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How should a mad lefty Guardian reader react to an outrage like Munich?

Tom Winnifrith
Friday 22 July 2016

Munich, Nice, Norfolk, 9/11, Charlie Hebdo the attacks are all horrible. And there is a fairly obvious common thread. It is nothing to do with ISIS, Al-Qaeda or Islam, it is how the deluded lefty reacts as he or she prays that it is a right wing crazy.

1. Tweet a call for a ban on guns #Munich. Okay gun laws were among the tightest in the world where the attack happened. Irrelevant. The attackers used a plane/axe or lorry. Irrelevant. Guns kill. Nothing to do with humans. Ban guns.

2. Add a flag of whatever country the outrage is happening in to your twitter account.

3. Say Je Suis German or Ich bin French on twitter. By now the terrorists are terrified by your wit, bravery and resolve.

4. Tweet out "prayforINSERTPLACENAME. This call to prayer is a bit of an oddity. As a liberal you don't go to Church and regard the religious as sad stupid people clinging to the old ways.

5. Go to facebook and like an article in the Guardian saying how Brexit has made us less safe.

6. Tweet again prayforINSERTPLACENAME and then tweet that the attack has nothing to do with religion

7. If the attacker is a Moslem, Go and watch BBC which has managed to find a victim who is a Moslem. Lucy Williamson says there are tears in Mosques tonight and you nod your approval,

8. If the attacker is a Moslem, post comments on facebook expressing your concerns that Moslems will suffer a backlash and saying how they are the real victims of this outrage.

9. If the attacker is a Moslem, like a tweet where Polly Toynbee says how Donald Trump's comments about Moslems are causing more victims of racism to flock to terror.

10. If the attacker is a right wing fanatic, make sure everyone knows that he was incited by Boris, farage, Trump, Le Pen and in fact anyone who has ever questioned immigration. Please note that ring wing murderers are not mad, they are just normal right wingers driven to murder by politicians who dare to question matters such as multiculturalism. 

11. Meet your friends for a semi skimmed organic fair trade latte - together you show bravery and solidarity against terror as you discuss next week's demonstration calling for another vote on Brexit.

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About Tom Winnifrith
Tom Winnifrith is the editor of When he is not harvesting olives in Greece, he is (planning to) raise goats in Wales.
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