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If Insulate Britain morons want to glue themselves to the road: some advice for the Police

Tom Winnifrith
Tuesday 26 October 2021

The game for the, overwhelmingly white and middle class, idiots who do their best to gum up Britain’s roads is to waste as much Police Time as possible while screwing up the traffic flow. And so the latest wheeze is for these idiots to attach their hands or face to the road with superglue which causes police and medical staff to waste hours and hours ungluing them without causing pain. As ever we have it all wrong.


The answer is simply to put a few cones around the protestor and, when all other protestors have been removed to the local jail, to allow traffic to drive around the idiot stuck to the road. Over time he or she will urinate and defecate in his trousers and will be unable to do anything about it. Give the idiot the odd drink of water but without his or her vegan sandwiches he or she will slowly starve.


One can only hope that they protest near Glasgow and are over-run with “Thatcher’s rats.”


After a few days, you’d hope that rain might have softened the glue and the idiot might be helped to go free by medics moving in in the early hours so as not to disrupt traffic.  The State is under no obligation to assist a citizen who has put himself or herself in such a predicament so why do we rush the matter and play their game?


One suspects that if protestors realised the indignities and discomforts a glue protest would involve if my proposal were implemented rather fewer of them would opt to go down such a route.

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About Tom Winnifrith
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Tom Winnifrith is the editor of TomWinnifrith.com. When he is not harvesting olives in Greece, he is (planning to) raise goats in Wales.
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