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A Problem with the Conservative Club

Tom Winnifrith
Saturday 14 December 2013

I have yet to have my formal interview with the local Conservative Club which I joined last weekend while the Mrs (the woman formerly known as the Deluded Lefty) was away.  But I remain confident that, unlike Call Me Dave, I can say honestly that I believe in low taxes, law and order, individual responsibility, a Small state, fiscal responsibility, etc. and will walk the quiz. And so as I strolled in tonight I was welcomed with open arms. Clearly word has spread.

As you, dear readers, know, my primary motivation for joining is cheap booze and free Wi-Fi. And so as I started on a £4 very large glass of red I tied to log on. Er…oh. It failed to work.

Asking for assistance it dawned on me why word of my application had spread so quickly. I sense that I am the only new applicant since 1960. The median age was at least 70. And no-one had a Scooby about the Wi-Fi. I have thus retreated to “Grounded.” Where the win is better but far more expensive. The music has changed from Perry Como to modern young people’s music which also passes me by but where the Wi-Fi works perfectly.

Is there anywhere in this part of Bristol which plays the sort of music that 45 year old me are interested in?

Has this dimmed my enthusiasm for the Conservative club? In no way. We should have internet access at home by next weekend and perhaps I shall mention the Wi-Fi issue at my membership interview. It would after all be a way of attracting other relatively “young Conservatives” such as myself. But you cannot argue with cheap booze and enormous snooker tables 250 yards from the front door can you? 

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About Tom Winnifrith
Tom Winnifrith is the editor of When he is not harvesting olives in Greece, he is (planning to) raise goats in Wales.
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