chav

1805 days ago

Tom Winnifrith Bearcast: I'm not insensitive to lesbians but, listeners: should I grab Mrs Chav's pussy?

As the day of the great move to the Grim North beckons I wrestle with the moral dilemna: should I grab Mrs Chav’s pussy before we go? I then explain why I was NOT insensitive to lesbians in yesterday’s bearcast. Finally I look at how to commit securities fraud on AIM in a way that is almost certain to escape detection or conviction. I do not advocate you do what I say but i suspect some already are. Now about about you help us to get over 20% of our Rogue Bloggers for Woodlarks target tonight? I need donations of just £70 HERE

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1883 days ago

Photo article two - snowballs and cat in the snow

Having started last night, as I showed here, the snow carried on till well after noon so we woke up to, perhaps, ten inches of global warming in some parts of the garden. The cat belonging to the Chav family next door went for a brief walk, as you can see below but thought better of it and is now back in our kitchen sleeping on the sofa. the little creature almost lives here now, my catnapping has worked. Joshua also enjoyed the snow.

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2675 days ago

Photo Article: Oakley, Joshua and the silly hat

As you may remember, the Mrs forced me to go to a chavtastic shop called The Range to purchase a Christmas hat for our morbidly obese three legged cat Oakley. It appears to be part of a cunning plan for home made Christmas cards. How very spiritual.

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2789 days ago

Tom Winnifrith #InternationalCatDay Bearcast: at war with inbred Isle of Wighters, thieving lazy Scousers and Glenwick owning morons

Who described me as evil today? A lazy thieving welfare scrounger ( i.e.a Scouser), an inbred chav with a low IQ (ie someone from the Isle of Wight) or the dumbest of them all, a Glenwick (GWIK) shareholder? I pissed off scousers on an industrial scale HERE,, the inbreds HERE and the uber morons on the Glenwick shareholder list HERE.  I discuss this all in today's podcast. Then it is onto IGAS and the other UK shale plays which are all racing ahead today. Then to TrakM8 (TRAK) and Aureus (AUE) before my morbidly obese three legged cat Oakley intervenes in a very audible manner to remind us all of what really matters today.

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3789 days ago

I have a really guilty confession – I have started watching the X-factor

I know, I know. It is Chav TV par excellence. It is utterly moronic. The audience bay like those demanding death at the Coliseum and has a collective IQ of 17. The whole thing is truly frightful and I am truly ashamed to admit it but, late in life, I have become hooked.

There is drama. I kind of knew that Abi was toast on Sunday, she gave a weak performance the day before and though a sweet girl from somewhere in the Grim North she did not have the X factor. But there was drama none the less as she entered a sing off with Hannah, a girl who cannot articulate a single word properly. Surely she has to go soon?

All the contestants bar 1 seem to come either from the Grim North or Essex or South London. A few of them can speak proper English. And, dare I say it, some of them seem quite good at singing.

The real appeal is the Judges. American Nicole is truly ghastly and makes the audience seem like a collection of Nobel Prize winners. But there is something endearing in quite how thick and shallow she is. It goes without saying that no-one could be a patch on the UK’s leading chanteuse Ms Cheryl Cole.

The rather camp Louis Walsh seems like a nice man although I am not sure that he would be my first pick for the pub quiz team. Sharon O. is almost as ghastly as Nicole in a rougher, older manner. And she is not as thick as the American. No-one is as thick as Nicole. If you had a gap in your pub quiz team and had to choose between Nicole and a loaf of bread, you’d go for the loaf any day.

However, Gary Barlow is just a class act. He is witty and cutting, kind and cruel and, compared to everyone else involved in this spectacle, he is an intellectual colossus.

So I am hooked on the chaviest most low-grade junk TV going.  I really cannot think of any more of a guilty confession to make. But I felt I should come clean.

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3954 days ago

Hookies’ Wife should live in Stoke, the £1 million mansion, immigration and welfare

Islamofascist terrorist Abu Hamza is currently rotting in a US jail and will hopefully not be returning to these shores any time soon. But the wife of Hookie and his seven kids still live in Britain. There is outrage in some quarters that Mrs Terrorist lives in a £1 million house for which she pays nothing – the grateful taxpayer picks up the tab. There is apparently nothing that can be done about it.

Predictably some bigots regard this as an immigration issue – they just want her booted out, preferably with her kids. While I very much doubt that the old bag has contributed anything at all to Society that is not the answer. You cannot just say we will boot this immigrant out because they are a scumbag parasite married to an Islamofascist terrorist (i.e. she has broken no laws but we do not like her) but we will keep that hard working Mr Patel from the corner store in.  You cannot make arbitrary rules on a case by case basis.

There are vast numbers of immigrants in the UK who work damn hard doing jobs feckless Britain’s would rather not do (claiming welfare instead), and in many cases as entrepreneurs making Britain richer. I would welcome more immigration and have an open door policy.

The general issue here is welfare. I work damn hard and pay tax. I resent bitterly that much of that tax goes to folks who have never worked and will never work. I resent white chavs on the Jeremy Kyle show as much as I resent Mrs Hookie. There has to be a change

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3965 days ago

Abu Qatada, John Thuo and the UK’s moronic immigration & welfare laws

You know who Abu Qatada is. He reckons that there is something wrong with the UK’s welfare system. We agree on that. Abu’s specific complaint is that the five bedroom house that the taxpayer provides him with is not big enough. He needs more storage space.  Saints preserve us.  Now meet John Thuo

Back in in his native Kenya he killed between 100 and 400 people using a machete. Policemen, innocent civilians, members of other criminal gangs – he butchered the lot. He also undertook female circumcision. In 2003 he came here as an illegal immigrant and has lived in taxpayer funded accommodation and on benefits ever since.

The Home Office tried to boot him out but failed because it would infringe his Human Rights. You see, he might get murdered by his old gang back in Kenya. Apparently Thuo also has mental health problems and says he might top himself if we boot him out.

Of course if I say that these cases shows our immigration and welfare system is flawed, the deluded lefties and liberal elite respond in three ways:

1. Anyone who says the immigration system is flawed must be a racist.
2. These are exceptional cases and very rare – most of the time our system works fine.
3. The Daily Mail has reported these cases and so this is just right wing scaremongering, gosh we hate the Daily Mail, let’s talk about what an awful paper it is.

Whatever. The UK has a £100 billion budget deficit. We are going bust. These gents add to that deficit. They contribute nothing to our society. They will not seek work.

I fail to understand why anyone who has never worked should get any benefits at all. Whether the scrounger is an  Islamofacist hate preacher/probably terrorist, a Kenyan mass murderer or a white chav from some Grim Northern Shot Hole appearing on the Jeremy Kyle show.

In the case of Mr Thuo I cannot see why we are protecting him from justice in Kenya. Why cannot we hand him over to the Kenyan Police? If his gang manage to get at him or he tops himself do I really care? Do you?

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