alliance prevailed and so the shops where they buy their quail has been saved while the folks on the Council Estates are deprived of both consumer choice and jobs. Chianti’s all round.

Over in Margate battle lines are similar

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2820 days ago

The Chinese signs at Moreton-in-Marsh Train Station

Saturday night in Shipston with my father and step mother entails a trip to Moreton-in-Marsh train station. It is a non-descript station in a pretty little Cotswold town. I have happy memories of arriving there around this time last year with snow so deep that there was no way to get to Shipston. Thankfully there was room at the (Bell) Inn and a landlord prepared to wait up for my delayed train.

This time there were no such snags but, since he could not be late for Church, my father dropped me off thirty minutes before the departure of the 10.11 to Oxford. All rooms at the station were locked so it was a chilly half an hour. The only thing of note at this station is that the signs for taxis, buses, toilets etc are in both English and a language which is, I think, Chinese but may be Japanese.

This seems harmless enough but I wonder of any local person might explain to me why there is such a pressing need for signs in Chinese or Japanese or whatever it is? Is there a big hidden demographic I have missed or something about the local economy of which I am utterly ignorant? I see the signs as a harmless eccentric and am just curious to know the reasoning behind them. 

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2925 days ago

Friday Caption Contest on a Sunday – the Church of England on Finance Issue

My father has done more than his fair share of work as Treasurer of the Shipston Parish. Its finances are okay – thanks in good part to my father handing over far too much of his dosh – but the finances of the wider C of E are a shambolic disaster. The reason is that it is a failing organisation – it keeps on losing customers to the grim reaper, other faiths and sects or to apathy and it is not replacing them.

One reason for this may be that the Church, like other once respected bodies such as the National Trust and the RSPCA seems intent on straying off its core patch. All three of these bodies have made themselves look ridiculous with their pronouncements on matters such as global warming and hunting of animals. But they just cannot help themselves.

And thus the Archbishop of Canterbury has today waded into the energy price debate telling companies that they should sacrifice profits by cutting prices ( prices agreed with the regulator) so folks are less badly off. Why not instead cut this Government’s ludicrous energy taxes imposed to help reduce our carbon footprint? Er…. Because the Church still thinks the planet is getting warmer (even though we are now in year 16 of cooling).

This is not a moral point the Church and the Archbishop is making but a political one.

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2952 days ago

Boycott Oxfam & The Independent – they are official global warning loons

I do not normally read The Independent as it is a dire newspaper pandering to deluded lefties like my entire family (bar step sister Flea and Chris Booker) by printing utter bilge. But, for your sake dear readers, I prepared the sick bag to read one stormer of an article today. It defies belief.

The headline reads: Aid groups warn of growing hunger and disease as planet warms

Fantastic, maybe those Scottish moors I bought to grow vines on will prove a stunning investment after all?

Greatly encouraged I read on as the Indescribablyboring newspaper continued:

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3065 days ago

My busiest day ever on TomWinnifrith.com & the Downing Street Affair – asking Sir George

It seems as if Sunday 2nd June 2013 was the busiest day in the history of this blog – a happy first anniversary. More than 42,000 page impressions in one day is about the same as I enjoyed in the whole of the first eight weeks of this site.  Of course I know that it is nothing to do with this being my first anniversary and all to do with those magic words #DowningStreetAffair.

Right now I sit onboard the 21.42 from Paddington heading for a few days with my father and step mother, the arch deluded lefties of Shipston on Stour. I appeared to be in everyone’s good books for volunteering to baby sit for step sister Flea on Wednesday.  As an added benefit, by the time I had volunteered she already had another offer and so I am off the hook.

However I now appear to have regained evil son status by suggesting that my Step Mother phones her brother Sir George Young asking him for his take on the Downing Street affair. Apparently this was not considered funny – I was only kidding.

Apparently I am still suspected of selling some story about “wicked Uncle George” (being a Tory he is naturally considered wicked in my family) to Private Eye about 20 years ago. On that occasion I was blameless. But I suspect folks are right not to bank on my discretion were Sir George to spill the beans. Not that most of us won’t already know all by the morning as twitter and the foreign press force Call Me Dave to come clean.

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3088 days ago

Paddington Bears & Foxy Rebecca S-H

And so it is off to see the deluded lefties of Sheep Street, my family in Shipston, Warwickshire. It should be an easy enough trip from Paddington to Moreton in the Marsh on the 7.22. But that assumes that First Great Western are remotely competent. Oh no.

At 7.15 we were warned of 20 minutes delays due to “a failure of railside equipment” at Hayes. At 8 PM it was 35 minutes. And so on. It is now 9.24 PM and at least I am now on the train but I doubt, if my taxi driver is still awake at Moreton that I will make it to Sheep Street before midnight. First Great Western I detest you.

And so how to kill almost three hours at Paddington? I have written a couple of pieces which, like this, I shall load on Friday. But by chance I bumped into a well-known bear (who else would you meet at Paddington) and so we enjoyed a drink and a discussion about Quindell (QPP) and Cupid (CUP). I sense things are moving apace on both stocks, both of which – as it happens are represented by foxy PR bird Rebecca S-H. She does know how to pick ‘em.

More on both of those fine upstanding members of the AIM cesspit community to follow.

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3159 days ago

Friday Caption Contest - I cannot remember when I forgot to remember about the sex pest Edition

There is only one story this week: when did Nick Clegg know that his leading party official not only looked like Jabba The Hut but, allegedly, shared his views on career advancement for women.

My caption for this one is: So Princess Leia how would you like to be a Lib Dem MP?

And so in honour of this episode and to win a Chris Huhne Liar! Criminal! T-shirt I ask you for captions to the picture below.

Remember that you can also buy the Chris Huhne special T-shirt as well as a “Justice 4 the Sefton 2” T-shirt, mug or hoodie exclusively at our online store.

For what it is worth my caption is

Salesman: Sir, If you want to fit in the entire Parliamentary Lib Dem party after 2015 you will need to buy the 4 seat model

Or alternatively:

Chris wanted you to look after his car whilst he is off the road and says do not worry about speed cameras he knows a sure fire way to get around the system””

If you can do better post your entries in the comments section below.

Last week I asked you for captions for this picture of the Horse belonging to queen welfare scrounger Heather Frost .

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3166 days ago

Friday Caption Contest – How Heather Frost spends your taxes edition. Giddy Up

I sense that Heather Frost, the welfare scrounger who breeds like a rabbit and says that a new free £400,000 eco mansion may not be good enough for her has made one or two of us want to vent a bit. I am sure that you have not forgotten the story here.

As such while I was tempted to run a photo of Call Me Dave in his new Indian headgear instead I bring you a picture of what Ms Frost spends £200 a month of YOUR money on. No it is not a juror in the Chris Huhne trial (far too bright for that) it is her horse.

The prize for the wittiest caption posted in the comments section below is am Its Time to Leave T-shirt. You can, of course, buy your very own It’s Time to Leave T-shirt here.

For what it is worth my entry is:

“It’s not just Dobbin who is being taken for a ride every day of the week by Heather Frost”

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3177 days ago

Global warming now falling thick and fast in Shipston – am I travel cursed?

Every time I come here it seems to snow. My deluded lefty step mother, who ticked me off earlier today for referring to global warming as opposed to climate change, is now safely in bed. The cat & I have thus switched the heating on full blast as an inch of global warming, oops, sorry 2.54 centimetres of climate change has now fallen. Needless to say I am travelling back to London tomorrow and so expect wholesale travel chaos. I feel cursed.

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3178 days ago

Ireland vs. England – God vs. Pub

Lo and behold a resurgent Wales beat the Froggies (who are now 0 from 2 but were pre tournament favourites), Scotland thrash Italy in what was meant to be the wooden spoon game and today’s match in Dublin could be the Championship decider. Although I would not rule the sheep shaggers (Welsh department) out yet.

England are, of course, the old enemy and when they arrive in Dublin full of swagger and arrogance as they do now, the desire for victory is greater than ever. And there is also the romance: in Brian O’Driscoll’s last season of six nations rugby might the men in green pull off a famous victory? If they play as they did in the first half against Wales they might win. Play as they did in the second half and there will be misery in Sheep Street, Shipston.

For I am back with my deluded lefty father and step mother. It is the former who brought me up to support “the Old Country.” For me tomorrow afternoon is a simple matter. Lunch. Then the White Bear to watch West Ham away at Villa. And shortly before 3 my father will arrive. I shall remove my West Ham hoodie to reveal an Irish shirt, we will switch bars and off we go.

My father has a dilemma. At 4 PM my step mum is preaching in Shipston Church. If Ireland are behind he will not want to watch and will head off to Church to pray for a BOD inspired comeback. If it is even Stevens he has assured my step mum that he will go to Church where he will pray earnestly for an Irish victory. So, I asked him: what if Ireland are 50 points ahead with 30 minutes to go: God vs. Pub, a chance to watch a famous victory with your son, the landlord ( also wearing green) and a bunch of miserable England supporters, or your second church service of the day? Hmmm. He admitted that would be a tough call. But it is – sadly – also an unlikely scenario.

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3184 days ago

Friday Caption Contest (on Sunday) – Conservative 2015 Election Triumph Strategy Edition

Apologies for the delay in the Friday caption contest – it is all Zak Mir’s fault.

I really cannot think of anything particularly important to prompt tasteless caption entries this week and so fall back on the issue which George Osborne says will be at the heart of the next Tory manifesto and which is guaranteed to bring the faithful back to the Conservative fold.

As you know, I would allow gay marriage. But I cannot say that it is the number one issue on my mind right now. The way that the Tory party is tearing itself apart with half its MPs revealing themselves as knuckleheaded bigots while the other half show themselves as being even more out of touch by making this such a number one priority is almost comical. If the Tories are to tear themselves apart at least they could do it over something that matters like the EU or the fact that Britain is going bankrupt.

Anyhow, to win an “It’s time to leave” T-shirt please post your captions in the comments box below (Jon Pickles, this has to be an easy Prince Harry one for you)

You can, of course, buy your own It’s Time to Leave T-shirt, hoodie, mug or thermos flask here.

For what it is worth my entry is:

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3191 days ago

Delight in Sheep Street Shipston – should I flog my father’s house without telling him?

The Sunday Times has a feature this week on the top ten towns in Britain to live in because that they still have a thriving Town Centre having battled off the wicked supermarkets. Put another way: the top ten twee towns for the Middle Classes to live in nice houses and who cares about the jobless plebs who can’t get cheap food anyway. Naturally, following last week, Shipston in Warwickshire is in there. And as a bonus…

Perhaps as a reward for the leading role played by my step mother in the screw the plebs and Tesco campaign, Sheep Street where my father and step mother own a house is the most desirable street in Shipston. Naturally as a wicked right winger, I note the looming property bubble, I have put my father’s house up for sale without telling him. I will break the good news to him later.

NB. If comrade Kenner, Shipston labour councillor or any other dumb leftie is reading this, that last line was a joke. Following Brother Kenner’s last contribution here, I feel the need to point that out, patronising though it may seem.

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3193 days ago

Friday caption contest - Shipston on Stour Edition

I am not sure if this story is sponsored by the Shipston Middle classes who wish to deprive the Shipston plebs of affordable housing, cheap Turkey twizzlers and above all jobs, or by the coalition as we enter a triple dip recession.

On balance, having put Shipston on the map this one is in honour of the unholy alliance of deluded middle class lefties and Tory Toffs in Warwickshire who stopped Tesco from opening a store in the town where my father and step mother (deluded lefties) live.

I write about this here about 24 hours ago.

To win a “It’s Time to Leave” T-shirt which in this period of intense global warming will be extremely useful, simply post your entries to the picture below.

You can, of course, buy your own It’s Time to Leave T-shirt, sweatshirt, hoodie, mug or thermos flask in my online store here.

My entry is: “Someone spreads a vicous rumour on the Council Estates that the Shipston venison and pheasant shop is selling turkey twizzlers at half price in the name of diversity and choice”

Last week I asked you for your captions to this picture.

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3194 days ago

Breaking News: Deluded Middle Class Lefties and Tory Toffs screw the plebs and Tesco in Shipston

An excited email arrives from my deluded lefty step mother Helen (sister of Tory Toff Sir George Young) – Stratford Council in Warwickshire has tonight thrown out plans for a big Tesco on the edge of Shipston-on-Stour. The unholy alliance of deluded Middle class lefties and the Tory Toffs has won.

And so there will no new jobs created for the plebs on the council estates. The residents of Shipston will continue to be served by two Co-ops that are not that cheap and have a limited choice as well as by the two butchers where the Tory Toffs and my dad can buy pheasant, quail, expensive lamb and pork and not care about paying over the odds because they can afford it. The plebs who were hoping for a place to get a wide choice of cheap Turkey twizzlers will be disappointed.

So no jobs and no choice of cheap turkey twizzlers for the plebs. No planning gain which would have created some affordable and rented housing for the plebs. The articulate middle class lefties and Tory Toffs have won the debate and can still choose which butcher to buy their quail from and life goes on. The Tory Toffs are naturally wicked and hate the poor. We all know that. The deluded Middle class lefties are tonight celebrating preserving the “community” and “diversity” of this small market town. But it is a community that many folks are financially excluded from. It is a diversity the plebs cannot afford to enjoy.

It has made my step mother very happy. That makes me happy. But it was the wrong result for those at the bottom of the heap. Capitalism could have assisted them. When capitalism is blocked to preserve the vested interests of those who are affluent it always makes the poor poorer.

As a non Guardian reader I am not meant to care about the plebs. That is meant to be the preserve of deluded middle class lefties. But in reality….

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3198 days ago

The 8.04 from Temple Meade – more fun in the global warming

It was meant to be the 8 PM. But it was late. I am on my way to Warwickshire on family business. The main line up to Didcot seems problem free. After that it gets worse as it is snowing again. I think I can make it though by train to Moreton-in-Marsh but that is where my problems begin. My father is the world’s worst driver in perfect conditions. After dark? In the snow? Forget it. And so how to get to Shipston-on-Stour? This is an Agatha Christie murder in the Cotswolds vicarage in the bleak midwinter – sort of Roger Ackroyd but in Warwickshire.

Perhaps I might already have hidden my cross country skis behind the railings at Moreton and just speed over the hills to Shipston? There is more chance of that than of getting a taxi. Nine firms tried, four answered and that was only to say that “it is snowing, good night.” Maybe I might hitch a lift if there is anyone else mad enough to travel on a train into rural white-out tonight?

Let’s be realistic. I have booked into the Bell Inn for the night. A roaring fire. A stiff whiskey from the landlord who keeps looking out over the wintry fields with a worried eye. The mystery blonde woman of a certain age in the corner with her plain, but attractive, hen pecked daughter. And there is a report that David Mills has escaped from Tessa Jowell’s farmouse retreat near Shipston and is on the loose. Who is that Italian gentleman in the corner who keeps on mumbling about Rubies?

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3236 days ago

My Family of deluded Lefties Shipston Update

I am again engaged on family matters and so sitting in Shipston with my father. He is aware that i am about to report back on today’s deluded lefty activities from my family. They are (with the glorious exception of little step sister Flea) utterly deluded.

We will shortly light the fire here. It is freezing. My Dad trousers his pensioner’s winter fuel allowance but amid a heated debate about global warming the actual heating is never switched on. I have tweaked the dial without telling him. It is still freezing. And so yesterday’s Guardian will once again start its useful life in a few minutes with Toynbee’s gibberish and the rest going up in smoke.

But there is, I am proud to reveal, another useful purpose for the BBC’s sister publication.

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3237 days ago

Fraccing Gets Green Light, More gas so bills go up? Blame the EU and UK Global Warming Nutters

Hooray, the UK is once again to allow fraccing. This is a process that allows gas to be released from shale rocks. And we are sitting on vast reserves. We could quite plausibly have discovered a new resource equivalent to 25% of our North Sea gas reserves. Perhaps there is even more as exploration to date has been limited. So I guess that means that gas bills ( $10 mmBTu) will fall to US levels ($3mmBtu) – in the US fraccing means that the country has massive supplies of gas. Er…no. If we exploit this gas fully gas prices will go up. Such insanity can only come from global warming nutters and the EU. Of course it does.

David Kennedy of the “Climate Change Committee” a Quango which spouts hot air on climate change to validate the coalitions’ crackpot wind farm policies explained it all on radio 4 this morning. If we exploit no gas then fuel bills will increase by £100 by 2010 because we are being forced to pay to subsidise wind and solar power projects. These projects are far less efficient producers of power than natural gas power stations.

If however we use that gas then bills go up by £600 per family

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3241 days ago

Victorian Christmas Street Fair Shipston

I am spending more time these days in Shipston-on-Stour in southern Warwickshire where my father lives with my (not wicked but just deluded lefty) step mother. I could not live there full time. The average age is about 97 and everyone seems to know who everyone else is. I just want to be left alone. But walking along with my father between the White Bear (his “office”) and home about once a minute there is a greeting of “Morning Professor”. Dad was not actually a professor just a senior lecturer but he looks the part.

Friday evening saw the Victorian street fair. Some folks dressed up in 19th century garb. There were clowns on stilts and a brass band blasted out all those Christmas carols you remember from childhood. Truly it was freezing and felt like it was very much the Bleak Midwinter. All the local societies had stalls. Naturally the Cats Protection League was my fave but

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3249 days ago

Why cannot my Deluded Lefty Dad say no!

I have spent the day with my father at Shipston in Warwickshire. A landslide somewhere near Worcester meant that my route was a the “scenic” one but we have enjoyed a happy afternoon chatting about various family matters. Our conversation was, however, interrupted by a series of phone calls and knocks on the door – my father is a victim of his inability to say no.

First up was some bird trying to persuade him to fit new plastic windows and plastic doors. Given that his house was built in 1692 this was clearly a pointless call. Of course if Dad had told her that last time she called rather than just listening patiently and saying eventually “ this is not a good time” she would not have bothered with this call. Next up was Christian Aid to whom my Dad already gives a fortune by Standing Order. Christian Aid called to say it needs more to help starving people in Africa, blah, blah, blah. Unluckily for it, when it asked for Mr T Winnifrith it got me.

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