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More Lynx = Fewer ramblers - good news all round for Britain

Tom Winnifrith
Friday 27 May 2016

The National Farmers Union has warned that releasing lynx cats back into the wildlife, so bringing natives species back to Britain, will mean more attacks on ramblers. Good news, where can I donate to the good work of bringing this wonderful cat back to the UK?

Farmers don't normally like ramblers. For ramblers believe they have a right to walk anywhere, trampling crops, worrying livestock and showing no respect for Private property. As such they are instinctive lefties and most of them read the Guardian. I am with the Lynx all the way. I can think of few folk, other than greedy junior doctors, more deserving of a good mauling by a wild cat than the ramblers.

I read that if the Lynx introduction goes well there are plans to reintroduce the wolf to Britain. No doubt the farmers will then kick up a fuss about how wolves might eat ramblers.

Great. that would give the ramblers an end of life acceptance that vegetarianism is just not the way things work in the natural world. Sod the lynx, lets just go straight for it and start releasing wolves across the countryside at once. Where do I donate to that good cause?

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About Tom Winnifrith
Tom Winnifrith is the editor of When he is not harvesting olives in Greece, he is (planning to) raise goats in Wales.
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