Personal and undiluted views
coke

98 days ago

Oxford Nanopore – forget the broker hype – look what the insiders are doing

The IPO of Oxford Nanopore (ONT) was Christmas came early for the brokers involved. Raising £1.87 billion of either new cash or from flogging shares for exiting shareholders at 425p will have generated almost £90 million in commission which, even in these inflationary times, will buy an awful lot of coke and upper class hookers. To support such an exercise there were numerous enthusiastic buy notes.  So with the shares now at 577p should we believe the bullshit buy notes?

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307 days ago

However useless she is, Met Police boss Cressida Dick can’t be sacked as she is a woman say “campaigners”

The evidence of just how useless is Met Commissioner Cressida Dick has mounted iover the years. The shooting of that poor Brazilian chap should have done for her career. It did not. So many blunders have happened on her watch but nothing has ever stopped her rise to the top and her staying there. You might have thought that Police manhandling protesters at the Sarah Everard vigil might finally see her gone. But oh no.

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367 days ago

Tom Winnifrith Bearcast: it is coke & hookers day round at Turner Pope

I start with the manic activity round at the Welsh Hovel, photos HERE. Then I look at Iconic (ICON), Toople (TOOP), Xaar (XAR) and at Powerhouse Energy (PHE). So much coke and hookers money for all the City boys, but it will end in tears and a diet of cabbage soup for the mug punters. 

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404 days ago

Zoetic & Anglesey – there is no shame: just place and be done with it

The two companies have only two things in common. The first is that their balance sheets are thinner than an anorexic Ethiopian supermodel with a coke habit. The second is that in recent weeks their shares have absolutely flown.

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406 days ago

Will Novacyt follow Bidstack or Henderson Morley?

The Annual AIM awards were a virtual event this year. So there was no need for 1200 crony capitalists from the City to fork out £150 for a ticket, pour themselves into DJs and party frocks and head off to tell each other how wonderful they all were. The crony capitalists will have to spend cash ultimately leached from mug punter investors elsewhere. What good news for coke suppliers and hookers.

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1154 days ago

Tomco – the shysters are back on the AIM Casino as Turner Pope agrees to act as broker

I know. I know.  The price of coke and also of hookers is going up. I blame Brexit.  What we need are frictionless borders so we can import more of both from Albania to keep the City boys happy. Pro tem that means brokers need to hold their noses (so to speak) and act for anyone.  Even proven shysters like Tomco (TOM).

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1672 days ago

As a Libertarian & Princess Leia Organa devotee - thoughts on the nature of Carrie Fisher's death

I suppose I should not have been shocked. The spin from her publicists was that Carrie Fisher had once been a hell raiser but had now been clean for years. I think she once admitted that during the filming of Star Wars she was taking so much coke that she barely knew which day of the week it was. Well I guess we now know that the "now clean" line was just spin. The autopsy shows that Fisher had traces of coke, heroin and ecstasy in her body when she died aged 60 just before Christmas.

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1961 days ago

Keith Vaz MP, The Bishop of Grantham and a couple of Polish Rentboys

I used to have a girlfriend from India who arrived in this country convinced that the entire British establishment and anyone who went to a public school (with the exception of myself, naturally) were closet homoseexuals. If she is reading the tabloid press today she will no doubt be concluding that she was right all along.

First there is the Bishop of Grantham

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2027 days ago

Papillon Holdings - FD engages in a quick spot of tax minimization

Recently listed Papillon Holdings (PPHP) is - as Cynical Bear pointed out here - clearly an overvalued rum and coke. But in its brief existence it has at least achieved something: helping the FD slash his tax bill. Oh what jolly good news for the crony capitalists, coke and hookers all round.

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2149 days ago

Tom Winnifrith Bearcast 28 Feb: Getting ouzo ready for Slater & Gordon, MIDAS in Mail talks shite & Mervyn King on banksters

In today's podcast I look forward to results from Slater & Gordon (SGH) at around midnight Sunday. I explain how goodwill writedowns, bank provisioning and other matters work ahead of what will be an ouzo, beer, popcorn and coke evening of joy for me. Then it is onto explaining why the MIDAS column in the Mail on Sunday penned by the silly bint Jo Hart is talking shite on Aureus Mining (AUE). You would have thought by now that Jo would have grasped the basics of how DCF models work. It seems not. Then I end on Mervyn King's warnings of a new bank crisis. I think he may be right.

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2160 days ago

An AIM CEO comments on ShareProphets..it seems not everyone likes us!

It seems that amongst the crony capitalists coining it in from the coke & hookers subsidy machine that is the AIM Casino this website is not terribly popular. 

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2306 days ago

So what if David Cameron smoked pot at Oxford? I really worry about those that did not

It now seems pretty clear that Call Me Dave did not stick his todger in a dead pig while at University but did smoke pot. So did I. On one occasion in a lavatory with a future Labour female cabinet minister in the days before she became a dreary sanctimonius bore. As far as I can remember the only folks who did not smoke pot were the religious maniacs and the thoroughly dull boatie health Nazis.

That Cameron acted like more or less every other student perhaps shows that he is perhaps just a bit more normal than most of the arseholes in politics. In a way I’d rather have a Prime Minister who has been a normal human being at one point in his life rather than some humourless wonk who lectures us all about how we should live while never having lived a normal life himself.

It is also alleged that Call Me Dave attended a party in London in 2008 where folks hoovered up cocaine.

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2325 days ago

Tom Winnifrith Bearcast 5 Sept - plunging the knife into Condor & Golden Saint and more

I start with a few comments about yesterday's bearcast but then move into the mining sector where I am tempted to nibble. Two stocks I would nibble at under any circumstances are Golden Saint Resources (GSR) and Condor Gold (CNR). Ive been a bear for a while and am now mega bearish on both after events yesterday as I explain in full. It is time that Mark Childs of Condor sent me a full apology (flowers, coke and a card will do). but perhaps he should apoligise to his shareholders first.

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2464 days ago

Thanks for attending UK Investor Show – 2016 Half Price tickets now on offer & Photos from 2015

I hope that you had a great day yesterday at Uk Investor Show.  I certainly had fun although I should confess to having a bit of a sore head today.  Before we go on, I take my hat off to Audioboom PLC for showing an incredibly sense of humour. We had a bit of a spat a few months ago. They thought I was a bad Bear. I thought they should apologise and send over a large bag of coke to say sorry. And so Audioboom pitched up at the show with a present for me as you can see below. 

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2608 days ago

Explaining the difference between cocaine and washing powder to a Northern git

On top of my fireplace at the Greek Hovel in a picture I published the other day is a large bag of white powder. At once the self-styled Northern Barons my good pals Doc Holiday and Brokerman Dan were tweeting in a frenzy that I had a large stash of coke with me. Dan reckoned I was going to dose my Albanian workers tomorrow and get the olives harvested at record speed. I am sorry to disappoint the Northern gits. 

For behind the bag is a box marked Tide. This is a product called “washing powder” which in the South of England we use to wash our clothes. In the North I guess they just hang their shell suits out in the rain until they are marginally less grubby and then leave them to dry next to the pigeon loft. The next time that my good friends trek down from the welfare addicted wastelands of the Grim North I will try to explain to them what this is all about. 

The picture below is of the washing powder but also a larger bag of yellow powder which is Sulphur which I use on the edge of the garden to keep snakes away.  For readers in the Grim North who might not understand what a snake is it is a bit like a Quindell shareholder. That is to say it has a small brain but some varieties are poisonous and no-one likes any of them. The only difference is that snakes can be worth a bit of money.

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2940 days ago

My 12 year old Daughter’s shock admission – something no father wants to hear

And so it was a day or so after Christmas and my daughter was down in Bristol for Christmas Number 2. How about we pop along to the Conservative club for a quick drink I suggested, keen to lead young people along a path of virtue and righteousness.

But Daddy I have to tell you something about me first, she answered.

Oh Cripes thought I. “Will I be upset?” She responded honestly: “Daddy, you won’t like it.”

Oh double cripes.

What could it be? Might she have a boyfriend? Tried a touch of Nigella with her schoolmates? Could she be “coming out” already? After all she does live in Islington. Surely she cannot be pregnant? My mind raced through all these dreadful scenarios.

But it was worse.

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2968 days ago

Nigella Lawson – do I view her differently as a coke-fiend?

It is alleged that the domestic goddess Nigella Lawson is in fact a coke fiend. The allegations have cropped up in a rather tawdry court case involving two of her employees and have been fanned by her ex-husband Charles Saatchi.

Nigella’s slick PR machine urges us to get behind this poor woman, formerly married to a wife beater to tweet #teamnigella and to feel better by making a scrummy holiday hotcake with eggnog cream. Calories 5000. Royalties to Nigella’s bank account even more.

Hmmmm

As a foodie I always had a bit of a soft spot for Nigella.

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