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Prize Caption Contest – The two Ships of Fools in the Ice & Call Me Dave with Foxy Blonde issue

Tom Winnifrith
Sunday 5 January 2014

I am sure that for many readers of this blog there have been two highlights of the Christmas News Season. The first came from Call Me Dave Cameron who arranged a photo shoot with a foxy blonde lady who was one of the first to use taxpayers cash to buy a flat under the Government’s Help to Buy scheme (also known as lets bribe the fools with their own cash by inflating the housing bubble to win the election scheme).

It has since emerged that this bird (Ms Sharon Ray) did not need taxpayer’s cash at all since she drives a £33,000 sports car. Better still, the Estate Agent who pocketed a handy commission for selling the flat to the foxy bird was in fact the foxy bird herself. Great photo op Call Me Dave and I am delighted that my taxes are going to such a worthy cause.

Only one event trumps this triumph for the heir to Blair and it was the stranding in ice packs of the Russian research vessel Akademik Shokalskiy over Christmas. This ship was carrying 52 passengers (including research scientists and, naturally, reporters from the BBC and its sister paper The Guardian) and was travelling to the Antarctic to investigate how global warming was melting the ice packs.

I would have thought that they would have been more successful had they been trying to find a bunch of Shepherds, three wise men and a virgin in Cardiff City Centre. They would at least have found the shepherds. Antarctic ice is in fact at levels not seen since modern records began - it is growing fast. I know that the computer models on which the bogus science/quack religion of global warming is based predicted otherwise but the hard facts are an inconvenient truth for the global warming nutters.

Sadly for the global warming nutters the ship was not sailing through computer models but in the world of fact and thus it got trapped in the (record) ice on Christmas Eve. As the Guardian and BBC journalists sat down to their Christmas nut-roasts that must have been a bit of a pain. Luckily the passengers were rescued by helicopter (how frigging carbon neutral is that?) shortly after New Year but the ship remained stranded because… 

The Chinese ice breaker sent to rescue it, the Xue Long, has now itself got trapped in (record) levels of pack ice. Another inconvenient truth. Clearly time to send in another ship to rescue the rescuers and then the first ship.

And so I offer you this second picture

For this New Year prize caption contest the deadline is Friday at 9 AM and post suitable captions for either picture in the comments section below.

For what it is worth my entries are:

Foxy Estate Parasite is saying “So, Dave you think you may need a new London house in the summer of 2015, I shall start looking.”


Penguin 1: “The man from the Guardian told me that it was all part of an American plot to drill for oil”
Penguin 2” Oh, the man from the BBC said it was just Thatcher’s fault”

I am sure that you can do better. Post away… a 50% discount voucher at the New Real Man wine bar venture opening in February for the best entries.

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About Tom Winnifrith
Tom Winnifrith is the editor of When he is not harvesting olives in Greece, he is (planning to) raise goats in Wales.
[email protected]
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