Personal and undiluted views
Ryanair

339 days ago

RyanAir – what is its real cash position as it still shits on customers from on high while snaffling taxpayer funds?

Michael O’Leary and RyanAir (RYA) boasts that it has, or had, one of the strongest balance sheets in the industry. But is its stated cash balance the true balance or is it inflated by shitting on its customers. Let me introduce you to my brother-in-law and his family….

---

395 days ago

Tom Winnifrith Bearcast: Maybe this time the odious bullshitter O'Leary is right

In today’s podcast I look at the pronouncements from the odious leprechaun at Ryanair (RYA), Michael O’Leary. He may be right in what he says but that is no reason to buy airline shares. Then I cover Corero (CNS), Open Orphan (ORPH), where I am both vindicated after Friday’s letter to AIM Regulation and also a seller of more shares today, Novacyt (NCYT), Collagen (COS), Falanx (FLX), and Bidstack (BIDS). Thanks to those who have donated to Rogue Bloggers for Woodlarks but most of you have not yet! Please do spare a few bob as the campsite needs our help urgently if it is to make it to 2021. Donate HERE

---

395 days ago

Video: Michael O'Leary whines for Ireland on EU flag carrier bailouts

Remember when the noxious leprechaun told us that RyanAir (RYA) might have to quit Britain if we voted for Brexit? It seems he is not leaving now and thinks we Britishers are jolly good chaps for bailing out his airline even though it sits on a vast cash pile. However, as his airline faces massive price competition as EU member states break all the rules to bail out flag carriers, O’Leary took to CNBC to complain. Of course he is correct, this is a crazy breach of the rules and spunk of taxpayer cash. But as a consumer facing years of cheap flights with the added joy of seeing the odious O’Leary kicked in the gonads and EU taxpayers stiffed with the bill my libertarian anger is somewhat muted.  Enjoy the video.

---

990 days ago

Tom Winnifrith's Bearcast: Big Sofa's boss Liddington is a corporate wanker who should be fired

I have told this to Simon Liddington to his face but my comments merit a wider audience. I apologise for a dire share tip. I have lost £40,000 myself on Big Sofa (BST) and I must take blame for my own decisions. But I also have words for Arden Partners but the buck stops with the pathetic failure Liddington who MUST GO NOW! I also comment on Avanti Communications (AVN), Ryanair (RYA) and on Rosslyn  Data Technologies (RDT) and Avocet (AVM)  

---

1167 days ago

Greedy BBC trougher Sarah Montague just does not get it - her words betray her false sense of entitlement

Today's bleating member of the liberal elite is Sarah Montague who until last year had to struggle to survive on just under £150,000. Now she gets more having switched from Today to The World at One. Please #MeToo

---

1168 days ago

The Stupidity of Newcastle University Prof Alison Stenning on the Gender Pay Gap - are our kids really taught by folk so dumb?

Right now Professor Alison Stenning, a professor of Social & Economic Geography is considering her next strike action in support of maintain the ludicrously generous taxpayer funded pension scheme of which she is a member. She is also tweeting such absurd nonsense on the gender pay gap that I despair that our kids are paying £9,000 a year to be taught by folks this stupid.

---

1170 days ago

Tom Winnifrith Bonus Bearcast: Stupid Theresa May jumps on gender pay gap bandwagon, media fails to see how meaningless data really is

As you know I care greatly about the way meaningless data is misinterpreted when it comes to the gender pay gap. That got me into an Orwellian soup thanks to a bedwetting millennial when I gave THIS lecture at Bath Spa University. Today is the day by when all companies must publish gender pay data. But the data offered is utterly meaningless and the fact that Theresa May uses it as she jumps on the bandwagon show what a silly woman she is. The BBC is wilfully misreporting it too as you can see below ref RyanAir (RYA). I explain why today's wall to wall coverage is so misleading.

---

1367 days ago

Tom Winnifrith Bearcast: Eric Schaer of MySQUAR your soul will burn in hell you bastard & your company is a POS too

A recent statement by MySquar (MYSQ)confuses genocide and mass rape with "civil unrest". This is obscene and shows that the company is morally bankrupt. Its CEO Eric Schaer will see his soul burn in hell for this and it makes me unspeakably angry. The company is a worthless piece of crap but promoting that is not now Eric's biggest sin. All is explained in this podcast. I also cover China New Energy (CNEL), Ryanair (RYA) - see this link - Petro Matad (MATD), FastForward (FFWD) and, in some detail, Paternoster Resources (PRS).

---

1368 days ago

Time to boycott Ryanair it lies and treats passengers with contempt once too often

At no-one is watching O'Clock on Friday , 5.29 PM, Michael O'Leary's Ryanair (RYA) slipped out a statement that is obviously a lie shows utter contempt for its customers. Not that this is a novelty. My boycott of RyanAir has started t how long before others do the same an RyanAir starts to suffer financially. Lying to and treating customers like shit is surely a bad business model.

---

1525 days ago

Diary of a Diabetic Day 12 - 9 point ffing three!

I wake up in Copenhagen after a night at the WakeUp Hotel which is the Ryanair of Danish hotels. That is to say, it tried to nickel and dime you at every chance. The place is literally on the wrong side of the tracks - that is to say the view from the small window of my smaller room (cost £152) is of the railway tracks. Everything is on top. Breakfast, coffee, I am almost expecting to face a surcharge for using the loo in my tint bathroom or for having pulled the curtains shut last night. If I want my boarding pass printed off at reception it will be an extra £8. Bastards. If Michael O'Leary did hotels...

---

1817 days ago

Celebrate remaining in Europe says Michael O'Leary - feck off you odious leprechaun

It was 34 minutes past midnight when I received a marketing communication from Michael O'Leary's Ryanair (RYA) with an offer I'm not going to publicise but headlined "celebrate remaining in Europe". 

---

1854 days ago

Ryanair boss Michael O'Leary - what he really thinks of the EU

Though not actually British, Michael O'Leary, the Ryanair (RYA) boss, is now an official ambassador for Project Fear telling us all that we must vote to stay in the EU or else. But back in 2011 he went to Brussels to tell the truth about what he actually thought of the EU, a body he described on that day as "The Evil Empire". Here captured on camera is what the pompous little prick really thinks 

---

1858 days ago

Tom Winnifrith Bearcast: Ryanair's Michael O'Leary hoisted on his own fecking EU £315m petard - rejoice!

The link is in the side bar but Ryanair (RYA) Euro loon Michael O'Leary  is today hoisted on his own £315 million EU petard. Fecking excellent news. Elsewhere I look at the piece of Turkish that is Golden Saint Resources (GSR) - still pissing away £3k a month on PR genius Steffi - as it heads for insolvency again. Then it is onto Nighthawk (HAWK) and Trinity Exploration (TRIN) and the problems for banks that lend to oil companies. Then I refer to HSS Hire (HSS) and cover Andalas (ADL) again as its shares sink like a stone. They have a lot further to sink, sell now!

---

1876 days ago

There must be intense competition but are these the two stupidest people in Birmingham?

I am not saying that all Brummies are thicker than Benny from Crossroads but it strikes me that he would probably have been among the brighter sparks in his local pub quiz team. I read today about Richella Heeking and Ben Marlow from Sutton Coldfield, who saved up £1200 to go on a lavish break in Las Vegas and turned up to Birmingham airport to find there was no plane.

Er.. slowly it dawned on these two imbeciles that they had booked a flight from Birmingham Alabama as opposed to Birmingham, the post industrial shit-hole on the southern fringes of the great Northern welfare safari.

These idiots insist that it is a common mistake. Yeah right,

ht, among folks 

---

1893 days ago

Brexit Project Fear lies: Nick Clegg serves up a whopper, even better than his student fees gag

Nick Clegg, the name rings a bell, didn't he used to be an MP? Apparently he still is and today he sent me a strong email telling me why I must vote to stay in the EU. The last time I remember Nick Clegg telling me I had to vote urgently it was to stop tuition fees for students. Can anyone remember how that one played out?

This time Nick says that I must vote to stay in the EU to ensure we still have low cost air travel in Europe. Apparently if Britain leaves the EU the low cost airlines say that "routes will be cut" and "prices will skyrocket."

Really? Can Mr Clegg

---

1933 days ago

Michael O Leary tells Loathsome & Evil Google to stop ripping off its fecking customers

You know that Michael O'Leary of RyanAir (RYA) is a bit of a hero of mine because he is a) Irish, b) a man who swears a lot and c) a man who tells the EU where to fecking stick it. I still loathe using his loathsome airline as it treats its customers like shit but O'Leary is a superstar. And now his company is sticking it to evil Google, possibly the world's most loathsome company. Go for it O'Leary.

---

2175 days ago

Ryanair vs Aegean – One says Feck You and takes your cash, the other is a good airline

The Mrs is to join me in Greece on Monday morning but made a bit of a boo boo when booking her outward flight. That is to say she booked it for the day after we return rather than for late Sunday night. Belatedly she realised the error and called the airline having already coughed up £380.

Luckily she had booked with the charming Greek airline Aegean who – for a small admin fee – switched the flight and wished her well.

Just imagine that she had flown with Ryanair:

Ryanair: “Hellow this is Europe’s top low cost airline how can we help you?

---

2538 days ago

Why I paid more NOT to fly Ryanair? Because it is just so cheap and nasty and tries to hustle me at every point

I have just booked my flight to Athens next week. RyanAir (RYA) was the cheapest flight but once you add in the charge for taking one full suitcase the gap between it and British Airways narrowed. And do I really want to trek out to Stansted rather than go to Heathrow on the tube which is much cheaper for me? The cost gap narrows again. And then O’Leary’s website tried to nickel and dime me on insurance and I just gave up and went with BA.

No I don’t want your frigging insurance O’Leary you shyster. It is expensive and pointless. So why have you opted me in for it? Ok you say that if I find a drop down menu I can opt out but try as hard as I could looking on your frigging website I cannot find it. You are not making it easy for me to avoid paying you an extra £13.20 for something that I do not want and which narrows the price gap with BA down to almost nothing.

As it happens the BA flight is at a time that suits me more - it lands at 3 in the morning so that I can drive without facing the Athens rush hour and be in the Mani in time for breakfast and to write my first Quindell article of the day.

I have done my maths

---

2661 days ago

Call Me tasteless & see if I care: Recycling the Oscar Pistorius twitter jokes

I first published this a year ago but since Mr Pistorius is back in the headlines as his trial gets underway, I guess this is worth recycling.

Some may describe this as being more tasteless than a Findus horse lasagne. There will be those who gloss over the reports of repeated domestic incidents in this household and say that we should all move on. I haven't. And so I bring you the best of the Oscar Pistorious twitter jokes today

 *@MrWard_* Oscar Pistorious killed his misses on valentines day so dont complain when yours forgets 2 get a card

*@sickipediabot* Roses are red, Violets are glorious, Don't try to surprise Oscar Pistorious.

 *‏@FattusAntus* Oscar Pistorious. Proof that a man with no legs is better at shooting than Theo Walcott.

*@FattusAntus* Oscar Pistorious. A history of violence against women and has spent most of his life legless. He’s the South African Paul Gascoigne.

*‏@aidan_fletcher* Oscar Pistorious shot dead his girlfriend last night. By the looks of things, he doesn't really have a leg to stand on...

*@Brandy_Carroll* Can't blame Oscar Pistorious for mistaking his girlfriend for a burglar. One takes half your money and possessions. The other is a burglar.

 *‏@NeilInbetween_* I think Oscar Pistorious took the band name 'Bullet for my valentine' a little too far

*@cobbo3* Lesson from Oscar Pistorious' girlfriend shooting? If your boyfriend has a gun, always try and get home b4 him.

 *@mrkennysenior* Police confirm that when Oscar Pistorious was arrested he was armed with a gun and two blades ‏

*@theponyboy* Think its pretty clear that Oscar Pistorious is an un-stable man

 *@LRPBaldwin* Apparently oscar pistorious shot his misses because he thought she was an intruder, police say he was on a night out an came home legless

*@JackMinall* Oscar Pistorious has now taken the worst boyfriend title away from Chris Brown. Shooting your misses on Valentines day.

 ‏@alex49200 Why was Oscar Pistorius's girlfriend burgling him? Yet more proof that women are mental.

*@richie_dgs* Oscar Pistorious- by the sounds of things he may not have legs but he is fully armed!

To read the best of the Pope quits twitter jokes go HERE.

To read the best of the Findus Lasagne twitter jokes go HERE

To read the best of the Tesco twitter jokes go HERE

To read the best of the Chris Huhne, Liar, criminal and ex MP twitter jokes go HERE.

To read the best of the Lance Armstrong twitter jokes go HERE

To read the best the #tweetlikealefty twitter jokes go HERE.  

To read the best of the Ryanair ( after losing ash cloud cast) twitter jokes click HERE. 

---

2716 days ago

Michael O’Leary of RyanAir set for twitter PR disaster at 4 PM today - #AskRyanair

Do not folks who have a few enemies learn their lessons from doing live twitter Q&A’s? it seems not. At 4 PM today Michael O’Leary from RyanAir (RYA) will be on line tweeting questions sent to #AskRyanair ? Oh dear. It already looks grim for the odious O’Leary.

Among the early starters are:

---

2886 days ago

Ryanair may be a pain in the neck to use but it does anti regulator jokes brilliantly

I take my hat off to Michael O' Leary and to Ryanair (RYA). I would not fly with it because its service is shite but it hates cretinous regulators and its press releases can be a hoot and today’s is a classic as it has another go at the morons who run the UK Competition Commission (CC).

---

2936 days ago

Croatia joins the Happy EU club on July 1 – are they mad or are we?

In four weeks’ time the happy band of brothers that is the EU will welcome a new member – its 28th. Welcome aboard Croatia you do not know all the fun you have been missing.

The unemployment rate in Croatia is 20.9% (against a Eurozone average of 12.2%) while youth unemployment is already 51.8%. So in terms of making this a greater “common market” what will be the added trade benefits to Britain of welcoming this economic basket case on board?  Er…exactly.

But of course it means that Croats can now pack their bags and seek employment or claim benefits elsewhere in Europe.  The first flight (one way) out of Zadar, Croatia to London Stansted after July 1st is on July 3rd and costs 47.99 Euro with Ryanair. You kind of sense that it will be sold out soon.

As an employer I welcome more cheap labour. Persuading a native Brit to come off welfare and earn £16,000 as a waitress is pretty much impossible and so the EU provides an answer. I gather that there are some good looking birds in Croatia and so I am not grumbling.

But I am not sure that on balance, the addition of another country which will be a net taker from EU funds really makes the case for the UK staying in the Evil Empire any more compelling.

As for Croatia presumably with its economy already fucked it can do a few Greek style fiddles and compound its misery by applying to join the Euro. At which point youth unemployment of 51.8% will seem like the “good old days.” Although perhaps not quite as good as the the glory days the last time it linked up in an Axis lead by Germany.

---

3056 days ago

Friday Caption Contest (on Sunday) – Conservative 2015 Election Triumph Strategy Edition

Apologies for the delay in the Friday caption contest – it is all Zak Mir’s fault.

I really cannot think of anything particularly important to prompt tasteless caption entries this week and so fall back on the issue which George Osborne says will be at the heart of the next Tory manifesto and which is guaranteed to bring the faithful back to the Conservative fold.

As you know, I would allow gay marriage. But I cannot say that it is the number one issue on my mind right now. The way that the Tory party is tearing itself apart with half its MPs revealing themselves as knuckleheaded bigots while the other half show themselves as being even more out of touch by making this such a number one priority is almost comical. If the Tories are to tear themselves apart at least they could do it over something that matters like the EU or the fact that Britain is going bankrupt.

Anyhow, to win an “It’s time to leave” T-shirt please post your captions in the comments box below (Jon Pickles, this has to be an easy Prince Harry one for you)

You can, of course, buy your own It’s Time to Leave T-shirt, hoodie, mug or thermos flask here.

For what it is worth my entry is:

---

3058 days ago

RyanAir Loses Ash case - the twitter joke reaction plus another helping of Tesco

For once the European court gets it right and will force Ryanair to do what all other airlines did two years ago and compensate passengers who lost flights due to volcanic ash. And so I bring you the instant Twitter joke reaction, plus a few older RyanAir jokes for good measure and to go with your coffee (that will be €five please) an ater dinner snack (that will be €7) from Tesco

The DM Reporter ‏@DMReporter
TRAVEL: Ryan Air introduce new £510 admin charge for any customer claiming £500 compensation for delays.

Jim Kellam ‏@creativejimsez
If oxygen masks came down in an emergency (they do have them right?) Ryanair would try & charge for the oxygen

Ruth Dudley Edwards ‏@RuthDE
‘I’ve just about had it with Ryanair. Now they want to charge me for my emotional baggage!’ #ryanair

Ben Davies ‏@bt_davies
BBC News – French-led troops ‘have control of Timbuktu airport’ http://bbc.in/14mLt3C – excellent. #ryanair’s new route to Avignon

And a few older jokes:

Michael O’Leary of Ryanair goes into a Dublin pub and asks for a pint of Guinness.

“That will be one Euro, please,” says the barman.
“That’s a very fair price,” replies O’Leary.
“Would you like a glass with that, sir?” asks the barman.

Why won’t Al Qaida ever bomb a Ryanair flight?
Because they want to go straight to paradise, not 30 miles away and take a taxi.

So the new ‘Apple maps’ has cities placed miles from where they should be.
Hardly new, Ryanair pilots have been using the app for years now.

I have empathy with Lindsay Sandiford.
I would smuggle 5kg of cocaine into Ireland before the bills from Ryanair for excess baggage stopped it being profitable.

And that Tesco tweet:
*David Glass ‏@JacksonTar
Tesco in trouble again – traces of human DNA found in their Welsh Lamb

---

3125 days ago

Two faced Deluded Lefty of the Day- Councillor Chris Roberts: leader of Greenwich Council & Latvian Tall ship enthusiast

Every day some bleating lefty from local Government is quoted on how the wicked Tories are savaging front line services by cutting their budget. Well a) they are not and b) the way the same folks find ways to piss away the cash they do have is just amazing. Today’s two faced deluded lefty of the day is Councillor Chris Roberts, the long serving leader of Greenwich Council in London. Labour ‘natch.

What Comrade Roberts says:

---

3221 days ago

RyanAir & EasyJet – Scrooge and Bedlam in One: Bad, Mad and Driving me Nuts

At one level you cannot fault RyanAir and EasyJet. Fuel prices are high, overall passenger volumes soft and while the flag carriers report dire numbers, these companies continue to make vast profits. Crack out the nasty sparkling white wine at 9 euro for a small plastic bottle and let’s party. But at another level, as a customer, I use them because it is cheaper to do so but hate them more every time I travel with them.

The Daily Mail today brings you a couple of reasons to hate EasyAir and I bring you another. First we have the case of the lady who was admittedly travelling with Monarch Airlines but since it operates a similar sort of service I lump it in with the general pile. This poor lady (who seems to have a penchant for covering herself in hideous tattoos and so I shall spare you the link) told Monarch staff that she was cold and asked for a blanket. Sadly this was against Health & Safety Regulations and so she had to shiver. Ten minutes later staff wandered round offering all passengers a pack of an eye mask, blow up pillow and er…a blanket for just £5. But i thought you said something spurious about Health & Safety?

---