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If there is to be World War Three – 10 reasons to look on the bright side

Tom Winnifrith
Sunday 2 March 2014

Naturally I rather hope that events in the Ukraine do not spiral into World War Three as I rather sense that this really would be the war to end all wars. And everything else. But always seeking solace of a silver lining in every nuclear cloud here are my ten looking on the bright side reasons for cheer.

  1. I do not have to worry about being on the hook for alimony for the next thirty years and any more sniping letters from lawyers.
  2. We can stop panicking about where to house the cats when we go on holiday this summer
  3. I will die vindicated in the belief that all that money the Government spends telling me that smoking will kill me was utterly wasted.
  4. As the planet goes into nuclear winter even the BBC and its sister paper, The Guardian, will stop banging on about global warming caused by man-made carbon emissions.
  5. My debate with the tax man over my 2013 tax return will draw to a close
  6. I will never again have to worry about West Ham getting relegated.
  7. Never again will I have to listen to arsehole England supporters singing “Swing Low” after the old enemy has defeated Ireland.
  8. Roy Hodgson will at last have a credible excuse for England not winning the World Cup.
  9. Nigel Farage will not be appearing on TV every five minutes to warn about how we are being swamped with welfare scrounging immigrants from Eastern Europe.
  10. As we wait for the final close I can scoff the last box of Christmas chocolates and drink a great bottle of Valpolicello that I have been saving without worrying about my blood sugar levels and the long term risks to my health.

It’s easy, I could think of another ten reasons to look on the Bright Side pretty quickly. Naturally I would rather that I did not have to.

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About Tom Winnifrith
Tom Winnifrith is the editor of When he is not harvesting olives in Greece, he is (planning to) raise goats in Wales.
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