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Diolch i'r ffyliaid saesneg hael

Tom Winnifrith
Saturday 15 May 2021

The Mrs and I live in the rain-sodden, post-industrial, second world country that is Wales by just thirty yards. At the end of our garden and fields flows the river which separates us from the infidels in England. Here in Wales we pay less, on average, in tax than the accursed English but we get more spent on us on average by our preposterous Government of all the, lack of, talents. And now we are all, each and every one of us, going to get loads of bonus free money and guess where it is coming from?

Labour-run Wales proposes, with the support of the cottage burning lunatics of Plaid Cymru, to introduce a Universal Basic Income, a handout to each one of us which will be enough to support our cost of living. It does not matter if you are as rich as Charlotte Church or as poor as a church mouse, you will get the same handout. Fantastic! I knew I was right to vote for Plaid. Free everything for everybody paid for by the English. What is not to like?

The Mrs and I do not need the cash so I have suggested that we use it to stock up on expensive, non EU of course, wines and to gamble on speculative AIM shares. She, being a good socialist, is thinking about using it to save up for Joshua’s public school fees. Or perhaps we could put it towards the costs of maintaining the swimming pool at our Greek House. It’s great news for us and the idea that it is English taxpayers, many of whom can’t – I imagine – afford a luxury second house and pool in Greece or public school tuition for the kids, who are picking up the tab makes it even better still.

If I was an English taxpayer, I might not think that this was such a brilliant wheeze or entirely fair but I am not and so to those infidels on the other side of the river I just want to say diolch i’r ffyliaid saesneg hael I shall be thinking of you all as I dive into the pool in a few weeks time. Once again: diolch.


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About Tom Winnifrith
Tom Winnifrith is the editor of When he is not harvesting olives in Greece, he is (planning to) raise goats in Wales.
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