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Mr Rat is back at the Greek hovel: doesn't he know I'm the frigging Gruffalo?

Tom Winnifrith Sunday 5 June 2016

 

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He is back. In the space between the window at the far end of the room from my bed and the shutter sits a smallish rat. It is where the rats always sit. I thought that I had driven them all away with generous helpings of rat "sweeties", the little blue pills which help send them to a "better place".

Sadly I heard a rustling last night and there today sat the rat. I banged on the window and it did nothing. It was clearly unaware that I am a serial rat killer well versed in using both poison and the mini spade I use for clearing out the fireplace for smiting my enemy. Frigging hell Mr Rat have you not seen the axe and saw I wield as I wade into the snake fields? I am the frigging Gruffalo and you are meant to be scared of me like the snakes who slither away. But Mr Rat seemed unphased.

So I opened the window a bit and dropped in four big rat sweeties. Mr Rat is delighted and is sitting there now munching away happily. Be my guest Roland....

About Tom Winnifrith
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Tom Winnifrith is the editor of TomWinnifrith.com. When he is not harvesting olives in Greece, he is (planning to) raise goats in Wales.
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