There was no free share tip today oneonefreesharetip.com today as instead I felt the need to apolgise to an entire nation. In case you are not registered ( why not?) the piece runs.
I make a public apology to the entire people of Wales. It is indeed a heart-felt apology to you all ( my daughter Olivia included and even to her mother “big nose”). For you see it seems that I have been insensitive to the great people of the nation that brought you Max Boyce, badger fancying MP Ron Davies, weekend cottage burning and the entire Kinnock family and I want to apologise for that.
Clem Chambers and I have received an email from a sensitive and humourless Welshie called Gareth Davies He states:
“In your “One Free Share Tip” report of 17th February tipped Welsh technology hardware company I.Q.E., you referred to them as “sheep shaggers”. We Welsh have a good sense of humour and accept light –hearted “digs”, but the above phrase is not in that category and in fact is downright insulting and completely out of order. I trust that you will apologise for your remark and that such insults will not be repeated. Should I not receive a satisfactory reply, I may well take the matter further.
To Clem: I tried to get your e-mail address , but after several long, unanswered calls to 0207 0700 961, I have had to send your copy of the above e-mail by post (recorded delivery). Remarks such as the one above are often made in the media , mainly by S.E.England/London “establishment” figures. Having worked/travelled throughout Britain , I know that such hereditary, systemic, arrogant, publically- stated insolence is viewed by others outside the S.E. region with annoyance and contempt. Attitudes are hardening and in future, such insolence will not be tolerated.”
Ooooh er missus. I am threatened by Gareth, who clearly has time on his hands, that he may take the matter further and Clem now knows that this “insolence will not be tolerated.”
Clem and I are sensitive souls. I hate to think of Gareth staring up the valley looking at deserted coal mines and suffering because an Ireland supporting writer made such a comment about his fellow Celts. Poor Gareth. I am almost in tears as I write this apology for I want his soul to become less tormented. For you Gareth but also to all your wonderful countrymen and countrywomen, including family man Ryan Giggs and Ruth Madoc from Hi-de-Hi, I would like to state publicly:
I apologise for the comment. I fully accept that no-one in Wales has ever considered shagging a sheep and that nothing of the sort ever happens in the Principality. I think I got Wales confused with the Scottish borders and apologise for my basic error of geography which I shall not repeat.
I hope that Gareth will accept this apology in full and will promise not to burn down the cottage that my Aunt Lucy owns in his great land.
I trust that this puts an end to the matter as I would rather spend an eternity listening to Aled Jones records in a room full of grumbling Welshies bleating on about how the wicked Thatcher closed down all the mines, than continue this pointless correspondence any further.