Foxy woxy

1108 days ago

The Badger Trust joins the trolls organising a Tom Winnifrith Pile on but is regretting it - Part 1

I do not hide my view of badgers. If you are reading this in some big city, you probably think of them as loveable fury little creatures just like Foxy Woxy. I view them as aggressive vermin just like Foxy Woxy. Badgers eat hedgehogs, animals I rather like. They dig up the graveyard at the end of my fields where one day I shall be buried. They are not after the bodies, just the worms, and that also sees them digging up my lawn and those of all my neighbours. They have a go at my strawberry patch which is adjacent to their sett here at the Welsh Hovel. I loathe badgers.


2423 days ago

Sing & Sign - can I really endure this come the autumn, even with the fit young mums and for you darling Joshua?

Sing & Sign is not to be confused with politically correct poetry. The latter is on a Wednesday at our local library or will be until, that place is shut down. As the Po faced poetry dominatrix explained this week, Bristol City Council is being forced to make big cuts. Well of course there is no cut in its donation to the Pride festival, the City council can afford a fully staffed press office, to fund Chess Tournaments and to make donations to very rich charities such as the Terence Higgins Trust as well as Womankind Bristol Women's Therapy Centre Ltd, Independent Sex Workers against Violence, the Hype Dance Company, the Bristol Zimbabwe Association and a whole raft of other valuable causes. But it must close down our library here in the white working class district of Brislington because of the wicked Tories. Whatever.


2427 days ago

Everybunny dance! Pro fox propaganda, written by naive idiots, on the rates in Bristol

As I noted yesterday, the BBC believes that if it repeats myths often enough in its drama we come to accept those myths as facts. In the end we will accept that everyone in the Countryside is right behind gay pride and they all oppose fox-hunting. The mindset of Arcadia has become that of Islington because the BBC told us so often that the Arcadians/Ambridgians had Upper Street values all along. This attempt to bully into accepting liberal values by distorting the truth is how the left wages its cultural war today.


3540 days ago

The RSPCA and RSPB – sick as a parrot

The Mrs and I were wondering back from lunch by the Avon and came upon a car park at the edge of the woods where three boys cried out “help there is an escaped parrot, can you help us?” To misquote my father (a Greats Man) “A PPE man can turn his hand to anything” although catching rather confused and slightly injured escaped parrots in Bristol car parks is not my normal line of expertise.

As I got down on my front and peered under whichever car the parrot opted to hide under the Mrs called the Royal Society for Protection of Birds (RSPB). “Sorry madam that is not the sort of thing we deal with.” Hmmm, I guess the RSPB is too busy campaigning against global warning to do anything like actually protect a bird in need.

So what about the RSPCA I suggested? Again no luck. They said that we should try the Old Bill. FS we know that the Filth will be far too busy arresting folk for calling a Police Horse gay or for tweeting out comments t folks in Liverpool about how all scousers are sympathy milking, workshy, welfare addicts ( which they are) to assist.

And so as I scrabbled underneath another car and the parrot eluded me again, the Mrs tried another RSPCA number. Eventually she was told “it will probably find its way home but if you do catch it we will come and collect but we are massively under-resourced”

The first comment is a lie.


4063 days ago

Tesco and its horse meat burgers – what’s the fuss?

And so it emerges that cheap Tesco burgers contain horsemeat (up to 29% in some cases), the company grovels and withdraws the product line and everyone is horrified. What is the fuss? It is not as if the hundreds of thousands of customers who have already munched their way through grilled Shergar have actually noticed or complained.

The highly processed junk food that most Britons buy in supermarkets bears so little relation in taste to what it is meant to be thanks to the addition of vast amounts of chemicals, flavourings and preservatives that you could probably serve up dog, cat, horse, or fox as part of the end product and no-one would be any the wiser. By the time folks have added vast amounts of equally artificial sauces you could probably chuck in a bit of cardboard as well and it would make no difference. I am almost surprised at the idea that a cheap burger priced for chavs in a supermarket contains any beef at all. I had assumed it was all off cuts, innards and chemicals and frankly it makes no odds what animal they come from.

Horse meat tastes fine as a dish. It is not that different from beef. In the same way that guinea pig meat tastes, when prepared normally, pretty much like chicken but just a bit better. But most of our fellow citizens have not actually ever seen an animal killed for food. And so they have a vague notion that somewhere along the line cows or sheep are bumped off and end up in Tesco’s and this is okay but the idea of eating my sweet little pony, a fluffy guinea pig or what the RSPCA terms one of Britain’s favourite mammals, cute little foxy woxy, is seen as a sort of crime against society.

Britain’s urban mass consumers of junk food want a cheap product that tastes like “meat” – had the company branded its product “meat burgers” no-one would have noticed and it could have carried on flogging the line for years with the customers gorging happily and not having to associate eating meat with the idea of killing animals. If folks want something that tastes really good they need to venture along the food chain and a bit closer to the abattoir’s knife and accept that what they were eating was not that long ago a living breathing creature.

The more I think about it the more I have a desire to eat guinea pig once again. Perhaps I could buy some Tesco chicken nuggets and just hope that I get lucky or maybe a visit to the pet shop is in order. I imagine that the RSPCA would try to prosecute me but it really is a very tasty dish indeed.


4081 days ago

The RSPCA: A Charity to Put Down for 2013

I am a great animal lover and, historically, a supporter of the RSPCA (and its IOM equivalent the MSPCA from where my cats Oakley and Tara came). It provided my cats and I think of it doing good works rehousing poets and stopping domestic cruelty. And that is what it used to do back in its 1970s heyday. It was a fluffy charity everyone loved. But then it sought a wider brief moving away from family pets to wider issues of animal welfare. These days it is a deeply political organisation obsessed with foxy woxy.


4086 days ago

A Christmas Carol for the RSPCA

Well I have started. I shall have to do a bit of real work in a second but for now, pronounce RSPCA quickly the first time and here is a Carol for the organisation that thinks that foxy woxy is one of Britain’s most popular mammals.

Noting that the North Wiltshire RSPCA is now following me on twitter, this is especially for you folks and any other deluded lefties out there…

The RSPCA Christmas Carol

Away in a manger, the livestock were dead
From TB from badgers, or killed while in bed
By a cute little fox, that the RSPCA
had protected from toffs. hunting that day

Back in North London, where the TB disease
Means warmongering Prime Ministers, not badgers that sneeze
We love cute foxy, and his friendly way
He’s veggie like us, and very pro gay

Hands in the pocket, RSPCA
Welfare for foxes, its right that we pay
Kill all rich farmers, they are all to blame
They are Tory scum, with no bloody shame


4087 days ago

Labour MP Paul Flynn – A Revolting Bigot

Labour MP Paul Flynn was not on my radar until today when he tweeted out to the 5,699 imbeciles who follow him: “Hunting toffs are livid. They thought they were above the law that they manipulate. Vote for compassion with your cheques to RSPCA.” That says it all. For Flynn it was not the “inedible” he was trying to protect but the “unspeakable” who he wished to persecute, driven by nothing other than class envy and hatred.

The RSCPA describes “foxy woxy” as one of Britain’s best loved mammals. I remember it as the vermin who killed our chickens and geese when I was young. Foxy woxy killed not just one to eat but would leave a trail of destruction if he entered the coop. Foxy woxy is a vicious killer. Roach and perch yanked out of a canal are not vicious killers but they suffer what cannot be a pleasant experience (for them) purely to give (predominantly) non toffs pleasure. Flynn and the RSCPA have not campaigned to ban coarse fishing.

Personally I would ban neither. But then I am not a twisted individual driven by class hatred. Revolting bigot that he is, Paul Flynn is just that. And as it happens Wilde was wrong. Foxy woxy is edible. If anyone manages to kill one please send it to me at Real Man Pizza and I shall cure it and cook it and invite readers of this blog up for a special meal. Wild was also wrong about those who hunt. Drawn from ALL classes they are and were generally decent folk. Unlike the tossers that are Paul Flynn and those who run the RSPCA.

For the record: I have never fox-hunted in my life. I do fish. And I would say that I am comfortably middle class. Certainly not a “toff.”


4110 days ago

Leveson: Death of a Free Press or Just An Accelerated Death of Newspapers

So the Leveson Report is out. And it is pretty grim reading. It will delight Hugh Grant, Max Mosley, Nick Clegg and the other illiberal folk who want the press muzzled. It will delight the political elite who resent their sins being revealed. And it will, I suspect, hasten the demise of the traditional newspaper industry.

Leveson proposes legislation which will see a body containing no MPs or journalists but a fine body of establishment grandees there to ensure that newspapers do not breach certain rules. If they do they will face crippling fines Ofcom will review how this body works every two years. The information Commissioner will be given greater powers to prosecute newspapers for breaches of data protection.

Hmmm. Ultimately who appoints these independent grandees…politicians. David Davies MP (the man who should have led the Tories rather than Call Me Dave) is spot on:


4114 days ago

Deluded Lefty Celebrity Hyprocrite of the day – Brian May

You may remember that Brian May, the guitarist with Queen, lead the campaign to stop the cull of badgers in the West Country. The badger population is out of control and they spread TB but “nouvelle landowner” May knew better. After all, he deserted the Tories for Labour in 2010 to save badgers and foxy woxy.

Now it emerges that on one of his Dorset estates he accepted professional advice and allowed healthy young deer to be, er…culled. Of course he has now put a stop to it on humanitarian grounds.

One rule for poor farmers and one for Brian. I wonder as the young deer saw the gunmen approaching were they singing to themselves:

She keeps her Moet et Chandon
In her pretty cabinet
‘Let them eat cake’ she says
Just like Marie Antoinette
A built-in remedy
For Kruschev and Kennedy
At anytime an invitation
You can’t decline

Caviar and cigarettes
Well versed in etiquette
Extraordinarily nice

She’s a Killer Queen


4125 days ago

Townies Learn about Foxy Woxy

I read in the Metro (picked up on the train) a shock story “Police! I’ve been outfoxed”. According to reporter Tariq Tahir “ We’ve heard of feral youths causing trouble on city streets – but now there is a new breed of criminal. An audacious fox mugged a mother of two as she was on her way home from the supermarket, making off with her bag of groceries.”

Tahir says the “bushy tailed bandit” appeared on the footpath ahead of 46 year old Louise Power, then sniffed her bag full of Turkey twizzlers and then started walking after the Sidcup resident. Ms Power swirled her handbag but foxy woxy sat up at her and snarled. So she ran away and as she did so foxy jumped up and bit the shopping bag so she dropped it.