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Tomorrow’s coronation is the first since 1911 where my great grandfather is not officiating, I'll be with the vegetables

Tom Winnifrith
Friday 5 May 2023

I am pretty sure that I will not be watching the coronation. That is partly because I am a lifelong Republican but largely because I am in charge of my two year old daughter Jaya this weekend and she would describe it as a “boring daddy programme” and demand loudly and repeatedly that we switch over to Peppa Pig. So as my neighbours are glued to the goggle box, Jaya and I shall be planting rhubarb, broad beans and carrots in the garden which she greatly enjoys.

Then there is a fete with beer tent on the village green to attend. But at the last coronation my great grandfather was doing more than watching.

Sir Arthur Cochrane, pictured HERE in uniform as a young man, was a herald. I assume that heralds will not officiate tomorrow but will be replaced by members of the board of Trustees of the Haringey black lesbians collective as part of King Charles’ desire to be more inclusive.

But in years gone by the “Kings of Arms” are the only folks allowed to wear a crown at the coronation other than the monarch. Heaven knows what that is all about.  When not officiating at coronations , heralds spend their time designing coats of arms for the nouveaux riche.  Sir Arthur, as it happens, designed the coat of arms of my old school, the ghastly bastion of abuse that was Warwick.

Sir Arthur officiated at the 1937 coronation and also a year before he died at that of the late Queen in 1953. I have the medals he was awarded for that. This will be the first coronation since 1911 at which he has not officiated. I am sure that some of his heirs will be watching but I shall be talking to my vegetables. At least that is something that comrade Charles Windsor could relate to.

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About Tom Winnifrith
Tom Winnifrith is the editor of When he is not harvesting olives in Greece, he is (planning to) raise goats in Wales.
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