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Can we emigrate if Andrea Leadsom becomes PM? I ask the Mrs politely

Tom Winnifrith
Sunday 10 July 2016

Before every big election there are always a few luvvies who threaten to emigrate if the reactionary forces of nationalism and eveil capitalism (which have made them so stinking rich) are seen to triumph. That is to say we the plebs are told vote Labour/Remain or the luvvies are off. Paul O'Grady, aka drag Queen Lily Savage. notably said he'd flee the UK and his luxury London apartment and Kent farmhouse if the wicked Tories won in 2015.

O'Grady has, of course, refused to leave. What is his problem? Surely he knows the way to the airport? Or are his vast fees paid by the BBC and extorted in a regressive poll tax from the poor and working classes, just too much of a reason to stay in Britain?

After each contest when the smelly peasants fail to do what the luvvies want the luvvies renege on their promises to emigrate, much to my disappointment. Go on O'Grady feck off and perhaps the poll tax (license fee) might be reduced so making the poor better off. Better still O'Grady, take Graham Norton. Kirsty Wark and Gary Lineker with you and the savings will really start to rack up.

So now the lying and unpleasant bankster, bigoted Andrea Leadsom may well become our next Prime Minister. As you may know, I want to live in Greece but the Mrs is not so keen on the plan. But I felt confident that she would, as one of life's Guardian readers, be really very hostile to a Leadsom premiership. So i asked "should we emigrate if Leadsom wins?" I do not actually fear Andrea being PM that much although I'd rather not see her inane grin on TV every day but I hoped the Mrs would, and would thus agree to my plan.

"Don't be so silly" I was told. The Mrs views Leadsom as a ghastly bigot but as a Guardian reader that is pretty much how she views all Tories. She is not frightened by her. And thus my cunning emigration plan has been foiled. I cannot make the threat even, like Mr O'Grady, without actually meaning it.

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About Tom Winnifrith
Tom Winnifrith is the editor of When he is not harvesting olives in Greece, he is (planning to) raise goats in Wales.
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