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Can I divorce the Mrs for reading Prima Magazine? the case for an Asteroid strike on Britain - women's magazines

Tom Winnifrith
Thursday 8 September 2016

Facing her first, unexpected night at the Hospital the Mrs found herself without a book or laptop. As such she needed to buy a general interest Women's magazine. We stared at the selection in the Co-Op before we wandered back towards the ward.

One publication was focusing on a new interview with Catherine Zeta Jones as she pumped her latest movie. This is a woman who has revealed her secrets to magazines and the TV so many times that the whole world already knows everything about her right down to the size of her cervix. In another magazine Claire Balding was promising to reveal all. What? You are a lesbian Claire? FFS I never knew that. You've been keeping that as a well guarded secret have you not? Has it been tough being gay at the BBC? Do you think its affirmative action programmes are effective enough? Oddly this all rings a bell or two as well.

Perhaps magazine three featuring Mary Berry pumping her new show might be of interest? Gosh Mary you have a sweet tooth and eat lots of cakes. Well I never. Maybe you should become a cook? BTW Mary, did you know that Claire is a lesbian and that Catherine likes acting in films?

Finally it was Prima magazine on whose cover was Hermione Norris pumping her latest TV show, the return of Cold Feet. The Mrs loves that show and I admit that it was not complete torture. I also have a soft spot for Hermione for her part in Wire in the Blood so it was Prima Magazine that was purchased.

Jeepers. It took me about two minutes to establish that from cover to cover it was vacuous piffle. To think that folks actually earn a living putting this rubbish together and that vast numbers of Britons buy these publications. Gosh it is a depressing reflection on modern Britain. Bring on the asteroid strike.

Pro tem do you think that the Mrs buying and reading Prima Magazine is grounds for divorce? That might sound a trifle harsh four days before she is due to give birth but Prima truly is appalling.

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About Tom Winnifrith
Tom Winnifrith is the editor of When he is not harvesting olives in Greece, he is (planning to) raise goats in Wales.
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