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The PC campus Nazis - 35 things you must not say to offend a poor millennial

Tom Winnifrith
Wednesday 5 October 2016

Please God, bring on the asteroid strike that ends humanity. Today's news that makes me despair for the way the West is falling apart is from a guide produced by James Madison University in the USA for group leaders to help first year students get used to life on campus. Here are 35 things they are not allowed to say. You will just cring and despair.

My favourite is saying LBGTQ people “what you do in the privacy of your own bedroom is your business.” One cannot say that because it is is “hurtful and annoying” because it does not acknowledge the quality and depth of their relationship outside the bedroom." Whatever. Apparently one cannot call an older person "cute" as that is patronising. If any 19 year old girls from Madison wish to approach me and call me cute I swear that I won't take offense. Oops I have blundered. Using the term girl to describe someone of the female gender breaches Rule 20.

"You are very articulate" is apparently coded racial profiling whilst "you have a pretty face" is apparently what one says to fat people to avoid saying they are fat. Jeepers whoever wrote this stuff must be on drugs.

Life at James Madison University in Virginia is clearly a minefield, to all those starting this fall I wish you the best of luck following the code below. Having attended University myself a long while ago I know exactly how you feel. Fuck. I have now broken Rule 2. "It was only a joke, Don't take things so seriously," Shit that is rule 5 broken too. Before I dig myself into a hole, doing the digging myself because I have never owned slaves ( rule 16 broken - very important for all those 151 year old freshmen who might just have actually owned a slave), I shall just serve up the list.

1. “Some of my best friends are …”
2. “I know exactly how you feel.”
3. “I don’t think of you as …”
4. “The same thing happens to me too.”
5. “It was only a joke! Don’t take things so seriously.”
6. What do ‘your’ people think.”
7. “What are you?” or “Where are you really from?”
8. “I don’t see color” or “I’m color blind.”
9. “You are so articulate.”
10. “It is so much better than it used to be. Just be patient.”
11. “You speak the language very well.”
12. Asking black people about their hair or hygiene.
13. Saying to LBGTQ people “what you do in the privacy of your own bedroom is your business.”
14. “Yes, but you are a ‘good’ one.”
15. “You have such a pretty face.”
16. “I never owned slaves.”
17. “If you are going to live in this country, learn to speak the language!”
18. “She/he is a good person. She/he didn’t mean anything by it.”
19. “When I’ve said the same thing to other people like you, they don’t mind.”
20. Calling women “girls, honey, sweetie pie” or other familiar terms.
21. When people of color say, “It is not the same thing.”
22. When people of faith say, “Love the sinner, hate the sin.”
23. When white men say, “We are the ones being discriminated against now!”
24. Referring to older people as “cute.”
25. Asking a transgender person, “What are you really? A man or a woman?”
26. Referring to the significant other, partner, or spouse of a same gender couple as their “friend.”
27. “Why do ‘they’ (fill in the blank) always have to sit together? They are always sticking together.”
28. “People just need to pick themselves up by their bootstraps.”
29. People with disabilities are “courageous.”
30. “That’s so gay/queer. That’s so retarded.”
31. “I don’t see difference. We are all part of the same race, the human race.”
32. I don’t care if you are pink, purple or orange, I treat all people the same.”
33. Asking a transgender person, “Have you had the operation.”
34. Saying to a Jewish person, “You are so lucky to have ‘your’ Christmas spread over a week!”
35. “Here’s another book on political correctness.”

And if you want to see more, here is another book on political correctness

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About Tom Winnifrith
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Tom Winnifrith is the editor of TomWinnifrith.com. When he is not harvesting olives in Greece, he is (planning to) raise goats in Wales.
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