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There must be intense competition but are these the two stupidest people in Birmingham?

Tom Winnifrith
Thursday 28 April 2016

I am not saying that all Brummies are thicker than Benny from Crossroads but it strikes me that he would probably have been among the brighter sparks in his local pub quiz team. I read today about Richella Heeking and Ben Marlow from Sutton Coldfield, who saved up £1200 to go on a lavish break in Las Vegas and turned up to Birmingham airport to find there was no plane.

Er.. slowly it dawned on these two imbeciles that they had booked a flight from Birmingham Alabama as opposed to Birmingham, the post industrial shit-hole on the southern fringes of the great Northern welfare safari.

These idiots insist that it is a common mistake. Yeah right, among folks with an IQ of less than thirty. The couple seemed surprised that the airline would not offer a refund. Compensation, we need compensation for being so incredibly fucking stupid. Whatever.

I suggest that airlines impose a 50% surcharge for all passengers from the North of England. The odds are that they will be morbidly obese as a result of a lifetime eating junk food while on the dole. So they should have to pay more anyway, like we do if we take on extra baggage. And there has to be a good chance that, as a result some act of innate stupidity, they will make life harder for other passengers or the crew.

Perhaps Michael O'Leary at RyanAir will see the logic behind my suggestion and be the first to impose the Northerner surcharge on his planes.


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About Tom Winnifrith
Tom Winnifrith is the editor of When he is not harvesting olives in Greece, he is (planning to) raise goats in Wales.
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