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Explaining the difference between cocaine and washing powder to a Northern git

Tom Winnifrith Wednesday 26 November 2014

 

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On top of my fireplace at the Greek Hovel in a picture I published the other day is a large bag of white powder. At once the self-styled Northern Barons my good pals Doc Holiday and Brokerman Dan were tweeting in a frenzy that I had a large stash of coke with me. Dan reckoned I was going to dose my Albanian workers tomorrow and get the olives harvested at record speed. I am sorry to disappoint the Northern gits. 

For behind the bag is a box marked Tide. This is a product called “washing powder” which in the South of England we use to wash our clothes. In the North I guess they just hang their shell suits out in the rain until they are marginally less grubby and then leave them to dry next to the pigeon loft. The next time that my good friends trek down from the welfare addicted wastelands of the Grim North I will try to explain to them what this is all about. 

The picture below is of the washing powder but also a larger bag of yellow powder which is Sulphur which I use on the edge of the garden to keep snakes away.  For readers in the Grim North who might not understand what a snake is it is a bit like a Quindell shareholder. That is to say it has a small brain but some varieties are poisonous and no-one likes any of them. The only difference is that snakes can be worth a bit of money.

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About Tom Winnifrith
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Tom Winnifrith is the editor of TomWinnifrith.com. When he is not harvesting olives in Greece, he is (planning to) raise goats in Wales.
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Excuse my croaky voice. In this inaugural edition of the ShareProphets Radio podcast sponsored by Riverfort Global Capital, this week, in order I discuss the pot bubble, interview Nigel Somerville on Neil Woodford, flag up my next 3 FRC PLC victims, interview outspoken broker Andrew Monk, discuss why CSR is a waste of cash and interview Steve O’Hara of Optibiotix (OPTI). Enjoy. If you like this and can’t wait seven days for more of the same you should listen to my Bearcast every day.

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