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Photo Article from the Welsh Hovel: Life imitates art, my cats prove they are true Northerners part 5

Tom Winnifrith
Sunday 27 December 2020

So the Mrs thought about getting the cats a basket but I insisted that that was for soft Southerners and that our Northern cats, the scousers Quincey and Sian, needed and wanted only a cardboard box each as they said, in true Monty Python fashion: “when we were young we were poor but we were happy”. So she took away a cardboard box.

“When I was young”, said Quincey, “we could only dream of sleeping in a cardboard box - we used to lie on a plastic bag“.

So the Mrs took away his plastic bag.

“When I was young,” said Quincey, “we actually didn’t have any plastic bags. That was for the rich cats in Liverpool. We slept on an old carpet on a cold floor.

“An old carpet on a cold floor! Luxury. The Mrs, with her training at a posh school for young ladies, thought that her newly restored living room could do without a scouser cat. Quincey said “ sleeping on a carpet on a cold floor, that would be luxury, when I was young we slept in a sink but it was a clean sink and we were happy.”

But the Mrs thought that this was not very sanitary and had bad elf ‘n’ safey implications. And thus Quincey was exiled from the utility room.

Not a problem said the Northerner “When I was young we thought a clean sink would have been luxury, we used to sleep on a dirty builders mat on a building site” And thus this is a room upstairs where the walls have been stripped, hence the messy floor, but not replastered or painted. The heater is not switched on as this smallest of bedrooms will not be ready until the spring. But for that very reason he is unlikely to be disturbed by the lady of the house.



the spring

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About Tom Winnifrith
Tom Winnifrith is the editor of When he is not harvesting olives in Greece, he is (planning to) raise goats in Wales.
[email protected]
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