That is not the Jonathan, my friend the Euroloon who is with us this uear. Poor fellow, he suffers from severe #TrumpDerangementSyndrome and even more severe #BrexitDerangementSyndrome as well as being, like me, a lifelong West Ham United supporter so he has enough to drive him mad anyway. I refer to another Jonathan who came a couple of years ago and insisted that only he could get the complicated heating system working at the Greek Hovel or light an end of harvest fire.
And thus veteran harvester Tim torments poor Jonathan with photos sent back to Blighty of succulent pork steaks from Thomas’s taverna, pictures of glasses of Metaxa, of a heating system we got working without J and now a blazing fire of all the branches we cut, lit with just two firelighters. As the flames leapt into the heavens Albanians on neighbouring fields will have wondered at the prowess of myself, Tim and the Euroloon. Back in Airstrip One the other J will be seething with envy
