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Mark Drakeford you insane little man – this is why I had to break your asinine rules for Wales twice this morning

Tom Winnifrith
Monday 26 October 2020

Clinically insane sufferer from little man syndrome, Mark Drakeford, rules a land now into its third day of house arrest. Its third day when shops are not able to sell what are deemed non-essential items such as clothes for my four year old and also for another baby due shortly, or a card to send to someone suffering a bereavement, or a computer.  Today my laptop broke down…

I am a journalist so not having a computer means that I cannot work to earn the money to pay for a new Moses basket, nappies, West Ham romper suits and other “non-essential” items. As a result of the Drakeford edict, the store in Wrexham where I bought my laptop is, pro tem, shuttered.

So what to do? Do I break the law and head to England or have two weeks off work, something that would not, I suggest, do much for the finances of the most excellent fraudbusting website I edit Perhaps Mr Drakeford thinks I should just sack a couple of staff, presumably starting with those who are English and live in England?

Of course, I yet again broke the law and headed over the small bridge at the end of our village into disease ridden Cheshire. Luckily there were no members of Drakeford’s Stasi there to monitor me. I drove 600 yards into England and dropped my laptop off. Half an hour later, I repeated the journey to pick up a, now, fully functional laptop.

I can now work again but only because I breached these asinine rules which will do nothing at all to stop the spread of Covid.  We are already being warned that, here in Wales, there will almost certainly be another “firebreak” – after Christmas, after this one fails to stop the spread of the disease or indeed to stop the plague ridden infidels, Mr Drakeford insists live in England, making it to this side of the border.

In a few hours I shall go to England, legally, to pick my son up from nursery where he has mingled mask free with loads of English infidels. That trip will be legal. So perhaps Mr Drakeford can explain in clearly logical terms why driving 600 yards into England to pick up my son does not spread covid while driving 600 yards into England to pick up a laptop does?  Over to you Mr Drakeford. I’d like an answer before the men in white coats come calling for you.

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About Tom Winnifrith
Tom Winnifrith is the editor of When he is not harvesting olives in Greece, he is (planning to) raise goats in Wales.
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