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And so an elderly English couple walk into the Kourounis taverna in Kambos

Tom Winnifrith
Friday 27 May 2016

I had seen them earlier as I had driven in. They were dressed in walking clothes so I knew they were westerners and were, for some reason, trekking along the road from Kambos to the Greek hovel, a road to pretty much nowhere. Whatever.

Two hours later and I am tapping away at my PC in the Kourounis taverna in Kambos. There is a half eaten Greek salad on my table and an ouzo.I know that it is only lunchtime but after today's latest major vindication of my work as a fraud buster I felt I was entitled to a small celebration.

I guess I have picked up a bit of a tan since I arrived but the Brits wandered up to me and speaking very slowly in English tried to order a fanta from me. Nicho the owner stood a couple of yards away looking a little confused but smiling. His English is somewhere between pretty dire when he likes you to non existent when he does not.

There was a temptation to accept their order and help out but instead I shrugged my shoulders in a "I don't speak English" sort of way and gestured towards Nicho who took their order.

The couple has just left. As she paid her bill, the lady tried to explain to Nicho that doing all this walking was hot work. He said "yes" which in translation means "I have no idea what you are on about lady, FFS I am Greek why do you assume I speak English?"

As she wanderted out, she smiled at me in a sort of "poor foreigner, if only you spoke English" way.

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About Tom Winnifrith
Tom Winnifrith is the editor of When he is not harvesting olives in Greece, he is (planning to) raise goats in Wales.
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