Personal and undiluted views
Lance Armstrong

1342 days ago

The scale of cheating in Australian cricket will come to horrify us all

The lead opinion piece in today's Times newspaper explains how academic success is not down to the choice of school but is genetic. The lead sports story is about how a nation where most folks are descended from convicted criminals has been caught cheating on an industrial scale at its national sport. Discuss.

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2486 days ago

John Profumo vs Lance Armstrong

John Profumo’s political career ended in disgrace in the early 1960s. By the standards of today his crime – lying to the House of Commons about an affair – was minor. But he did not look back. He headed off to the East End to work to help poor folks from Toynbee Hall and worked there until his death. He did not seek a comeback or forgiveness. However, his humility and kindness meant that when he died few had a bad word to say about him. He was a good man who appeared to have accepted that he had sinned and wanted to make amends.

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2824 days ago

Call Me tasteless & see if I care: Recycling the Oscar Pistorius twitter jokes

I first published this a year ago but since Mr Pistorius is back in the headlines as his trial gets underway, I guess this is worth recycling.

Some may describe this as being more tasteless than a Findus horse lasagne. There will be those who gloss over the reports of repeated domestic incidents in this household and say that we should all move on. I haven't. And so I bring you the best of the Oscar Pistorious twitter jokes today

 *@MrWard_* Oscar Pistorious killed his misses on valentines day so dont complain when yours forgets 2 get a card

*@sickipediabot* Roses are red, Violets are glorious, Don't try to surprise Oscar Pistorious.

 *‏@FattusAntus* Oscar Pistorious. Proof that a man with no legs is better at shooting than Theo Walcott.

*@FattusAntus* Oscar Pistorious. A history of violence against women and has spent most of his life legless. He’s the South African Paul Gascoigne.

*‏@aidan_fletcher* Oscar Pistorious shot dead his girlfriend last night. By the looks of things, he doesn't really have a leg to stand on...

*@Brandy_Carroll* Can't blame Oscar Pistorious for mistaking his girlfriend for a burglar. One takes half your money and possessions. The other is a burglar.

 *‏@NeilInbetween_* I think Oscar Pistorious took the band name 'Bullet for my valentine' a little too far

*@cobbo3* Lesson from Oscar Pistorious' girlfriend shooting? If your boyfriend has a gun, always try and get home b4 him.

 *@mrkennysenior* Police confirm that when Oscar Pistorious was arrested he was armed with a gun and two blades ‏

*@theponyboy* Think its pretty clear that Oscar Pistorious is an un-stable man

 *@LRPBaldwin* Apparently oscar pistorious shot his misses because he thought she was an intruder, police say he was on a night out an came home legless

*@JackMinall* Oscar Pistorious has now taken the worst boyfriend title away from Chris Brown. Shooting your misses on Valentines day.

 ‏@alex49200 Why was Oscar Pistorius's girlfriend burgling him? Yet more proof that women are mental.

*@richie_dgs* Oscar Pistorious- by the sounds of things he may not have legs but he is fully armed!

To read the best of the Pope quits twitter jokes go HERE.

To read the best of the Findus Lasagne twitter jokes go HERE

To read the best of the Tesco twitter jokes go HERE

To read the best of the Chris Huhne, Liar, criminal and ex MP twitter jokes go HERE.

To read the best of the Lance Armstrong twitter jokes go HERE

To read the best the #tweetlikealefty twitter jokes go HERE.  

To read the best of the Ryanair ( after losing ash cloud cast) twitter jokes click HERE. 

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3218 days ago

The best of the Chris Huhne MP (pro tem) jokes from twitter

As Chris Huhne MP (pro tem) prepares to leave the house of commons to spend some time an another institution full of liars and thieves ( so no change there), twitter erupts into a volley of abuse. Here’s the best

@gabrielquotes
#Huhne has been driven out of office by this scandal. Or did he drive himself?

@jetboyfantastic
Vicky Pryce was furious about Trimingham now she’s pleased #Huhne is doing some bird.

@GarionTweets
Today is a good day to bury bad #Huhne’s..

‏@pperrin
Clegg ‘I am shocked and saddned that Chris #Huhne has admitted criminaly perverting the course of justice – he should have kept lying’

@CaptainRanty
“Miss Pryce is using an archaic defence called ‘marital coercion’ ‘ So can I use the same thing to get out of shopping?

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3223 days ago

The best of the Lance Armstrong tweets

We love cycling at Real Man Pizza Company. Sitting in our quirkly Celtic Italian restaurant in Clerkenwell I am at this very moment staring at a framed, signed Mark Cavendish jersey from a couple of years ( and teams) ago. Cav is a real man…he wouldn’t cry on a talk show. And that brings us to Lance.

Now that I have officially won exactly the same number of Tour De France yellow jerseys as Lance Armstrong, I bring you a quiick review of the best Lance Armstrong tweeted jokes. Twitter is not ALL rubbish.

@BouwerBosch
Lance Armstrong’s darkest legacy will be that he convinced millions of men it was okay to wear cycling shorts – Andre Botha

@funnyordie
Lance Armstrong sends a powerful message to the kids of America: don’t do drugs and cheat unless you want to be rich and go on Oprah.

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