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An Acid Trip with Pinsent Masons Part 2

Tom Winnifrith
Sunday 8 September 2013

Suddenly I was back in my Clerkenwell Rabbit hole sitting with the dormouse sipping what looked like a cup of herbal tea. “Is the acid trip over?” I asked my new friend. “Surely with Sefton’s only witness exposed as a liar and a crook, with Pinsents in breach of the SRA rule-book if it continues to act for Sefton given that Russell Booker is now my star witness and given that the case was bollocks in the first place it is all over?” The dormouse leaned forward.

But at that point there was a loud knock on the door and a man dressed in a red military uniform with round gold rimmed glasses appeared. Bloody hell. It was John Lennon from the Sergeant Pepper album. “Are you sure that was tea?” I asked the dormouse. He smiled. Shrooooooooooom.

Rather thankful that it was not colourful James out on a bender with not Johnny Depp I opened the door. “John – where are Ringo, Paul and George? “ I asked contemplating how Real Man was attracting all the stars these days.

“Do not be so daft. John Lennon was shot dead thirty years ago by Mark Chapman, surely you know that I am Chris Mullen the senior partner at Sergeant Pinsents legal tarts club band?  Here. Have some candy from my five million pound Notting Hill townhouse paid for in part by Sefton’s shareholders.”

“I know what you are thinking” he continued, “Mark Chapman was the bloke who took over Jim Ellerton’s first company Powerhouse and found that assets Jim had valued at $7 million were in fact worth only $150,000 – but it is a different Mark Chapman who killed John Lennon.” Jesus”, thought I, “this guy is perceptive, I want some of what he’s on” and so I greedily gobbled some of his candy.

Shrooooooooooooom. We were back in the Court and Master Kay, presiding, asked “But where’s Alice. Quick as a flash the team from Pinsent Masons jumped up and said “Ali, Ali, fear not your honour: our client tells us that his interim, final, preliminary, draft steamflooding report will be published next week.” Master Kay looked a little confused and announced “I call Alice as a witness”

With her hand rested on a copy of the AIM rule book, Alice swore an oath promising to swear the truth, the whole, truth and nothing but the truth just as Jim Ellerton had done five years previously in Dillabaugh vs. Ellerton.

The giant caterpillar asked Alice if she had been Nomad to Sefton between May and October 2012. “I was” said Alice. “And why did you stop being Nomad?” “I resigned because Sefton was deliberately misleading investors just as Tom Winnifrith wrote. “ But liar and crook Jim Ellerton says this is untrue, do you have any evidence of this? Asked the giant caterpillar.

Alice picked up a bulging bag and showered the court with a raft of emails, which Sefton had denied existed, and which verified every word she had said.

The Queen of Hearts winked at the Court executioners and turned to the Pinsent Masons team and whispered softly “perjury…. Jim Ellerton…remember the rules in MY court.”

The Court Executioners started to sharpen the blades on their glistening axes and began to murmur “here comes Dan Levi to check what you said, and here comes a chopper to chop off your head.”

Rather nervously, the team from Pinsents nibbled at some more cakes kindly provided by the dormouse, issued another £100,000 invoice to Sefton Resources and considered their next move.

To be continued…

To read Part 1 of My Acid Trip with Pinsent Masons go here


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About Tom Winnifrith
Tom Winnifrith is the editor of When he is not harvesting olives in Greece, he is (planning to) raise goats in Wales.
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